time the Number One House Rule's been broke this afternoon. Will
don't really count, o' course, him bein' a pote and all, not like a regular
humern bean. But now, this here swab—what's yer alias, bub?" His small
porcine eyes suddenly bored into Magnan's.
"Uh, as to that,"
Magnan gobbled, "one wonders by what authority—I mean to say, while I have
nothing to hide, of course, it happens that at the moment I am engaged on a
most sensitive operation, and both honor and custom require that I decline to
disclose that datum to one of your stripe, sir, in the absence of competent
authorization, that is." He turned to Retief with an earnest expression.
"What sort of place is this?" he almost wailed. "Somehow," he confided, "it
gives me the creeps. Everything seems so ... so, well, I don't really know how
to describe it, but my hair is attempting to stand on end. Let's go." He
broke off to peer anxiously around. "A moment ago—" he began and fell
silent.
"It's all right,
sir," Retief reassured him. "Or, it's not exactly 'all right,' but
it's not immediately disastrous."
"The disaster comes
later, eh?" Magnan queried, still nervous. He looked distastefully at
Henry.
"Where did the ladies
go?" he wondered aloud. "And who is this ... ah ..."
"Henry," Retief
put in, "may I present Mr. Magnan of the Econ Section. Mr. Magnan, Big
Henry, also known as Sir Henry, and Lord Shivingston, as well as King
Hank."
Magnan extended a shaky
palm. "Honored, Your Majesty," he managed. "God Lord,
Retief," he interrupted himself. "Why didn't you tell me? I'd have
observed proper protocol."
"Didn't want to risk a
fall when you backed into the Presence," Retief told the senior diplomat.
"In what way, Your
royal Majesty, may I be of service?" Magnan inquired in his most unctious
tone.
"Say, Retief,"
Henry addressed his guest, sotto voce, "you sure this here guy is a
shipmate o' yours? Sounds like a spy to me. And you shunt of said about the
boys electing me king and all."
"Hardly, Your Imperial
Highness," Magnan objected, "and I do hope I have got your style
right. A diplomatic member of an Embassy staff would hardly stoop to
espionage!"
"Well, if Retief says
you're OK, Bub, you're OK with me. Now, I was just tryna tell the boys here,
about the Club. See, one o' the first Terries in here, a couple hunnert years
back, was a big Swede, Captain Larson, and natcherly he had his own idears, all
about the olden times, and he was one tough hombre, I guess, and he printed his
old-time Swedes and all on the place so they still stick. Me and Willy together
never got 'em all cleared out; but we got a good bunch here now; we all work
together at a what you might say is a compromise set-up. Course, you fellers
are welcome to add a few choice items o' your own, if you got the loose-nation
power to make it stick. Now, you, Bill, you was objecting to the knife fights
and all—so what I say is, who needs em? See? We aim to make a feller feel at
home."
"We got a few house
rules, like no nood dames—ner no nood guys, neither. One time we hadda pair
here, name of Ralphie and Dood, had the whole place steamed up, something you
call a sharrom, whatever that is, where some guys they call Rams hang out, and
all. Hadda throw 'em out. Ralphie and Dood, I mean, not these Rams. But mostly
we get along good. Jest don't expect to be able to override me nor Willy: we
got the strongest loose-nations here, especially Willy, eh, Willy?" Henry
looked knowingly at the half-bald pote, who nodded dreamily.
"Tis passing
strange," he commented. "I dreamt of days to come—and in the instant
here was I, amid
don't really count, o' course, him bein' a pote and all, not like a regular
humern bean. But now, this here swab—what's yer alias, bub?" His small
porcine eyes suddenly bored into Magnan's.
"Uh, as to that,"
Magnan gobbled, "one wonders by what authority—I mean to say, while I have
nothing to hide, of course, it happens that at the moment I am engaged on a
most sensitive operation, and both honor and custom require that I decline to
disclose that datum to one of your stripe, sir, in the absence of competent
authorization, that is." He turned to Retief with an earnest expression.
"What sort of place is this?" he almost wailed. "Somehow," he confided, "it
gives me the creeps. Everything seems so ... so, well, I don't really know how
to describe it, but my hair is attempting to stand on end. Let's go." He
broke off to peer anxiously around. "A moment ago—" he began and fell
silent.
"It's all right,
sir," Retief reassured him. "Or, it's not exactly 'all right,' but
it's not immediately disastrous."
"The disaster comes
later, eh?" Magnan queried, still nervous. He looked distastefully at
Henry.
"Where did the ladies
go?" he wondered aloud. "And who is this ... ah ..."
"Henry," Retief
put in, "may I present Mr. Magnan of the Econ Section. Mr. Magnan, Big
Henry, also known as Sir Henry, and Lord Shivingston, as well as King
Hank."
Magnan extended a shaky
palm. "Honored, Your Majesty," he managed. "God Lord,
Retief," he interrupted himself. "Why didn't you tell me? I'd have
observed proper protocol."
"Didn't want to risk a
fall when you backed into the Presence," Retief told the senior diplomat.
"In what way, Your
royal Majesty, may I be of service?" Magnan inquired in his most unctious
tone.
"Say, Retief,"
Henry addressed his guest, sotto voce, "you sure this here guy is a
shipmate o' yours? Sounds like a spy to me. And you shunt of said about the
boys electing me king and all."
"Hardly, Your Imperial
Highness," Magnan objected, "and I do hope I have got your style
right. A diplomatic member of an Embassy staff would hardly stoop to
espionage!"
"Well, if Retief says
you're OK, Bub, you're OK with me. Now, I was just tryna tell the boys here,
about the Club. See, one o' the first Terries in here, a couple hunnert years
back, was a big Swede, Captain Larson, and natcherly he had his own idears, all
about the olden times, and he was one tough hombre, I guess, and he printed his
old-time Swedes and all on the place so they still stick. Me and Willy together
never got 'em all cleared out; but we got a good bunch here now; we all work
together at a what you might say is a compromise set-up. Course, you fellers
are welcome to add a few choice items o' your own, if you got the loose-nation
power to make it stick. Now, you, Bill, you was objecting to the knife fights
and all—so what I say is, who needs em? See? We aim to make a feller feel at
home."
"We got a few house
rules, like no nood dames—ner no nood guys, neither. One time we hadda pair
here, name of Ralphie and Dood, had the whole place steamed up, something you
call a sharrom, whatever that is, where some guys they call Rams hang out, and
all. Hadda throw 'em out. Ralphie and Dood, I mean, not these Rams. But mostly
we get along good. Jest don't expect to be able to override me nor Willy: we
got the strongest loose-nations here, especially Willy, eh, Willy?" Henry
looked knowingly at the half-bald pote, who nodded dreamily.
"Tis passing
strange," he commented. "I dreamt of days to come—and in the instant
here was I, amid
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