me.”
She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and he had to strain not to tug it out and keep her from making teeth marks or worse.
“You sent me away. I understood perfectly. I’m not mad or resentful of your predicament. But over time I realized I’m also not ever leaving you. Not emotionally. I won’t begrudge you your own feelings, but I also won’t walk away. At least not entirely. You can demand I go. You can insist I not see you. And I will respect that. But I won’t take another mate, Ashley. You’re it for me.” He lifted her palm to his cheek and smoothed her silky skin against his.
“That’s a lot of pressure,” she mumbled.
“It’s how it is. I don’t mean to sound harsh. I want you to know that no matter how long you need or what monsters you fight I will be here for you. I won’t leave you. Ever. I can’t.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t have asked you to come tonight if I didn’t feel at least some of what you’re describing.” She pulled her hand from his face and crossed her arms. “You can’t crowd me.”
“I know.”
“I’m very leery about being touched.”
“I know.”
“I get claustrophobic when people are in my space.” A tear ran down her face and she swiped it away with her forearm quickly without untangling her arms from under her breasts.
“It’s okay.”
“I hate that you’re so kind.”
He smiled. His heart swelled. He wanted to hold her. She couldn’t do it. She was backing off, tucking herself away from him. He could understand that, and as much as it hurt, he had to remind himself it wasn’t personal.
Her pheromones leaked from her skin. She wanted him as badly as her body could process the information.
“I will never intentionally hurt you…emotionally, I mean. I wouldn’t dream of hurting you physically.” He ached to hold her. God this was going to be hard.
“I can’t have kids.” She seemed to think she should lay all her cards on the table. Was she trying to entice him to run? Scare him off?
“I wouldn’t care. But what makes you think that?”
She bit her lip again. “The fact that I don’t have any.”
Well, there’s that . He hated to contemplate her having sex with that bastard. Wait . “Who says that’s your fault?”
She looked away, embarrassment keeping her gaze above his head.
“He could have been wrong. Did you ever think it might have been him?”
“No.” She was honest.
“Perhaps it was a threat to his masculinity that you didn’t get pregnant and he made it up. Did you ever see a doctor?”
“Ha. Are you kidding? Not for four years.”
“Well then. I rest my case.”
“He said he did and that his quote—swimmers—were fine.”
“I bet he did.” Evan didn’t want to discuss him anymore. He was a jackass and didn’t deserve this much attention.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter since I can’t imagine ever having sex again.” She jumped up from the couch and walked away toward the window. “This is a bad idea.”
Evan took a deep breath and stood. He had a long road to haul, but he would succeed. “Slow down. No one’s asking you to have sex. Stop worrying about the future. Let’s live in the present for a while, okay?” He stepped up behind her and could see both their reflections in the wide picture window, so clearly it acted as a mirror. “Let me repeat. I will not pressure you. You will be safe with me. Always.”
She crossed her arms again, a defense against the world. He set his hands tentatively on her shoulders and then let them settle when she didn’t flinch. In fact, she calmed. She may not realize it yet, but whenever he touched her, her heart rate slowed.
“The pace I need is unreasonably foolish and you—”
He stopped her with a finger to her lips. “I’ll decide what’s foolish, and nothing about you fits the bill.” God, he loved her. Loved? Yes, loved. He had no doubt. It just was.
Suddenly she turned in his embrace and
She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and he had to strain not to tug it out and keep her from making teeth marks or worse.
“You sent me away. I understood perfectly. I’m not mad or resentful of your predicament. But over time I realized I’m also not ever leaving you. Not emotionally. I won’t begrudge you your own feelings, but I also won’t walk away. At least not entirely. You can demand I go. You can insist I not see you. And I will respect that. But I won’t take another mate, Ashley. You’re it for me.” He lifted her palm to his cheek and smoothed her silky skin against his.
“That’s a lot of pressure,” she mumbled.
“It’s how it is. I don’t mean to sound harsh. I want you to know that no matter how long you need or what monsters you fight I will be here for you. I won’t leave you. Ever. I can’t.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t have asked you to come tonight if I didn’t feel at least some of what you’re describing.” She pulled her hand from his face and crossed her arms. “You can’t crowd me.”
“I know.”
“I’m very leery about being touched.”
“I know.”
“I get claustrophobic when people are in my space.” A tear ran down her face and she swiped it away with her forearm quickly without untangling her arms from under her breasts.
“It’s okay.”
“I hate that you’re so kind.”
He smiled. His heart swelled. He wanted to hold her. She couldn’t do it. She was backing off, tucking herself away from him. He could understand that, and as much as it hurt, he had to remind himself it wasn’t personal.
Her pheromones leaked from her skin. She wanted him as badly as her body could process the information.
“I will never intentionally hurt you…emotionally, I mean. I wouldn’t dream of hurting you physically.” He ached to hold her. God this was going to be hard.
“I can’t have kids.” She seemed to think she should lay all her cards on the table. Was she trying to entice him to run? Scare him off?
“I wouldn’t care. But what makes you think that?”
She bit her lip again. “The fact that I don’t have any.”
Well, there’s that . He hated to contemplate her having sex with that bastard. Wait . “Who says that’s your fault?”
She looked away, embarrassment keeping her gaze above his head.
“He could have been wrong. Did you ever think it might have been him?”
“No.” She was honest.
“Perhaps it was a threat to his masculinity that you didn’t get pregnant and he made it up. Did you ever see a doctor?”
“Ha. Are you kidding? Not for four years.”
“Well then. I rest my case.”
“He said he did and that his quote—swimmers—were fine.”
“I bet he did.” Evan didn’t want to discuss him anymore. He was a jackass and didn’t deserve this much attention.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter since I can’t imagine ever having sex again.” She jumped up from the couch and walked away toward the window. “This is a bad idea.”
Evan took a deep breath and stood. He had a long road to haul, but he would succeed. “Slow down. No one’s asking you to have sex. Stop worrying about the future. Let’s live in the present for a while, okay?” He stepped up behind her and could see both their reflections in the wide picture window, so clearly it acted as a mirror. “Let me repeat. I will not pressure you. You will be safe with me. Always.”
She crossed her arms again, a defense against the world. He set his hands tentatively on her shoulders and then let them settle when she didn’t flinch. In fact, she calmed. She may not realize it yet, but whenever he touched her, her heart rate slowed.
“The pace I need is unreasonably foolish and you—”
He stopped her with a finger to her lips. “I’ll decide what’s foolish, and nothing about you fits the bill.” God, he loved her. Loved? Yes, loved. He had no doubt. It just was.
Suddenly she turned in his embrace and
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