phantom through the city? She came to him and took his hand, and said, softly, tenderly, “Were you really serious, about having them make you age?”
“If there’s no other way, yes.”
“The other way is so frightening, Charles.”
“Is it?”
“You can’t understand how much.”
“More frightening than growing old? Than dying?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I suppose not. The only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t want you to get old, Charles.”
“But I won’t have to. Will I?”
He stared at her.
“No,” she said. “You won’t have to. Neither of us will.”
Phillips smiled. “We should get away from here,” he said after a while. “Let’s go across to Byzantium, yes, Gioia? We’ll show up in Constantinople for the opening. Your friends will be there. We’ll tell them what you’ve decided to do. They’ll know how to arrange it. Someone will.”
“It sounds so strange,” said Gioia. “To turn myself into—into a visitor? A visitor in my own world?”
“That’s what you’ve always been, though.”
“I suppose. In a way. But at least I’ve been real up to now.”
“Whereas I’m not?”
“Are you, Charles?”
“Yes. Just as real as you. I was angry at first, when I found out the truth about myself. But I came to accept it. Somewhere between Mohenjo and here, I came to see that it was all right to be what I am: that I perceive things, I form ideas, I draw conclusions. I am very well designed, Gioia. I can’t tell the difference between being what I am and being completely alive, and to me that’s being real enough. I think, I feel, I experience joy and pain. I’m as real as I need to be. And you will be, too. You’ll never stop being Gioia, you know. It’s only your body that you’ll cast away, the body that played such a terrible joke on you anyway.” He brushed her cheek with his hand. “It was all said for us before, long ago:
‘Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake—’ ”
“Is that the same poem?” she asked.
“The same poem, yes. The ancient poem that isn’t quite forgotten yet.”
“Finish it, Charles.”
—“Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.”
“How beautiful. What does it mean?”
“That it isn’t necessary to be mortal. That we can allow ourselves to be gathered into the artifice of eternity, that we can be transformed, that we can move on beyond the flesh. Yeats didn’t mean it in quite the way I do—he wouldn’t have begun to comprehend what we’re talking about, not a word of it—and yet, and yet—the underlying truth is the same. Live, Gioia! With me!” He turned to her and saw color coming into her pallid cheeks. “It does make sense, what I’m suggesting, doesn’t it? You’ll attempt it, won’t you? Whoever makes the visitors can be induced to remake you. Right? What do you think: can they, Gioia?”
She nodded in a barely perceptible way. “I think so,” she said faintly. “It’s very strange. But I think it ought to be possible. Why not, Charles? Why not?”
“Yes,” he said. “Why not?”
In the morning they hired a vessel in the harbor, a low sleek pirogue with a blood-red sail, skippered by a rascally-looking temporary whose smile was irresistible. Phillips shaded his eyes and peered northward across the sea. He thought he could almost make out the shape of the great city sprawling on its seven hills, Constantine’s New Rome beside the Golden Horn, the mighty dome of Hagia Sophia, the somber walls of the citadel, the palaces and churches, the Hippodrome, Christ in glory rising above all else in brilliant mosaic streaming with light.
“Byzantium,” Phillips said. “Take us there the shortest and quickest way.”
“It is my pleasure,” said the boatman with
“If there’s no other way, yes.”
“The other way is so frightening, Charles.”
“Is it?”
“You can’t understand how much.”
“More frightening than growing old? Than dying?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I suppose not. The only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t want you to get old, Charles.”
“But I won’t have to. Will I?”
He stared at her.
“No,” she said. “You won’t have to. Neither of us will.”
Phillips smiled. “We should get away from here,” he said after a while. “Let’s go across to Byzantium, yes, Gioia? We’ll show up in Constantinople for the opening. Your friends will be there. We’ll tell them what you’ve decided to do. They’ll know how to arrange it. Someone will.”
“It sounds so strange,” said Gioia. “To turn myself into—into a visitor? A visitor in my own world?”
“That’s what you’ve always been, though.”
“I suppose. In a way. But at least I’ve been real up to now.”
“Whereas I’m not?”
“Are you, Charles?”
“Yes. Just as real as you. I was angry at first, when I found out the truth about myself. But I came to accept it. Somewhere between Mohenjo and here, I came to see that it was all right to be what I am: that I perceive things, I form ideas, I draw conclusions. I am very well designed, Gioia. I can’t tell the difference between being what I am and being completely alive, and to me that’s being real enough. I think, I feel, I experience joy and pain. I’m as real as I need to be. And you will be, too. You’ll never stop being Gioia, you know. It’s only your body that you’ll cast away, the body that played such a terrible joke on you anyway.” He brushed her cheek with his hand. “It was all said for us before, long ago:
‘Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake—’ ”
“Is that the same poem?” she asked.
“The same poem, yes. The ancient poem that isn’t quite forgotten yet.”
“Finish it, Charles.”
—“Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.”
“How beautiful. What does it mean?”
“That it isn’t necessary to be mortal. That we can allow ourselves to be gathered into the artifice of eternity, that we can be transformed, that we can move on beyond the flesh. Yeats didn’t mean it in quite the way I do—he wouldn’t have begun to comprehend what we’re talking about, not a word of it—and yet, and yet—the underlying truth is the same. Live, Gioia! With me!” He turned to her and saw color coming into her pallid cheeks. “It does make sense, what I’m suggesting, doesn’t it? You’ll attempt it, won’t you? Whoever makes the visitors can be induced to remake you. Right? What do you think: can they, Gioia?”
She nodded in a barely perceptible way. “I think so,” she said faintly. “It’s very strange. But I think it ought to be possible. Why not, Charles? Why not?”
“Yes,” he said. “Why not?”
In the morning they hired a vessel in the harbor, a low sleek pirogue with a blood-red sail, skippered by a rascally-looking temporary whose smile was irresistible. Phillips shaded his eyes and peered northward across the sea. He thought he could almost make out the shape of the great city sprawling on its seven hills, Constantine’s New Rome beside the Golden Horn, the mighty dome of Hagia Sophia, the somber walls of the citadel, the palaces and churches, the Hippodrome, Christ in glory rising above all else in brilliant mosaic streaming with light.
“Byzantium,” Phillips said. “Take us there the shortest and quickest way.”
“It is my pleasure,” said the boatman with
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