silent, and I knew he was waiting for me to continue to explain. Suddenly I felt foolish for even bringing up the subject, but it was too late to take it back.
“I thought you were just some egotistical ass who had to have control in order to function,” I confessed.
“I do,” he said with a smirk.
“Yes, but the truth is so different than what I imagined. You aren’t selfish when gaining that control. It’s actually very sexy.” I looked down at my lap, and almost instantly he lifted my chin with a finger, forcing me to look at him.
“What’s sexy is that you’re willingly give me that control. You trust me, and I know that wasn’t easy for you.” Even though I’d told him little about myself, somehow he’d picked up on the fact I’d been hurt. “I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want. I think you know that, or you wouldn’t have given in to me the way you have.” He cupped my jaw and arched my head up so he could bring his lips to mine. “And seeing you feel so free and submissive while knowing you are so fucking strong makes me want so much more than I imagined.”
“You make me feel safe.” I knew I should shut up, but being in Ashton’s presence made holding back my thoughts about him almost impossible.
“You are safe,” he whispered as he leaned in close and pressed his lips to mine. The knot that had begun to form in my throat quickly faded, but only for a moment before he pulled back, looking at me with curiosity.
“Tell me about your life,” he said as he lightly trailed his thumb over my jaw. “I wanna know everything about you.”
Panic set in as my mind began to race with thoughts of the things Jase had put me through and the weakness I had shown in not walking away.
I didn’t want Ashton to see that side of me, ever. I was too ashamed.
I couldn’t look at him. Not if I expected myself to lie.
“Not much to tell, really,” I said. “My life hasn’t been as fulfilling as yours, anyway.”
“I wouldn’t say fulfilling. Accomplished maybe, but not fulfilling.” He shrugged. “At least not until recently,” he teased as he ran his hand up my bare thigh.
I allowed him to toy with the lace of my panties, hoping he would get distracted and I would be given a way out of this conversation. But when he pulled his hand back and brought it to rest on my knee, I knew I had to continue.
“I grew up in Chicago, actually in a suburb called Buffalo Grove. I’m an only child, and both my parents still live there.” Each lie I told felt like a knife to my chest. Lying at work almost felt natural. Lying to my building manager didn’t faze me a bit. But lying to Ashton was hurting more than I ever thought it would.
“Are you close with your parents?” he asked.
“Yes.” I couldn’t elaborate any further. If I did, I would have caved. I could already feel the ache inside me growing. “After high school I went to UCLA for college,” I continued, completely skipping over anything further about my parents. I would have to revisit that lie when I had more strength because talking about them was still too hard.
“What made you settle here?” I could tell he was interested by the way he leaned against the back of the couch and propped his head up on his hand as he watched me closely.
“My cousin actually asked me to move here with her.” I once again looked away and toyed with the stem of my wineglass just before lifting it to distract myself and taking a sip. “But after I got here and got settled, she told me she’d met a guy and decided to move to New Jersey to be with him.”
Ashton chuckled, and for dramatic effect I looked over at him and rolled my eyes. “Yeah.”
“How kind of her,” he said before he too took a sip of his wine.
“I decided at that point that I might as well stay. I’d already landed a job, found a place to live, so why not give New York a shot? And to be honest, I just didn’t have it in me to move again.” I
“I thought you were just some egotistical ass who had to have control in order to function,” I confessed.
“I do,” he said with a smirk.
“Yes, but the truth is so different than what I imagined. You aren’t selfish when gaining that control. It’s actually very sexy.” I looked down at my lap, and almost instantly he lifted my chin with a finger, forcing me to look at him.
“What’s sexy is that you’re willingly give me that control. You trust me, and I know that wasn’t easy for you.” Even though I’d told him little about myself, somehow he’d picked up on the fact I’d been hurt. “I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want. I think you know that, or you wouldn’t have given in to me the way you have.” He cupped my jaw and arched my head up so he could bring his lips to mine. “And seeing you feel so free and submissive while knowing you are so fucking strong makes me want so much more than I imagined.”
“You make me feel safe.” I knew I should shut up, but being in Ashton’s presence made holding back my thoughts about him almost impossible.
“You are safe,” he whispered as he leaned in close and pressed his lips to mine. The knot that had begun to form in my throat quickly faded, but only for a moment before he pulled back, looking at me with curiosity.
“Tell me about your life,” he said as he lightly trailed his thumb over my jaw. “I wanna know everything about you.”
Panic set in as my mind began to race with thoughts of the things Jase had put me through and the weakness I had shown in not walking away.
I didn’t want Ashton to see that side of me, ever. I was too ashamed.
I couldn’t look at him. Not if I expected myself to lie.
“Not much to tell, really,” I said. “My life hasn’t been as fulfilling as yours, anyway.”
“I wouldn’t say fulfilling. Accomplished maybe, but not fulfilling.” He shrugged. “At least not until recently,” he teased as he ran his hand up my bare thigh.
I allowed him to toy with the lace of my panties, hoping he would get distracted and I would be given a way out of this conversation. But when he pulled his hand back and brought it to rest on my knee, I knew I had to continue.
“I grew up in Chicago, actually in a suburb called Buffalo Grove. I’m an only child, and both my parents still live there.” Each lie I told felt like a knife to my chest. Lying at work almost felt natural. Lying to my building manager didn’t faze me a bit. But lying to Ashton was hurting more than I ever thought it would.
“Are you close with your parents?” he asked.
“Yes.” I couldn’t elaborate any further. If I did, I would have caved. I could already feel the ache inside me growing. “After high school I went to UCLA for college,” I continued, completely skipping over anything further about my parents. I would have to revisit that lie when I had more strength because talking about them was still too hard.
“What made you settle here?” I could tell he was interested by the way he leaned against the back of the couch and propped his head up on his hand as he watched me closely.
“My cousin actually asked me to move here with her.” I once again looked away and toyed with the stem of my wineglass just before lifting it to distract myself and taking a sip. “But after I got here and got settled, she told me she’d met a guy and decided to move to New Jersey to be with him.”
Ashton chuckled, and for dramatic effect I looked over at him and rolled my eyes. “Yeah.”
“How kind of her,” he said before he too took a sip of his wine.
“I decided at that point that I might as well stay. I’d already landed a job, found a place to live, so why not give New York a shot? And to be honest, I just didn’t have it in me to move again.” I
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