looked at myself in the mirror for the 10 th time and settled on my gray pencil skirt that was graciously given to me by Maggie, and a black blouse with a gray blazer. This will have to do, it’s not a fashion show Grace, get it together. I heard Maggie pull up; I grabbed my purse and keys and headed out to meet my fate.
Once we got into the courtroom, I literally started to have a panic attack, my hands were sweating and my knees were shaking. Get a grip Grace; you need to hold it together for Maggie and for Oli.
We sat for about thirty minutes until the door opened and the judge came in and sat at his spot behind the bench. My heart was beating faster and faster, Maggie grabbed my hand and just held it tight. Thank goodness, she was keeping it together because I was not. I sat nervously fidgeting for what seemed like forever, I glanced around the courtroom and noticed a woman looking straight at me. I quickly turned away; ever have one of those feelings where someone is watching you? Well I have and I looked back towards her way and she was still staring. Um…can I help you, is what I wanted to say, but I did not. The way she was staring at me made my skin crawl. Maybe she just recognized me from around Boston. I have no clue but I quickly tried to put any thoughts out of my head and focus on what was happening.
Four exhausting hours later the jury had reached a verdict. I heard Maggie starting to twitch in her seat now, this was really putting a lot of stress on all of us. Oli tried to reassure me every chance he got, Maggie was optimistic too, apparently she knew her brother a lot more than me. She said he was too hard to say no to so his lawyers would get him out of this, no matter what.
I sat and waited for the jury member to stand up. It almost felt like my entire life was flashing before my eyes. I jerked my body when I saw the man at the end of the row on the jury line stand up. He had a folded piece of paper in his hand and he handed it to the bailiff to give to the judge. The judge opened it up and read it, his face was blank with emotion, I tried to read into it but couldn’t , when he handed the folded up piece of white paper containing my husband’s future on it I thought I was going to pass out.
Take a deep breath Grace, you can do this, he unfolded the piece of paper and in slow motion his mouth opened and the words, “Not Guilty” came out of his mouth. I wanted to leap from my seat and kiss that man straight on the mouth! I did not realize that I had dug my nails into Maggie’s arm until she said “Ouch Grace, you trying to kill me woman,” Maggie yelled. Oops, “Sorry Mags, did he just say what I think he just said?” she smiled so sweetly to me, “Yes Gracie, not guilty, our boy is coming home…this time for good,” she said grinning.
The judge came down to shake Oli’s hand, I was surprised, it didn’t look like they knew each other but more than a fair share of people had congratulated us and I could tell that Oli was very well respected in New York, he had a lot of his old friends from his old office there to support him. I just could not believe that he had gotten out of this; sure, I know it was self-defense and Oli was trying to save my life, but he had killed him. That will stay with him forever and whether he wants to admit it or not, spending time in jail and living with the guilt of murdering someone will always be with him.
He says that if he had to go back he would not have changed anything. I understand him needing to protect me but if I could back…I would not have put him in this situation, but I cannot go back, I cannot change anything or the fact that I fell so deeply and irrevocably in love with Oliver James.
We were
Once we got into the courtroom, I literally started to have a panic attack, my hands were sweating and my knees were shaking. Get a grip Grace; you need to hold it together for Maggie and for Oli.
We sat for about thirty minutes until the door opened and the judge came in and sat at his spot behind the bench. My heart was beating faster and faster, Maggie grabbed my hand and just held it tight. Thank goodness, she was keeping it together because I was not. I sat nervously fidgeting for what seemed like forever, I glanced around the courtroom and noticed a woman looking straight at me. I quickly turned away; ever have one of those feelings where someone is watching you? Well I have and I looked back towards her way and she was still staring. Um…can I help you, is what I wanted to say, but I did not. The way she was staring at me made my skin crawl. Maybe she just recognized me from around Boston. I have no clue but I quickly tried to put any thoughts out of my head and focus on what was happening.
Four exhausting hours later the jury had reached a verdict. I heard Maggie starting to twitch in her seat now, this was really putting a lot of stress on all of us. Oli tried to reassure me every chance he got, Maggie was optimistic too, apparently she knew her brother a lot more than me. She said he was too hard to say no to so his lawyers would get him out of this, no matter what.
I sat and waited for the jury member to stand up. It almost felt like my entire life was flashing before my eyes. I jerked my body when I saw the man at the end of the row on the jury line stand up. He had a folded piece of paper in his hand and he handed it to the bailiff to give to the judge. The judge opened it up and read it, his face was blank with emotion, I tried to read into it but couldn’t , when he handed the folded up piece of white paper containing my husband’s future on it I thought I was going to pass out.
Take a deep breath Grace, you can do this, he unfolded the piece of paper and in slow motion his mouth opened and the words, “Not Guilty” came out of his mouth. I wanted to leap from my seat and kiss that man straight on the mouth! I did not realize that I had dug my nails into Maggie’s arm until she said “Ouch Grace, you trying to kill me woman,” Maggie yelled. Oops, “Sorry Mags, did he just say what I think he just said?” she smiled so sweetly to me, “Yes Gracie, not guilty, our boy is coming home…this time for good,” she said grinning.
The judge came down to shake Oli’s hand, I was surprised, it didn’t look like they knew each other but more than a fair share of people had congratulated us and I could tell that Oli was very well respected in New York, he had a lot of his old friends from his old office there to support him. I just could not believe that he had gotten out of this; sure, I know it was self-defense and Oli was trying to save my life, but he had killed him. That will stay with him forever and whether he wants to admit it or not, spending time in jail and living with the guilt of murdering someone will always be with him.
He says that if he had to go back he would not have changed anything. I understand him needing to protect me but if I could back…I would not have put him in this situation, but I cannot go back, I cannot change anything or the fact that I fell so deeply and irrevocably in love with Oliver James.
We were
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