we sit and talk.
It’s platonic, completely, and yet I don’t mention it to Adam because I don’t want to start another fight. But it helps to have Tyler to talk to. We can talk about our childhoods and laugh at our parents, and the more I do it, the more I take the time to remember about how I was raised and how I grew up, the more the tiny mismatched apartment doesn’t seem nearly as bad.
It’s beginning to feel more like home every day.
“We’re here.”
I turn to Adam and smile. We’re both dressed in running shorts and tank tops and the early summer weather in Colorado is finally nice enough to do some hiking. Which is what I insisted on today. Although, as I look at the entrance to the State Park, I frown.
“I thought we were going to the cliffs.”
Adam shakes his head and opens the door to his car. “This place is better.”
“No place is better than the cliffs,” I argue half-heartedly, but I’m already climbing out of the car and waiting for Adam to grab the backpack full of food out of his car.
“Just wait,” he says, and holds out his hand. I take it easily because it’s becoming easier to be around him.
It doesn’t help me understand much of who I am anymore, but slowly I’m beginning to think that it may not matter how I became this girl. Because admittedly, being with Adam and enjoying my job at Hooka’s is a lot less stressful than I ever remember my life before being.
We walk the slow climbing hiking path, holding hands, but speaking very little. It’s the first hike I’ve been on since my casts came off and I’m content to enjoy the walk, the weather, and the company in silence.
The weather is perfect, there isn’t a cloud in the sky, and we follow a path that dances around a small creek where small bright yellow flowers grow along the edges. This is everything I love about Colorado.
Some people love the snow-skiing, which can’t be beat, or the city with its never ending list of concerts and nightlife and sporting events. But give me a creek filled with the cold mountain water, a bright blue sky, and the fresh air that always seems to have a slightly chilled bite as you breathe it in and I’m in heaven.
“Oh my …” My voice trails off as Adam leads me off the path and stops at the top of a small mountain crest. We’re far below the tree line, but my eyes are wide eyed in amazement at the small area of rocky hot springs below us.
A light mist or fog escapes from the water and drifts upward, evaporating into the chilly air. The water is so calm it reflects the bright blue sky, making the water seem as blue as a pool in someone’s back yard.
It’s magnificent.
“Cool, right?” Adam says, and tugs my hand down onto the blanket he packed in his backpack. I snort at his word choice. This is beyond cool. This is an incredible, breathtaking, and heaven all wrapped up in a private party of two.
“How did you find this place?”
I can’t seem to pull my eyes off the rocks and the water below us to the man next to me. My voice sounds dazed. I feel dazed.
“We found it last summer. Zander and Kelsey like to come here.”
I make a face and reluctantly pull my eyes to his. His knees are bent and his arms are wrapped around them, one hand lightly holding on to the wrist of his other arm.
He doesn’t watch me take him in, but I do, and I see all of him. His slightly crooked nose, deep set honey colored eyes that have the ability to light up like the sun and turn as dark as mud, striking cheekbones, and his unshaved scruff that I long to run a fingernail across to see if the brief memories I’ve had of him kissing me are true.
Will I still feel him on my skin even when he isn’t there?
I linger on him, breathing him in, and revel in the fact that I know he’s letting me look. I can see his pulse thumping at the bottom of his neck as he stretches it to the left and right, popping it before he stays still again, and bites the inside of his bottom lip.
I can’t
Laura Lippman
Clive James
Kekla Magoon
Danielle Paige
Daniel Woodrell
Vera Roberts
Alice Raine
Leigh Russell
Morgana Best
Robert Whitlow