teeth. “If you want to use The Smoke, you have to have a
loa
stick, a spirit stick. Every
houngan
has one, so that he can draw symbols in ashes to summon the spirits. I guess you could say that it’s the voodoo equivalent to a magician’s wand. It has to be carved from a ghost oak, from Western Africa, and it has to be carved from a ghost oak which grows in a cemetery … a tree that’s been nourished on human flesh.
“Without his
loa
stick, your new friend will still be able to leave his body, as we
all
can, but he won’t be able to call on the spirits to help him, which means that he won’t have the power to hurt anybody in the physical world.”
“So what do you suggest we do?”
“As I say, there’s no alternative. We have to take it away from him.”
“But how the hell do we do that? We can’t exactly break into his apartment and go rummaging through his closets, can we?”
Mrs Vaizey looked up at him and her expression was deadly serious. “Not in the flesh,” she said. “But we can do as he does, and leave our bodies, and visit him as ghosts.”
Jim said, “Come on, Mrs Vaizey. This is beginning to leave the ground.”
“But it’s true. Everybody can leave their body, if they wish. You did, when you nearly died, and you almost didn’t come back.”
“All right, let’s say for the sake of argument that it’s possible. But even if it’s possible, how do you do it?”
“I’ll teach you, if you like. But you won’t have to, not this time. If you tell me exactly where this Umber Jones man lives,
I’ll
do it.”
“Is it dangerous? I can’t let you do it if it’s dangerous.”
Mrs Vaizey gave him the briefest flicker of a smile. “Yes, Jim, it’s dangerous. But life is dangerous, and we don’t stay in bed all day, frightened to go out, just in case an airplane falls on our head, or the ground opens up underneath our feet.”
“Look, if there’s any risk at all, I’d rather do it myself.”
“
No
,” she said, with surprising firmness. “If your friend were to find you when you were out of your body, you wouldn’t stand a chance. You don’t try to do your own wiring, do you? You call an electrician. This is one job that you ought to leave to a professional.”
“Well … if you say so,” said Jim. “But I can’t say that I’m too happy about it. When do you want to do it? Tomorrow maybe?”
“Tonight.
Now.
The sooner the better.”
Chapter Six
Mrs Vaizey prowled around Jim’s apartment, sniffing the air and rearranging books and ornaments.
“Which way’s east?” she asked.
“Er … that way.”
“East is very important. All evil spirits come from the east. You don’t mind if I use your couch, do you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then go down to my apartment, go into the kitchen, and open up the left-hand cupboard. You’ll find two brass incense-burners inside, and a pack of incense. Bring them up here, and we’ll see what we can do for you.”
Jim said, “How do you know all of this voodoo stuff? I knew you read horoscopes, but I never realised that you were into black magic, too.”
Mrs Vaizey went over to the couch, picked up a newspaper that was sprawled across it, and rearranged the cushions. “I wasn’t always an old lady living in a low-rent apartment block in Venice, you know. My father used to work for the State Department. I spent most of my girlhood in France and Morocco, and a year-and-a-half in Haiti. We had a Haitian housemaid who taught me all about the
loa.
There is Legba, who seduces women; and Ogoun Ferraille, who looks after men when they are fighting; and Erzulie, the spirit of purity and love. Then of course there is Baron Samedi, who devours the dead.
“By the way,” Mrs Vaizey admonished him, “you mustn’t call it ‘black magic’. It has some of the same rituals as black magic, like sacrificing chickens. But it’s a mixture of Fon culture and Roman Catholicism, and it has the power of both.”
Jim said, “I’ll go
loa
stick, a spirit stick. Every
houngan
has one, so that he can draw symbols in ashes to summon the spirits. I guess you could say that it’s the voodoo equivalent to a magician’s wand. It has to be carved from a ghost oak, from Western Africa, and it has to be carved from a ghost oak which grows in a cemetery … a tree that’s been nourished on human flesh.
“Without his
loa
stick, your new friend will still be able to leave his body, as we
all
can, but he won’t be able to call on the spirits to help him, which means that he won’t have the power to hurt anybody in the physical world.”
“So what do you suggest we do?”
“As I say, there’s no alternative. We have to take it away from him.”
“But how the hell do we do that? We can’t exactly break into his apartment and go rummaging through his closets, can we?”
Mrs Vaizey looked up at him and her expression was deadly serious. “Not in the flesh,” she said. “But we can do as he does, and leave our bodies, and visit him as ghosts.”
Jim said, “Come on, Mrs Vaizey. This is beginning to leave the ground.”
“But it’s true. Everybody can leave their body, if they wish. You did, when you nearly died, and you almost didn’t come back.”
“All right, let’s say for the sake of argument that it’s possible. But even if it’s possible, how do you do it?”
“I’ll teach you, if you like. But you won’t have to, not this time. If you tell me exactly where this Umber Jones man lives,
I’ll
do it.”
“Is it dangerous? I can’t let you do it if it’s dangerous.”
Mrs Vaizey gave him the briefest flicker of a smile. “Yes, Jim, it’s dangerous. But life is dangerous, and we don’t stay in bed all day, frightened to go out, just in case an airplane falls on our head, or the ground opens up underneath our feet.”
“Look, if there’s any risk at all, I’d rather do it myself.”
“
No
,” she said, with surprising firmness. “If your friend were to find you when you were out of your body, you wouldn’t stand a chance. You don’t try to do your own wiring, do you? You call an electrician. This is one job that you ought to leave to a professional.”
“Well … if you say so,” said Jim. “But I can’t say that I’m too happy about it. When do you want to do it? Tomorrow maybe?”
“Tonight.
Now.
The sooner the better.”
Chapter Six
Mrs Vaizey prowled around Jim’s apartment, sniffing the air and rearranging books and ornaments.
“Which way’s east?” she asked.
“Er … that way.”
“East is very important. All evil spirits come from the east. You don’t mind if I use your couch, do you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then go down to my apartment, go into the kitchen, and open up the left-hand cupboard. You’ll find two brass incense-burners inside, and a pack of incense. Bring them up here, and we’ll see what we can do for you.”
Jim said, “How do you know all of this voodoo stuff? I knew you read horoscopes, but I never realised that you were into black magic, too.”
Mrs Vaizey went over to the couch, picked up a newspaper that was sprawled across it, and rearranged the cushions. “I wasn’t always an old lady living in a low-rent apartment block in Venice, you know. My father used to work for the State Department. I spent most of my girlhood in France and Morocco, and a year-and-a-half in Haiti. We had a Haitian housemaid who taught me all about the
loa.
There is Legba, who seduces women; and Ogoun Ferraille, who looks after men when they are fighting; and Erzulie, the spirit of purity and love. Then of course there is Baron Samedi, who devours the dead.
“By the way,” Mrs Vaizey admonished him, “you mustn’t call it ‘black magic’. It has some of the same rituals as black magic, like sacrificing chickens. But it’s a mixture of Fon culture and Roman Catholicism, and it has the power of both.”
Jim said, “I’ll go
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