large Bob Dylan poster.
âClaire?â
âGo away!â she shouted. âI donât want to talk to you!â The record player went on: the Yardbirds, and at top volume.
Mom came back about an hour laterâa pretty long visit just to drop off a gift of foodâand although Terry and I were in the living room by then, watching TV and jostling each other for the best place on our old couch (in the middle, where the springs didnât poke your bum), she barely seemed to notice us. Con was upstairs playing the guitar heâd gotten for his birthday. And singing.
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David Thomas of Gates Falls Congo was back for a return engagement on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. The church was once more full, maybe because people wanted to see if Reverend Jacobs would show up and try to say some more awful things. He didnât. If he had, Iâm sure he would have been shut up before he got a running start, maybe even carried out bodily. Yankees take their religion seriously.
The next day, Monday, I ran the quarter mile from school instead of walking. I had an idea, and I wanted to be home before the schoolbus arrived. When it came, I grabbed Con and pulled him into the backyard.
âWho put a bug up your butt?â he asked.
âYou need to come down to the parsonage with me,â I said. âReverend Jacobs is going away pretty soon, maybe even tomorrow, and we should see him before he goes. We should tell him we still like him.â
Con drew away from me, brushing his hand down the front of his Ivy League shirt, as if he was afraid Iâd left cooties on it. âAre you crazy? Iâm not doing that. He said thereâs no God.â
âHe also electrified your throat and saved your voice.â
Con shrugged uneasily. âIt would have come back, anyway. Dr. Renault said so.â
âHe said it would come back in a week or two. That was in February. You still didnât have it back in April. Two months later. â
âSo what? It took a little longer, thatâs all.â
I couldnât believe what I was hearing. âWhat are you, chicken?â
âSay that again and Iâll knock you down.â
âWhy wonât you at least say thanks?â
He stared at me, mouth tight and cheeks red. âWeâre not supposed to see him, Mom and Dad said so. Heâs crazy, and probably a drunk like his wife.â
I couldnât speak. My eyes shimmered with tears. They werenât of sorrow; those were tears of rage.
âBesides,â Con said, âI have to fill the woodbox before Dad gets home or Iâll get in dutch. So just shut up about it, Jamie.â
He left me standing there. My brother, who became one of the worldâs most preeminent astronomersâin 2011 he discovered the fourth so-called âGoldilocks planet,â where there might be lifeâleft me standing there. And never mentioned Charles Jacobs again.
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The next day, Tuesday, I ran up Route 9 again as soon as school let out. But I didnât go home.
There was a new car in the parsonage driveway. Well, not really new; it was a â58 Ford Fairlane with rust on the rocker panels and a crack in the passenger side window. The trunk was up, and when I peeped in, I saw two suitcases and a bulky electronic gadget Reverend Jacobs had demonstrated at MYF one Thursday night: an oscilloscope. Jacobs himself was in his shed workshop. I could hear stuff rattling around.
I stood by his new-old car, thinking of the Belvedere, which was now a burned-out wreck, and I almost turned tail and beat feet for home. I wonder how much of my life would have been different if Iâd done that. I wonder if Iâd be writing this now. Thereâs no way of telling, is there? Saint Paul was all too right about that dark glass. We look through it all our days and see nothing but our own reflections.
Instead of running, I gathered
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