Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss Page B

the act of self-examination itself can help you calm down. “The analysis itself tends to drain the emotion of its power because you are diverting the energy of the emotion to the conscious thinking process,” King explains.
    He also prescribes reprogramming as a technique to control your subconscious. “If you want to change the habitual thinking of the subconscious, you must consciously keep the desired pattern in the forefront of your mind until the subconscious has accepted it as a new habit.” This is why affirmations, as silly as they seem sometimes, can directly improve your success with women.
THE CONSCIOUS MIND
    To truly understand the conscious mind, it’s necessary to understand the nature of will power. The only real ability you have on a conscious level is the power to direct your awareness and attention to a thought or experience. This is what’s meant by “free will.”
    We can’t make a woman like us, make the boss give us a raise, or make that 1974 Ford Pinto start in the morning. “What we can do, however, is to choose to decide how we are going to respond to our experience of life, what we aregoing to do from this moment forward and in any future moment to change either ourselves or the circumstances,” King writes.
    King defines determination as “the continuous, conscious directing of attention and awareness toward a given end for a purpose.” And goals are achieved, he continues, “by continuously renewing the decisions or choices made to reach the given end, in spite of apparent obstacles and difficulties.”
    In other words, if one method does not work after repeated attempts, a determined person doesn’t give up. “He tries another, and then another, until he finds one that does work, even if it means he has to change himself.”
    The difference, King concludes, between those with strong will and those with weak will is that the strong decide to continue, while the weak quit. It’s important to remember this when the girl you’ve been talking to all night gives you a fake phone number, or you see a woman who just rejected your approach making out with some stranger. Failures and setbacks are fine. Deciding to quit is not.
GOALS AND PURPOSES
    King makes a distinction between achieving goals and fulfilling a purpose that is key to your self-improvement journey.
    The difference is that a purpose is “something that will give meaning to your whole life.” A goal simply measures progress toward your purpose—like the concrete results you wrote down for your personal mission statement.
    â€œUnlike a goal, a purpose is not something you reach but something you do,” King writes. “Goals without purpose are empty of meaning, while having a purpose can give meaning to any goal.”
    Elsewhere in his book, King provides countless other tools for improving your mental and emotional states. By using your mind to improve your life, you can build the confidence that is an absolutely vital component to being successful with women.
    As King suggests, “Look for the good in everything and, if you can’t find any, figure out a way to put some in.”

MISSION 1: Share Your Traits
    Write down eight qualities you want someone to know about you. These might include individuality, humor, trustworthiness, intelligence, artistic talent, or whatever else makes you stand out.
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MISSION 2: Find Your Stories
    Now you know what you want to convey. But how do you convey it?
    Welcome to storytelling day.
    Though most women tell guys that learning to listen is important, in the early stages of an interaction, learning to speak is more important. This is because it’s your job to demonstrate you’re worth spending the night talking to.
    Your vehicle for doing this is your past. Rather