Ruby on the Outside by Nora Raleigh Baskin Page B

shoes.
    â€œTell me, Ruby. What’s going on?”

Chapter Twenty-One
    Once upon a time, a long time ago, before I was born, there were two sisters who lived in an apartment alone with their mother; just three weeks earlier their dad had run off with another woman. So now it was just the three of them, and because the mom started spending a lot of time in bed, the older sister had to do a lot, like making meals and making beds and making sure the two sisters got to school on time.
    And the mother kept sleeping a lot.
    And then one morning the mother didn’t wake up forever.
    Since their dad was nowhere to be found and their mom was now gone, the two sisters went to live with strangers but at least they got to stay together. Things in that house of strangers were not always nice. But still, the older sister tried to keep things as normal as she could, as tight as she could, as controlled as she could. She vowed she would always take care of her little sister.
    But the world around them was out of control.
    And then the two sisters grew up. One stayed as close to the rules and limits as she could, pushing only the buttons she knew would work. The other sister, the younger one, kept running around, edging close to the limits, peeking over the top, pushing any button she could, as if she was trying to find the one that would wake up their mother that morning and make everything safe again.
    â€œThat was my mother?” I ask Matoo. “The younger sister?”
    â€œYes, sweetheart. That was your mother.” Matoo is still crouching with me on the bathroom floor. A few people have come and gone. They take one look at us, do their business, wash their hands and leave. No one seems to think it’s strange.
    Here, nothing is strange. No one is judged because everyone has been judged already.
    â€œAnd then after your real father—may God rest his soul.”
    â€œMy real father is dead?”
    â€œI have no idea, and neither does your mother. I’m just saying that out of disrespect.”
    â€œOh.”
    Matoo went on. “Anyway, after your biological father left, and your mother met Nick, well, we all thought things were going to be better for her. For both of you. Well, I never thought that. Your mother did. She was looking for a dream, Ruby, you have to understand. Nick was like her mother and father all rolled into one. He built things and planted things and took care of the house. And he brought her cups of tea with honey and cream. No one ever did anything like that for her before. She was afraid to lose him.”
    I look at Matoo. I know no one ever did anything like that for her, either.
    â€œSo I understand why she went with him that night,” Matoo said.
    â€œBut she left me,” I say.
    â€œI know, Ruby. She made a terrible mistake. I don’t think your mother ever understood how important she was to you. She didn’t think she was important to anyone. She felt worthless, and so to her, leaving you alone for what she thought would be a few minutes didn’t seem that important. I know it doesn’t make sense.”
    It did. I know what it’s like to think you are not important, not special. To think that what you do doesn’t matter or make a difference.
    â€œBut Nick was dangerous,” I prompted her.
    â€œHe was. And your mother knew it, right from the start. But it was like he was offering a drink of water and she was so terribly thirsty. She had been walking in the desert all her life.”
    â€œBut the water was poison.”
    â€œIt was.”
    We are both quiet for a while. I never really studied the underside of a row of industrial sinks before. It’s not real pretty.
    â€œI think we should go, Matoo,” I say.
    â€œAre you ready?”
    â€œJust one more thing.”
    â€œOf course.”
    â€œThe boy that died that night. Josh. Josh Tipps,” I begin.
    â€œYes?”
    â€œHis family would hate my mother,