Rekindle The Flames (The Men of CLE-FD Book 4) by Toye Lawson Brown Page A

happened to the baby?  Did you abort
it?”
    “No! I would never do that.  I had a miscarriage three
months into the pregnancy.  I couldn’t handle the stress.”
    She pulled a chair away from the table and sat down before
she fell.  Ryan came over to where she was.  He knelt down and held her hands.
“God, Megan, it was wrong to keep that from me.”
    “That wasn’t my intention. Everything just blew up at one.
I honestly tried to stay calm and be strong for you at the same time while I
finished my nursing program.  Then you joined the fire department and that put
me over the edge.” She stopped to slow her sobs as he wrapped his arms around
her bringing her close to him. She continued. “One morning I woke up and there
was blood.  I didn’t know what was going on so I called my mom.  She took me to
the doctor where he confirmed I’d miscarried.”
    Suddenly he pulled away from her and walked over to the
sink. Megan waited for him for him to yell or throw something.  He didn’t. 
Instead, he braced his frame against the sink with his head hung low.  She
thought she heard a slight sniffle come from him.  Ryan loved kids despite his
awful upbringing.  He always said he wanted to prove to himself he could be a
better parent than his parents were.  His kids would never know what it was
like not to be hugged or told how much they were loved.
    “Ryan, please says something,” she said in a soft voice.
    “This is my fault.  I am the cause of your miscarriage,
Megan.”
    “No, you weren’t.  I have to believe it wasn’t meant to
be, Ryan, and nature took care of it. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything when it
happened, I just didn’t want to add to what you were already dealing with.”
    “I put you through hell during that trial and you never
questioned if I was guilty or not. Then you go through this all alone because I
was too damn involved in myself to give a shit about anything else going on
around me.”  He turned his head to look at her. “Why do you want to stay with
me?  You should hate my fucking guts and agree with Iona that I’m a loser.”
    She got up from the chair and went over to him.  With a
gentle hand she caressed the side of his face. “Ryan, I love you and you are
not a loser. Mom thought it would be best not to tell you, so she paid the
medical bills and all I had to do was keep my mouth shut.”
    “Megan, this is what you meant when you said you
sacrificed a lot for me.  I’m not good for you.  We were cursed from the start
and it will last until you finally see that I’m just not good for you.” He
walked away from her.
    Megan dropped to her knees folding her arms across her
body as she cried.
    *****
    James looked up from his desk.  He stood up and dropped
what he was doing. “Megan, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
    She ran over to him and hugged him around the waist.
“Everything is wrong, Dad.”
    “Calm down and tell me what’s going on?”
    “I don’t know where to start because it is all so jacked
up.”
    “Well, why don’t you start with the recent incidences
first.  What has Iona done this time?”
    “Mom is blackmailing me.  Well, she was until I came clean
with Ryan.  I told him about the miscarriage before she could.”
    “That bitch!” James scowled.
    Megan moved away from him startled.  She had never heard
her father use those words on anyone especially her mother. “Dad?”
    “I’m sorry, Megan.  I didn’t mean to say that for you to
hear.  But maybe it’s about time you heard the truth.”
    “What truth?  What is going on that I don’t know about?”
    “Sit down, Megan.  What I have to say will clear up a lot
of things and it’ll also help you and Ryan in the end.”

Chapter Nine
    Ryan dressed after his shower.  He’d shed all the tears he
could for now.  He’d lost a child he never got a chance to hear the heartbeat,
or even take joy in knowing he had coming.  Megan put him first and dealt with
the loss of their