Saint Mazie: A Novel by Jami Attenberg Page B

ocean.
    Rosie said: And I think it’ll bring us all closer together. There’s too much city out there, getting in the way of this family.
    Jeanie said: I feel plenty close to you right here.
    Rosie said: I can’t keep track of you girls anymore.
    Jeanie said: But I’m happy here.
    I couldn’t bring myself to argue either way. I haven’t slept through a night since I lost the baby. Maybe this home was ruined for Rosie as much as it was for me.
    Rosie said: You can work for Louis out there, it’ll be fun.
    Jeanie said: Doing what?
    Rosie said: He bought some bumper cars at Luna Park.
    Jeanie lurched a little bit, like she was going to be sick.
    Rosie said: You don’t like it, you got ways out.
    She was talking about Ethan. We’ve all been waiting for him to propose.
    Jeanie tried one last time.
    She said: Didn’t you raise me to be something more than the girl who runs the bumper cars?
    Rosie said: I raised you to be a part of this family. Don’t be putting on any airs with me. You came from the same house I did. You’re not too good for anything.
    Jeanie said nothing after that. I thought she’d put up a fight, being far away from her beloved theater. But she just kept calm. Quiet face, quiet hands, still and calm. Give in like the rest of us, was what I was thinking. It won’t hurt but for a minute.

Mazie’s Diary, May 1, 1919
    The Captain is here.
    I looked up this morning in the cage, and he was smiling at me, and then he laughed. Was there a joke that was funny because I hadn’t heard it.
    He said: Happy May Day.
    There he was, as if nine months hadn’t passed at all, and it was perfectly normal for him to be waiting in line to buy a ticket for the matinee. I had thought of him so often it was like he had become some kind of dream.
    He said: Did you get the postcards I sent?
    I wished I didn’t have them hanging up behind me in the cage.
    I said: I might have seen a postcard or two. Bragging about your travels while I’m just sitting here in this cage.
    He said: I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you the whole time.
    First time I met him, I knew he was full of lines. Second time I met him, it still didn’t matter. They all just sounded so good coming out of his mouth.
    My hands were in fists and I didn’t even notice it until he slid his hand through the cage and on top of them. His voice got real soft.
    He said: I don’t write just everyone.
    I looked up at him and I kept my mouth tight but then I batted my eyelashes at him anyway. I couldn’t help it. He stirred something in my loins, or at least close to that area.
    He said: Come on, how could I forget a girl like you? The most famous girl downtown. I bet people come from all over just to see that pretty face of yours.
    I said: Well I do get a line.
    I couldn’t let him touch me for a second longer. I pulled my hand away and lit a cigarette, and then held my other hand to my wrist to keep it from shaking. I was feeling so much and I couldn’t tell if it was hate or love or both.
    He said: I’d stand in line to take you out to dinner. Dinner and a show, show and a dinner. Whatever you want, whatever order. You’re in charge, Mazie.
    I had no excuse not to, except maybe then I’ll have to tell him the truth about what happened. But I told him I’d meet him tomorrow.
    When I got home I told Rosie she’d have to stead me the next night at the theater. She can’t deny me a thing right now.

Mazie’s Diary, May 2, 1919
    What a night! I can’t figure out if I should have seen it coming or not. If I should blame myself for not knowing what was going on in my own home.
    I met the Captain on the corner by the theater, far out of Rosie’s sight. We walked together to Little Italy. I didn’t put my arm through his at first, but I did let him make me laugh. He took me to the Blue Grotto. I ate one of his meatballs. I nearly let him feed it to me, but then I took the fork from his hand. It felt too close, too fast. I liked how nervous he