Risking Trust by Adrienne Giordano Page B

when she’d wasted so much time wondering. Not when her emotional state was already being tested with her father’s death. “Don’t do this to me. You married her .”
    Michael stayed seated, his eyes tracking her as she paced the room trying to get rid of the anger and hurt devouring her. She could use a good long run about now. And could he please stop staring at her?
    “Rox, I know I was the one that left, but you were in my system. I tried to hide it, but she knew. We saw you and Janie in a restaurant one night. It was after you’d gotten back from Philadelphia and I couldn’t stop looking at you. You were right there and I couldn’t help myself. It was the longest hour of my life. I could have walked over to you and begged forgiveness, or I could have stayed with Alicia, who, at the time, had been good for me. I was finally faced with choosing. Then she asked me who you were and I told her your name. I didn’t give her the details, but she found out. She asked around, I guess. We were engaged by then. She wasn’t stupid and knew from that night in the restaurant I hadn’t gotten over you. But I’d made a commitment to her. Regardless, I don’t think she ever shook the feeling of being my second choice. After we got married, things were good for awhile, but everything started coming apart. When she drank, her need for male attention worsened and that’s when I knew she was on the prowl.”
    Roxann could not believe it. “She knew I was seeing Neil and having an affair with him was what, revenge? Against me ?”
    Michael lifted a shoulder. “Mostly, it was for my benefit. She was punishing me for missing you. She wanted me to know that Findley had you and now he’d had her. The fact that it might hurt you was a bonus.”
    “A bonus,” Roxann said, her voice thick with trapped tension.
    He held up his hands. “By that time, she’d turned into someone I didn’t know.”
    She threw her hands in the air. “And you married this woman?”
    Instead of me.
    She wouldn’t dare say it though. Never. He’d made his choice and now he had to live with it. This woman had been his wife . The person he’d chosen to share his life with had humiliated him. Taken other men to their bed.
    He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the floor. Uncomfortable. Well, too bad.
    “She was different when we first met. Bold and adventurous. Always on the edge.”
    I’m not any of those things.
    He looked up at her again and she stopped moving. “At the time, if I couldn’t have you, I thought she would be what I needed.”
    What the hell did that mean? “And what? She was the anti -Roxann? That’s what you’re telling me?”
    He nodded. “I wouldn’t call it that, but yes, she was different and I didn’t have any reminders. In the beginning, we had fun. The fun ended when we got into the day to day of marriage. I was working a lot. She wanted me, but I wanted to build my business. So, in that sense, maybe I wasn’t attentive enough. Three years in, she had her first one-night stand. She marched in at dawn and informed me she’d fucked—her word, not mine—some guy from the benefit she’d attended.”
    “Good God.”
    Michael shook his head. “Yeah. That’s when things went south. I forgave her though. I believed she was lonely and took it as an act of rebellion. I tried spending more time at home, was attentive to the point where it physically drained me and it still wasn’t enough. There was no making her happy at that point.”
    A knock sounded on the door, and Michael answered it and came away with two bags. Dinner. Fabulous. As if she could eat. He brought the food to the table and set it in a corner.
    “I screwed up. I’m thirty-nine years old and—” he pointed to the folder, “—that’s what my marriage became. The only reason I showed it to you was because I didn’t want you to get slammed. I wanted to at least try and explain it. Be pissed if you want, but that’s the