it at what we just
did—”
“I don’t.”
I look up flirtatiously at him. “What, you
want more than what you just got?”
He looks behind me at the dude looking out at
the public square. I’m speaking softly but it’s so quiet up here
that maybe the guy can hear us.
Ace whispers, “It’s not about that with you,
Gin.”
“Ooh, my, you are good!” I like
flirting with him. I’ve had my confidence-shot for the month, so
now I’m on a roll.
He shakes his head.
“Hey!” I say, grabbing his shoulders. “Don’t
be so serious, babe. I’m just playing with you.”
He looks at me intensely. “I don’t wanna play
about that. I’m a lot of things, Gin. A lot. A lot of bad things.
But I’m not that. I’ve played girls, plenty, but I’m not playing
you. I... like ...you.”
Wow.
It feels like the world just tilted a
little.
I try and keep it light. Try and remember to
breathe. One breath in, one breath out.
“Don’t say stuff like that to me.” I can
barely look him in the eyes.
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t deal with intense. I...need
it light.”
“Why? So you don’t feel ?”
“You hardly know me, Ace.”
“I know enough. And I know I like you.”
It’s too much to deal with. Too much.
The dude that walked up earlier starts to go
back down the steps. Maybe he’s sick of hearing the love-talk
behind him, or of feeling the sexual tension in the air.
Ace and I say nothing while the man walks
down, and then finally disappears.
It’s just me and him again.
Twilight. Almost darkness.
And a cold wind.
Ace bends down, grabs me by the shoulders. I
lift my head so my lips can meet his. He touches his to mine,
gently, softly.
This is different now. Different. Sensual. Scary . This is close . This is emotional .
This is a problem.
My world spins as my fears take root,
throwing fists at my chest while his tongue dances over my lower
lip, scrapes against my teeth, and finally pierces into my mouth
and buries itself so far into me that I can’t breathe.
My legs have widened again, instinctively.
Millennia of genetic experience already expecting what I’m thinking
I might also want to happen. With Ace. Just one night.
I’m up against the wall, feeling his hard
body on mine.
This makes no sense. No sense! And
yet...I’m overwhelmed by it. Going along with it. Caught in a drift
and being ridden by it.
It’s too good. The feeling, the emotions:
They’re too good. I’m being lied to. My mind is lying to me—my genes are lying to me!—telling me it’ll be OK, that he’ll
stay, that things will work out—
I don’t care. His tongue, his breath, the
salty flavor of his skin.
I want more.
I slide my tongue out to the side of his
mouth, lick his lips. Put my hands behind his neck and drag him
down to me, lifting my pelvis toward him.
He’s hardening. My body is his, completely
his.
But not here. Not here.
“We need a room,” I tell him.
He stops, cups my cheeks, smiles. “Damn right
we do.”
“I have a roommate. I could tell her I need
the apartment to myself but it’s too damn embarrassing to say it to
her.”
He smiles wider.
“Don’t laugh at me.” I’m embarrassed
already.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m adoring
you.”
I kiss him again. A desperate kiss. Clutching
his hair in my fingers and not letting go. Feeling the thrum and
sizzle between my legs. Wanting to crest, to be taken over the edge
with him. Burning. Tingling. “Oh, god, I want you so badly, Ace.” But I shouldn’t have you.
He pins me to the concrete wall with his
body, his shaft again hard and pushing at my soft mound. He buries
his lips on my neck, starts sucking. I feel the tingle, feel the
strength leave me. Oh, god, I haven’t gotten a hickey in so long! My eyes sting and burn. Shafts of lustful pain shoot
down my neck and he just sucks and kisses and...
I imagine sucking as well. And I don’t know
why I imagine it because I’ve never done that but... With him.
Maybe.
did—”
“I don’t.”
I look up flirtatiously at him. “What, you
want more than what you just got?”
He looks behind me at the dude looking out at
the public square. I’m speaking softly but it’s so quiet up here
that maybe the guy can hear us.
Ace whispers, “It’s not about that with you,
Gin.”
“Ooh, my, you are good!” I like
flirting with him. I’ve had my confidence-shot for the month, so
now I’m on a roll.
He shakes his head.
“Hey!” I say, grabbing his shoulders. “Don’t
be so serious, babe. I’m just playing with you.”
He looks at me intensely. “I don’t wanna play
about that. I’m a lot of things, Gin. A lot. A lot of bad things.
But I’m not that. I’ve played girls, plenty, but I’m not playing
you. I... like ...you.”
Wow.
It feels like the world just tilted a
little.
I try and keep it light. Try and remember to
breathe. One breath in, one breath out.
“Don’t say stuff like that to me.” I can
barely look him in the eyes.
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t deal with intense. I...need
it light.”
“Why? So you don’t feel ?”
“You hardly know me, Ace.”
“I know enough. And I know I like you.”
It’s too much to deal with. Too much.
The dude that walked up earlier starts to go
back down the steps. Maybe he’s sick of hearing the love-talk
behind him, or of feeling the sexual tension in the air.
Ace and I say nothing while the man walks
down, and then finally disappears.
It’s just me and him again.
Twilight. Almost darkness.
And a cold wind.
Ace bends down, grabs me by the shoulders. I
lift my head so my lips can meet his. He touches his to mine,
gently, softly.
This is different now. Different. Sensual. Scary . This is close . This is emotional .
This is a problem.
My world spins as my fears take root,
throwing fists at my chest while his tongue dances over my lower
lip, scrapes against my teeth, and finally pierces into my mouth
and buries itself so far into me that I can’t breathe.
My legs have widened again, instinctively.
Millennia of genetic experience already expecting what I’m thinking
I might also want to happen. With Ace. Just one night.
I’m up against the wall, feeling his hard
body on mine.
This makes no sense. No sense! And
yet...I’m overwhelmed by it. Going along with it. Caught in a drift
and being ridden by it.
It’s too good. The feeling, the emotions:
They’re too good. I’m being lied to. My mind is lying to me—my genes are lying to me!—telling me it’ll be OK, that he’ll
stay, that things will work out—
I don’t care. His tongue, his breath, the
salty flavor of his skin.
I want more.
I slide my tongue out to the side of his
mouth, lick his lips. Put my hands behind his neck and drag him
down to me, lifting my pelvis toward him.
He’s hardening. My body is his, completely
his.
But not here. Not here.
“We need a room,” I tell him.
He stops, cups my cheeks, smiles. “Damn right
we do.”
“I have a roommate. I could tell her I need
the apartment to myself but it’s too damn embarrassing to say it to
her.”
He smiles wider.
“Don’t laugh at me.” I’m embarrassed
already.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m adoring
you.”
I kiss him again. A desperate kiss. Clutching
his hair in my fingers and not letting go. Feeling the thrum and
sizzle between my legs. Wanting to crest, to be taken over the edge
with him. Burning. Tingling. “Oh, god, I want you so badly, Ace.” But I shouldn’t have you.
He pins me to the concrete wall with his
body, his shaft again hard and pushing at my soft mound. He buries
his lips on my neck, starts sucking. I feel the tingle, feel the
strength leave me. Oh, god, I haven’t gotten a hickey in so long! My eyes sting and burn. Shafts of lustful pain shoot
down my neck and he just sucks and kisses and...
I imagine sucking as well. And I don’t know
why I imagine it because I’ve never done that but... With him.
Maybe.
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