to
stay in my room so I can keep an eye on her, and then help her get
cleaned up. She rinses her mouth thoroughly with mouthwash and
washes off all that makeup, revealing the Rory I know and…
love?
I shake the thought out of my head. It's too
much to think about right now.
I finally leave her alone in the bathroom to
finish up, and get my damned head on straight.
I grab the extra pillows and blankets from
the closet and make up the couch for myself, knowing I'm not going
to get much sleep tonight anyway.
"Sam, I think I'm okay, I just wanna get to
bed," Rory murmurs when she comes out. What did she think I had
planned? A round of monopoly?
"That's the plan," I assure her.
I wash up in the bathroom, but when I come
out, Rory's laying on the couch.
"What are you doing?" I
ask her, and she blinks at me.
God
, she must think I'm a real
asshole if she thought I meant for her to sleep on the damned
couch. "You're not sleeping there."
She sits up, and I realize she still doesn't
get my meaning.
"The couch is for me, Rory. You take the
bed." I know she's about to argue, and I hold out my hand to stop
her. "Not a chance. Come on, Ror, let me be a gentleman."
"I wish you were less of a
damn gentleman," she mutters under her breath, and I laugh. She
means for stopping our… whatever that almost was. And it shoots a
thrill through my bloodstream. I love that she still wants me even
though she's sobering up, and I wonder what it means.
She takes my hand and I help her up.
My breath catches. Holy fuck, she's wearing
my boxers. Why is that the hottest thing I've ever fucking
seen?
"Sorry," she offers. Unless she's
apologizing for my raging hard-on, I have no idea why she's
sorry.
"Help yourself," I say with a chuckle. I
also love that she felt comfortable enough to borrow my underwear
without asking, and I want her to keep them. I want to imagine her
wearing them to bed at night long after we return from break.
I follow her into the bedroom and she climbs
under the covers.
"You gonna tuck me in?" she teases me.
"Something like that," I tell her. In truth,
I want to climb in behind her and hold her all night. I don't even
care about hooking up. But of course, that's out of the question.
Shit, I hope she's not nervous being alone in here with me right
now. "You're okay, right? That I'm here, I mean."
She lies down and rolls to face me. "Yeah,
Sam. I've told you, I trust you. I'm pretty sure you can't trigger
me anymore. Not unless you did something intentionally to."
"I would
never
—“
"I know."
I sigh, and sit down on the edge of the bed.
I love hearing that from her, but I'm not sure I'm worthy of that
trust right now. Not after my behavior tonight. I'm reeling with
everything that's happened, from the intensity of our kisses, but
most of all, from her revelation.
Rory wasn't just abused.
She was raped. And I can't wrap my mind around it. How could
someone do that to her? Her
boyfriend
. He was supposed to
protect her. For him to violate her in the worst way… I just feel
like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and run through a
fucking shredder. I want so desperately to ask her about it, but I
know I can't tonight, so I just lean down and press a soft kiss to
her forehead, hoping that it's enough for her to know what she
means to me, and that I'd never let anyone hurt her ever
again.
"Goodnight, Ror. Look, if you wake up and
you don't feel good, or you need something, anything, wake me up,
okay? I mean it."
"Thanks," she breathes.
I smile. "I got you, Pine. What-"
"
are friends for
, I
know."
****
The
Way Things Should Have Been
I 'm in love with Rory. I haven't told her, I may never have
the balls to tell her, but I've finally admitted it to myself, and
that's something. As we lay on the beach in the afternoon sun, her
head resting on my stomach, I rest my eyes and try to make sense of
the day.
I was up most of the night, my head reeling
with Rory's admission, grappling between
stay in my room so I can keep an eye on her, and then help her get
cleaned up. She rinses her mouth thoroughly with mouthwash and
washes off all that makeup, revealing the Rory I know and…
love?
I shake the thought out of my head. It's too
much to think about right now.
I finally leave her alone in the bathroom to
finish up, and get my damned head on straight.
I grab the extra pillows and blankets from
the closet and make up the couch for myself, knowing I'm not going
to get much sleep tonight anyway.
"Sam, I think I'm okay, I just wanna get to
bed," Rory murmurs when she comes out. What did she think I had
planned? A round of monopoly?
"That's the plan," I assure her.
I wash up in the bathroom, but when I come
out, Rory's laying on the couch.
"What are you doing?" I
ask her, and she blinks at me.
God
, she must think I'm a real
asshole if she thought I meant for her to sleep on the damned
couch. "You're not sleeping there."
She sits up, and I realize she still doesn't
get my meaning.
"The couch is for me, Rory. You take the
bed." I know she's about to argue, and I hold out my hand to stop
her. "Not a chance. Come on, Ror, let me be a gentleman."
"I wish you were less of a
damn gentleman," she mutters under her breath, and I laugh. She
means for stopping our… whatever that almost was. And it shoots a
thrill through my bloodstream. I love that she still wants me even
though she's sobering up, and I wonder what it means.
She takes my hand and I help her up.
My breath catches. Holy fuck, she's wearing
my boxers. Why is that the hottest thing I've ever fucking
seen?
"Sorry," she offers. Unless she's
apologizing for my raging hard-on, I have no idea why she's
sorry.
"Help yourself," I say with a chuckle. I
also love that she felt comfortable enough to borrow my underwear
without asking, and I want her to keep them. I want to imagine her
wearing them to bed at night long after we return from break.
I follow her into the bedroom and she climbs
under the covers.
"You gonna tuck me in?" she teases me.
"Something like that," I tell her. In truth,
I want to climb in behind her and hold her all night. I don't even
care about hooking up. But of course, that's out of the question.
Shit, I hope she's not nervous being alone in here with me right
now. "You're okay, right? That I'm here, I mean."
She lies down and rolls to face me. "Yeah,
Sam. I've told you, I trust you. I'm pretty sure you can't trigger
me anymore. Not unless you did something intentionally to."
"I would
never
—“
"I know."
I sigh, and sit down on the edge of the bed.
I love hearing that from her, but I'm not sure I'm worthy of that
trust right now. Not after my behavior tonight. I'm reeling with
everything that's happened, from the intensity of our kisses, but
most of all, from her revelation.
Rory wasn't just abused.
She was raped. And I can't wrap my mind around it. How could
someone do that to her? Her
boyfriend
. He was supposed to
protect her. For him to violate her in the worst way… I just feel
like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and run through a
fucking shredder. I want so desperately to ask her about it, but I
know I can't tonight, so I just lean down and press a soft kiss to
her forehead, hoping that it's enough for her to know what she
means to me, and that I'd never let anyone hurt her ever
again.
"Goodnight, Ror. Look, if you wake up and
you don't feel good, or you need something, anything, wake me up,
okay? I mean it."
"Thanks," she breathes.
I smile. "I got you, Pine. What-"
"
are friends for
, I
know."
****
The
Way Things Should Have Been
I 'm in love with Rory. I haven't told her, I may never have
the balls to tell her, but I've finally admitted it to myself, and
that's something. As we lay on the beach in the afternoon sun, her
head resting on my stomach, I rest my eyes and try to make sense of
the day.
I was up most of the night, my head reeling
with Rory's admission, grappling between
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