laughter.
That was the good he wanted to do. With Victoria and Marnie gone, however, it felt like there was nothing else worth his time. He knew that wasn't true. He had a life before them, and he would have a life after.
He just wasn't sure that it was a life worth having.
CHAPTER SIX
The next day Marnie woke up to a deep throbbing in her head and a feeling as if her heart had been ripped to pieces and then put back together. For one happy moment, she thought she was sick and wondered if Philip would lie down with her a little longer. Then she woke up a little more and wished that she hadn't.
The problem with being a mother, she thought, was that life wouldn't ever really pause for her pain.
Even if she felt as if she wanted to lie down and never wake up again, she still had to go rouse Victoria from a dead sleep and get her ready for school. She had to cook breakfast, check her emails from her editor, and look into the summer programs that were being offered in the district. When she saw that they offered ballet and a few art classes, she winced. They would be adequate, and regardless Victoria would love them, but from an adult's perspective, she knew that they would be nowhere near as good as what Philip could provide.
Now that she had slept, Marnie realized that she wasn't angry anymore, not really. She could have tried to hang on to the rage, because at least it was better than feeling sad, but she knew it wasn't real anymore. She wasn't angry at Philip for not being the man or the relationship she needed, but she was sad about it. She was in pain, and she had to remember that that was what it really was. Otherwise, she risked it turning into a dark spot inside her, one that could grow to poison everything else around it.
"Mama, mama, look."
She looked down from making eggs to see Victoria holding up a picture. With a sinking heart, Marnie saw that it showed three figures, one tall, one medium sized, and one small. All three had dark, dark hair that Victoria had obviously created from pressing very hard on her black crayon, and while two of the figures had black eyes, the medium one had blue eyes like her own.
"It's a present for Philip," Victoria declared. "I made it for him so he can see how important he is."
She had done the same thing for Cassie and some of their other family friends, but she had never drawn them with herself and Marnie before. Any hope that Marnie had had about simply letting things go away on their own withered.
"Victoria, will you go sit down please? I'm just finishing up breakfast."
Victoria frowned. "I wasn't done showing you my picture yet," she protested.
"Victoria, now," Marnie said sternly.
With a wounded look, Victoria went to sit at the table, but the picture was left pointed next to her on the table. It was clear that she wished to tell her mother more about the picture, but Marnie didn't think that she could deal with that.
It's just like a Band-Aid , she thought. It is way better to simply rip it off, cry it out, and then get back to business …
"Victoria, that is a very nice picture, but I have to tell you something," she said as she brought their plates to the table.
Victoria, who had always been exquisitely sensitive when it came to her mother's feelings, began to look anxious before anything had even been said.
"What is it? What's the matter?"
"Philip is a very good friend of ours, but … but he won't be coming around for a while, okay?"
To Marnie's dismay, Victoria's dark eyes went wide. "Why?" she asked, her voice as high as a wounded bird's. "Why? What did I do?"
Marnie gasped as if someone had punched her in the throat. "Nothing! Nothing, sweetie, I swear to you! This isn't a punishment or anything like that, I promise! You did nothing wrong!"
"If I didn't do anything wrong, why did he leave?" Victoria demanded.
Marnie bit her lip. She could feel the world shifting underneath her. Victoria was young, but she wasn't too young to simply let some
That was the good he wanted to do. With Victoria and Marnie gone, however, it felt like there was nothing else worth his time. He knew that wasn't true. He had a life before them, and he would have a life after.
He just wasn't sure that it was a life worth having.
CHAPTER SIX
The next day Marnie woke up to a deep throbbing in her head and a feeling as if her heart had been ripped to pieces and then put back together. For one happy moment, she thought she was sick and wondered if Philip would lie down with her a little longer. Then she woke up a little more and wished that she hadn't.
The problem with being a mother, she thought, was that life wouldn't ever really pause for her pain.
Even if she felt as if she wanted to lie down and never wake up again, she still had to go rouse Victoria from a dead sleep and get her ready for school. She had to cook breakfast, check her emails from her editor, and look into the summer programs that were being offered in the district. When she saw that they offered ballet and a few art classes, she winced. They would be adequate, and regardless Victoria would love them, but from an adult's perspective, she knew that they would be nowhere near as good as what Philip could provide.
Now that she had slept, Marnie realized that she wasn't angry anymore, not really. She could have tried to hang on to the rage, because at least it was better than feeling sad, but she knew it wasn't real anymore. She wasn't angry at Philip for not being the man or the relationship she needed, but she was sad about it. She was in pain, and she had to remember that that was what it really was. Otherwise, she risked it turning into a dark spot inside her, one that could grow to poison everything else around it.
"Mama, mama, look."
She looked down from making eggs to see Victoria holding up a picture. With a sinking heart, Marnie saw that it showed three figures, one tall, one medium sized, and one small. All three had dark, dark hair that Victoria had obviously created from pressing very hard on her black crayon, and while two of the figures had black eyes, the medium one had blue eyes like her own.
"It's a present for Philip," Victoria declared. "I made it for him so he can see how important he is."
She had done the same thing for Cassie and some of their other family friends, but she had never drawn them with herself and Marnie before. Any hope that Marnie had had about simply letting things go away on their own withered.
"Victoria, will you go sit down please? I'm just finishing up breakfast."
Victoria frowned. "I wasn't done showing you my picture yet," she protested.
"Victoria, now," Marnie said sternly.
With a wounded look, Victoria went to sit at the table, but the picture was left pointed next to her on the table. It was clear that she wished to tell her mother more about the picture, but Marnie didn't think that she could deal with that.
It's just like a Band-Aid , she thought. It is way better to simply rip it off, cry it out, and then get back to business …
"Victoria, that is a very nice picture, but I have to tell you something," she said as she brought their plates to the table.
Victoria, who had always been exquisitely sensitive when it came to her mother's feelings, began to look anxious before anything had even been said.
"What is it? What's the matter?"
"Philip is a very good friend of ours, but … but he won't be coming around for a while, okay?"
To Marnie's dismay, Victoria's dark eyes went wide. "Why?" she asked, her voice as high as a wounded bird's. "Why? What did I do?"
Marnie gasped as if someone had punched her in the throat. "Nothing! Nothing, sweetie, I swear to you! This isn't a punishment or anything like that, I promise! You did nothing wrong!"
"If I didn't do anything wrong, why did he leave?" Victoria demanded.
Marnie bit her lip. She could feel the world shifting underneath her. Victoria was young, but she wasn't too young to simply let some
Similar Books
