started, “Honey, you haven’t been—”
She didn’t finish. This was because
a brouhaha was commencing. That was to say, Sadie’s loud voice was coming at us
and she was being sarcastic and bitchy.
Not good.
Indy and I looked that way to see
Sadie was into it with some woman who Sadie clearly did not like.
“Here we go,” Indy murmured and
looked at me.
I threw her a grin and did what we
Rock Chicks always did.
Got close to a Rock-Chick-in-need
in order to take her back.
And I was right. As the events
unfolded, one after the other, it became clear something was still very wrong
with Sadie. It wasn’t that she wanted that outed. It was just that what
happened gave her no choice. Being recently raped and consistently traumatized
by four criminally insane brothers (literally, to all of that), it was time for the lid to be blown off.
And blow off it did.
It happened after Hector lost his
mind when we all learned Sadie was secretly planning to move to Greece (Greece!
What the fuck?) and he dragged her to her office.
No, that wasn’t right. It happened
after what happened in her office leaked out into the hall when Sadie came
rushing out.
“ I’m protecting you! ” Sadie screamed at Hector, “Don’t you get it?
I’m protecting you!”
My head whipped around to the
hall, and at her tone, my body went tight.
She went on screeching.
“You deserve better than me,
Hector Chavez! You’re a good man from a good family surrounded by good people.
My father was a Drug King. He kills people! It’s what I am, he made me. And Ricky Balducci raped and
brutalized me. You know it. You saw it. You
were even there! You saw me! You told me you’d never forget. You saw me!
You’re better than that and I know it. You deserve more than that. You don’t
think you do but you’ve got a tattoo on you that reminds you to think with your
head, not your body. I don’t want to be the next tattoo you get when you learn
your lesson one day and realize what you’ve done. That you could have had
better. That you could have had more. That you could have someone good and
clean and right. Someone who belongs at your side. Not someone vile and ugly
and tawdry and used that you should have never, ever, ever settled for!”
I watched, my heart bleeding at her
words, as she yanked free of Hector and started running.
“Don’t follow me,” she shouted
over her shoulder. She stopped and turned. “ Don’t! ”
she shrieked in a voice so shrill, it lacerated me.
My throat closed and I was
weirdly paralyzed as others sprung into action when Sadie made a desperate dash
through the gallery, grabbed something from a drawer and took off.
God, I fucking hated it when the Rock Chick Drama
entered this stage. When the raw thing the Rock Chick was hiding was exposed in
all its hideousness and we got to see inside to what we were actually battling.
Not that something like that
happened every time. Not that I was there to witness it every time it happened.
But I still hated it, whether I saw it or heard about it.
I was good at giving one-liners,
making people laugh, giving support in my way. I could be gentle with the
honesty. And I was always there, no matter what, no matter when, if they needed
me.
But I had no healing hand, like
Jules did (because she was a cool chick, but also a social worker). Or like Jet
did (because she was shy, quiet and sweet and had a way about her). Or like
Daisy did (because she had so much love, it leaked out of her pores and you
couldn’t help but feel better if it leaked on you).
So I had not only not made amends
for being a bitch to Sadie, I had nothing to give to her right now. I didn’t
have the skills to get in there and make her see she was not even close to the things she saw in herself.
And that killed me.
“Ally.”
My head jerked at that familiar,
deep, sweet voice and I looked up at Ren.
He was staring down at me looking
gorgeous and worried.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No,” I
She didn’t finish. This was because
a brouhaha was commencing. That was to say, Sadie’s loud voice was coming at us
and she was being sarcastic and bitchy.
Not good.
Indy and I looked that way to see
Sadie was into it with some woman who Sadie clearly did not like.
“Here we go,” Indy murmured and
looked at me.
I threw her a grin and did what we
Rock Chicks always did.
Got close to a Rock-Chick-in-need
in order to take her back.
And I was right. As the events
unfolded, one after the other, it became clear something was still very wrong
with Sadie. It wasn’t that she wanted that outed. It was just that what
happened gave her no choice. Being recently raped and consistently traumatized
by four criminally insane brothers (literally, to all of that), it was time for the lid to be blown off.
And blow off it did.
It happened after Hector lost his
mind when we all learned Sadie was secretly planning to move to Greece (Greece!
What the fuck?) and he dragged her to her office.
No, that wasn’t right. It happened
after what happened in her office leaked out into the hall when Sadie came
rushing out.
“ I’m protecting you! ” Sadie screamed at Hector, “Don’t you get it?
I’m protecting you!”
My head whipped around to the
hall, and at her tone, my body went tight.
She went on screeching.
“You deserve better than me,
Hector Chavez! You’re a good man from a good family surrounded by good people.
My father was a Drug King. He kills people! It’s what I am, he made me. And Ricky Balducci raped and
brutalized me. You know it. You saw it. You
were even there! You saw me! You told me you’d never forget. You saw me!
You’re better than that and I know it. You deserve more than that. You don’t
think you do but you’ve got a tattoo on you that reminds you to think with your
head, not your body. I don’t want to be the next tattoo you get when you learn
your lesson one day and realize what you’ve done. That you could have had
better. That you could have had more. That you could have someone good and
clean and right. Someone who belongs at your side. Not someone vile and ugly
and tawdry and used that you should have never, ever, ever settled for!”
I watched, my heart bleeding at her
words, as she yanked free of Hector and started running.
“Don’t follow me,” she shouted
over her shoulder. She stopped and turned. “ Don’t! ”
she shrieked in a voice so shrill, it lacerated me.
My throat closed and I was
weirdly paralyzed as others sprung into action when Sadie made a desperate dash
through the gallery, grabbed something from a drawer and took off.
God, I fucking hated it when the Rock Chick Drama
entered this stage. When the raw thing the Rock Chick was hiding was exposed in
all its hideousness and we got to see inside to what we were actually battling.
Not that something like that
happened every time. Not that I was there to witness it every time it happened.
But I still hated it, whether I saw it or heard about it.
I was good at giving one-liners,
making people laugh, giving support in my way. I could be gentle with the
honesty. And I was always there, no matter what, no matter when, if they needed
me.
But I had no healing hand, like
Jules did (because she was a cool chick, but also a social worker). Or like Jet
did (because she was shy, quiet and sweet and had a way about her). Or like
Daisy did (because she had so much love, it leaked out of her pores and you
couldn’t help but feel better if it leaked on you).
So I had not only not made amends
for being a bitch to Sadie, I had nothing to give to her right now. I didn’t
have the skills to get in there and make her see she was not even close to the things she saw in herself.
And that killed me.
“Ally.”
My head jerked at that familiar,
deep, sweet voice and I looked up at Ren.
He was staring down at me looking
gorgeous and worried.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No,” I
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