children touch their genitals with their fingers. Others stimulate their genitals by rubbing their bodies against toys, bedding, pillows, stuffed animals, or the floor. Many pediatricians and child psychologists recommend that parents respond in a way that assures their child that touching one’s genitals is okay and that their genitals are not dirty. For example, a parent might say something like, “That’s okay to do, but please do it somewhere private, such as in your bedroom or in the bathroom.” Of course, this may be more appropriate for older children (often aged four and up) who can understand the message.
Vaginal insertion. Some young girls insert objects into their vaginas for reasons that are unclear. One mother, whose daughter was found to have inserted part of a Bratz doll into her vagina, wondered if perhaps her daughter had seen her insert a tampon and tried to imitate this action with her toy. 13 For other young girls, the vaginal insertion of objects may be linked to sexual abuse. Other times, girls may have just found their vagina one day, inserted a finger, and then wondered what else could be placed in their “special hiding place.” For some, inserting toys or objects into the vagina may be a form of self-stimulation. Mostly, though, we just don’t know why some young girls do this, as research has largely been focused on taking care of these girls’ health needs. When you teach your daughter about her genitals, it is worth teaching her how to care for them, including that her vagina is not a place to keep things. We say this only half-jokingly, as it cannot be emphasized enough that there are dangers associated with girls putting objects into the vagina and leaving them there. Some girls who have had ongoing fevers and/or abdominal pain were eventually brought to the emergency room, only to find that they had inserted batteries into the vagina. 14 , 15 These have resulted in serious health emergencies, very careful removal by skilled physicians, and (in some cases) hospitalization.
V-CRAFT: HOST YOUR OWN “DINNER PARTY”!
A vulva-themed party can be fun to host for no other reason than to celebrate our down theres—and what better way to name it than your own “Dinner Party” in honor of Judy Chicago’s famous vulvathemed art installation (more on this later)? If you’re the kind of person who likes to party with purpose, why not host a vulva-themed party as a fundraiser for your local V-Day cast and crew’s production of The Vagina Monologues ? Or donate the proceeds to the National Vulvodynia Association? Or host in recognition of International GYN Awareness Day (IGAD), celebrated on September 10 or in recognition of Vulvar Health Awareness Month, celebrated each March? Here are some ideas:
Make vulva-themed cupcakes by using frosting to draw vulvas or the letter “V” on each cupcake (we recommend frosting some in pink, others in beige or brown or black, and others in red or purple, etc).
Entertain yourselves by playing pin the clitoris on the vulva! Draw your own poster-sized vulva, equipped with all its parts, and cheer each other on as partygoers put the clitoris in its rightful place.
Make vulva-themed plates in advance, perhaps at your local paint-your-own-pottery place. In our experience, we were not censored—then again, the vulvas we’ve made on plates have been a bit Georgia O’Keeffe-ish, in that they looked as much like flowers as they did vulvas.
Give out hand mirrors as party favors along with information about vulvar self-examination.
Color your vulvas! Set out crayons and pages from the Cunt Coloring Book and get together and draw your own or your imaginary vulvas.
Use your imagination to make this a vulva-positive evening full of good friends, food, and energy.
Give her the words. When you teach your daughter the names for her body parts, try to teach her the words she will need to talk about and think about her genital body parts. Just as she should know words
Terry Pratchett
Stan Hayes
Charlotte Stein
Dan Verner
Chad Evercroft
Mickey Huff
Jeannette Winters
Will Self
Kennedy Chase
Ana Vela