scaffolding and survived; sailors were shipwrecked at sea but didn’t drown; children went hungry but didn’t starve. After this had been going on for some time, back down in Hell the Devil began to suspect something.
‘Haven’t had any new batches of souls recently,’ he muttered to himself. ‘Come to think of, we haven’t seen Death around for quite some time … not since I packed him off to fetch Old Mother Misery.’
So he decided to set off to find out for himself what was going on.
Now up on Earth everyone was dancing and singing and having fiestas right, left and centre because no one was dying any more, so it took the Devil quite a time to push his way through the crowds before he reached Old Mother Misery’s
mas
. There, to his surprise, he found Death sitting up in the pear tree.
‘What’s going on? Why aren’t you working?’
‘I’m stuck,’ said Death despondently, for he had been there a long time and was feeling very sore. ‘I can’t get down unless Old Mother Misery comes up to get me.’
Just at that moment, Old Mother Misery appeared. ‘Ah,’ she said when she saw the Devil. ‘I thought we might be getting a visit from you soon.’
‘What have you done to Death? I need him urgently. Release him from there at once or I’ll drag you down to Hell myself!’
‘How dare you talk like that to me!’ she said in a shriek. The Devil was taken aback for a moment: he wasn’t used to being shouted at. ‘This is my house,’ said Old Mother Misery, ‘and no one will tell me what to do.’
‘But I need Death,’ said the Devil, more humbly this time. ‘Everyone’s out having parties all the time, while the fires of Hell need stoking with new souls.’
‘I’ll only get Death down for you if you promise to leave me in peace and never come back.’
The Devil thought it over for a moment. He wasn’t actually sure if he wanted the old witch down in Hell with him anyway, so he agreed. Old Mother Misery climbed up the pear tree and released Death, and within a flash the two of them vanished, and were never seen at Old Mother Misery’s
mas
ever again.
And that is why Misery still walks the Earth. Although some say that one day, perhaps soon, Old Mother Misery will get tired of being so old and causing so much sadness in the world, and that she will pop off down to Hell of her own accord, for a long rest.
NOVEMBER
The Latin
November
is called
Tishrin el Tsani
in Syriac and
Azarmah
in Persian. It is the last month of autumn and is made up of thirty days. Now is the time for sowing wheat, oats, beans and flax: start sowing from the middle of the month if Allah has made it rain at that time: thirteen days thence around the time of the setting of the Pleiades, what has been sown will already have taken root. November is the month for collecting acorns, chestnuts, myrtle berries and sugar cane. According to the writer Azib, owing to the threat of frosts from this time onwards, the roots of trees and plants should be protected with fertiliser. This is also the time for harvesting saffron
.
The cold begins to reach certain areas, and the first snow falls. Starlings, swallows, pelicans and other birds start to migrate south. It is a good month for planting trees. The writer Abu al-Khayr says the sap in trees settles at this time, causing leaves to fall. In Seville I have seen round radishes and the local lettuce – with pointed leaves – planted, for picking in January, and spinach, for harvesting in December
.
Ibn al-Awam,
Kitab al-Falaha
, The Book of Agriculture, 12th century
FOUR AND A half thousand feet up a frozen mountain, I sat shivering in a school hall, waiting for the Third Annual Spanish Truffle Conference to begin. Huddled around an inadequate gas heater were three professors of ‘truffle-ology’, a handful of local farmers and Salud’s nephew and myself. Bizarrely, the tiny village where it was being held – an old Templar territory from the thirteenth century – had
‘Haven’t had any new batches of souls recently,’ he muttered to himself. ‘Come to think of, we haven’t seen Death around for quite some time … not since I packed him off to fetch Old Mother Misery.’
So he decided to set off to find out for himself what was going on.
Now up on Earth everyone was dancing and singing and having fiestas right, left and centre because no one was dying any more, so it took the Devil quite a time to push his way through the crowds before he reached Old Mother Misery’s
mas
. There, to his surprise, he found Death sitting up in the pear tree.
‘What’s going on? Why aren’t you working?’
‘I’m stuck,’ said Death despondently, for he had been there a long time and was feeling very sore. ‘I can’t get down unless Old Mother Misery comes up to get me.’
Just at that moment, Old Mother Misery appeared. ‘Ah,’ she said when she saw the Devil. ‘I thought we might be getting a visit from you soon.’
‘What have you done to Death? I need him urgently. Release him from there at once or I’ll drag you down to Hell myself!’
‘How dare you talk like that to me!’ she said in a shriek. The Devil was taken aback for a moment: he wasn’t used to being shouted at. ‘This is my house,’ said Old Mother Misery, ‘and no one will tell me what to do.’
‘But I need Death,’ said the Devil, more humbly this time. ‘Everyone’s out having parties all the time, while the fires of Hell need stoking with new souls.’
‘I’ll only get Death down for you if you promise to leave me in peace and never come back.’
The Devil thought it over for a moment. He wasn’t actually sure if he wanted the old witch down in Hell with him anyway, so he agreed. Old Mother Misery climbed up the pear tree and released Death, and within a flash the two of them vanished, and were never seen at Old Mother Misery’s
mas
ever again.
And that is why Misery still walks the Earth. Although some say that one day, perhaps soon, Old Mother Misery will get tired of being so old and causing so much sadness in the world, and that she will pop off down to Hell of her own accord, for a long rest.
NOVEMBER
The Latin
November
is called
Tishrin el Tsani
in Syriac and
Azarmah
in Persian. It is the last month of autumn and is made up of thirty days. Now is the time for sowing wheat, oats, beans and flax: start sowing from the middle of the month if Allah has made it rain at that time: thirteen days thence around the time of the setting of the Pleiades, what has been sown will already have taken root. November is the month for collecting acorns, chestnuts, myrtle berries and sugar cane. According to the writer Azib, owing to the threat of frosts from this time onwards, the roots of trees and plants should be protected with fertiliser. This is also the time for harvesting saffron
.
The cold begins to reach certain areas, and the first snow falls. Starlings, swallows, pelicans and other birds start to migrate south. It is a good month for planting trees. The writer Abu al-Khayr says the sap in trees settles at this time, causing leaves to fall. In Seville I have seen round radishes and the local lettuce – with pointed leaves – planted, for picking in January, and spinach, for harvesting in December
.
Ibn al-Awam,
Kitab al-Falaha
, The Book of Agriculture, 12th century
FOUR AND A half thousand feet up a frozen mountain, I sat shivering in a school hall, waiting for the Third Annual Spanish Truffle Conference to begin. Huddled around an inadequate gas heater were three professors of ‘truffle-ology’, a handful of local farmers and Salud’s nephew and myself. Bizarrely, the tiny village where it was being held – an old Templar territory from the thirteenth century – had
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