college was so important to me this time last year. Right now it hardly seems important at all.”
“You’re a bright girl. Josh wouldn’t want anybody who wasn’t absolutely sure of what she wanted. When Jenny was alive, she was so much more positive about wanting me than I was about wanting her.”
“Do you still miss her?”
“I’ll always miss her. But I’ve had to go on with my life. I couldn’t let all that she suffered count fornothing. Jenny House is her legacy. That’s why I’m rebuilding, why I’ve fought so hard to keep her grandmother’s dream alive. It’s all I can do for them.”
Katie understood what he was telling her. “When I was recovering from my transplant, when I wanted to run again but hardly had the strength to stand up, Josh took me on as his personal project. He never let me quit.”
“That was then, this is now,” Mr. Holloway said. “All that’s behind you. You can’t have a future if you can’t let go of your past. Being there for Josh now shouldn’t be out of gratitude for what he did for you. It should be out of what you feel for him in your heart.”
Katie saw the subtle difference between the two things. Could she love Josh if he was trapped in a wheelchair? She didn’t know the answer because she didn’t know exactly what she felt for him. Pity? Yes. But pity couldn’t carry her through the rest of her life. She couldn’t be bound to someone because she felt sorry for him.
Mr. Holloway pushed away from the table. “It’s late. We both should get back to camp.”
“I have Lacey’s car,” Katie said. “I’ll be coming soon. First I have a stop to make.”
* * *
The full moon lit the construction site with a silvery glow. Katie parked and weaved her way through the well-trampled trail to the chapel. Much progress had been made since the first day of camp. She saw the shape of the building more clearly now. The building started low in the back, then rose higher in the front like the curving bow of a great boat. A partial roof was in place, but toward the front, where the altar and stained-glass window would be, the roof was still unfinished, and moonlight streamed through the opening. She stood in the moonlight, looking upward.
Tree frogs and katydids filled the air with their music; otherwise there was silence. Katie was alone. Utterly alone.
“Hello, God,” she whispered. “It’s me, Katie O’Roark.” It had been so long since she’d prayed that she felt it necessary to reintroduce herself to the Creator.
“I—I need a favor.” She stopped, collecting her thoughts. “It’s not for me, you understand, but for Josh. You know he’s hurt. He’s hurt pretty bad. But I know you can fix him. With just a single word, you can make him well.”
She remembered enough from her days in Sunday school to know that miracles happened. And that God was in charge of miracles. If he could raiseLazarus from the dead and his son from a grave, then he could heal Josh’s spinal cord.
She took a deep breath. She could make God a lot of promises, but she knew that would be futile. In the first place, even if she swore she’d be “good” for the rest of her life, she knew she couldn’t keep such a vow. And God might not want her to swear such a thing. How could her being “good” possibly help Josh? No, she just needed to ask God outright to heal Josh.
An owl called from atop a nearby tree.
“Please make Josh all right,” Katie pleaded, looking up at the sky. “Please, let him walk again. Not for me, but for himself. And if he has to be in a wheelchair, then help me to help him accept it. Give me the courage to stand by him the way he stood by me when I needed him.”
She stopped. By now tears had filled her eyes and her heart felt as if it might break. She truly believed that God had heard her prayer. What she did not know was whether or not he would grant her request. Against great odds, God had given her a new heart when she’d
“You’re a bright girl. Josh wouldn’t want anybody who wasn’t absolutely sure of what she wanted. When Jenny was alive, she was so much more positive about wanting me than I was about wanting her.”
“Do you still miss her?”
“I’ll always miss her. But I’ve had to go on with my life. I couldn’t let all that she suffered count fornothing. Jenny House is her legacy. That’s why I’m rebuilding, why I’ve fought so hard to keep her grandmother’s dream alive. It’s all I can do for them.”
Katie understood what he was telling her. “When I was recovering from my transplant, when I wanted to run again but hardly had the strength to stand up, Josh took me on as his personal project. He never let me quit.”
“That was then, this is now,” Mr. Holloway said. “All that’s behind you. You can’t have a future if you can’t let go of your past. Being there for Josh now shouldn’t be out of gratitude for what he did for you. It should be out of what you feel for him in your heart.”
Katie saw the subtle difference between the two things. Could she love Josh if he was trapped in a wheelchair? She didn’t know the answer because she didn’t know exactly what she felt for him. Pity? Yes. But pity couldn’t carry her through the rest of her life. She couldn’t be bound to someone because she felt sorry for him.
Mr. Holloway pushed away from the table. “It’s late. We both should get back to camp.”
“I have Lacey’s car,” Katie said. “I’ll be coming soon. First I have a stop to make.”
* * *
The full moon lit the construction site with a silvery glow. Katie parked and weaved her way through the well-trampled trail to the chapel. Much progress had been made since the first day of camp. She saw the shape of the building more clearly now. The building started low in the back, then rose higher in the front like the curving bow of a great boat. A partial roof was in place, but toward the front, where the altar and stained-glass window would be, the roof was still unfinished, and moonlight streamed through the opening. She stood in the moonlight, looking upward.
Tree frogs and katydids filled the air with their music; otherwise there was silence. Katie was alone. Utterly alone.
“Hello, God,” she whispered. “It’s me, Katie O’Roark.” It had been so long since she’d prayed that she felt it necessary to reintroduce herself to the Creator.
“I—I need a favor.” She stopped, collecting her thoughts. “It’s not for me, you understand, but for Josh. You know he’s hurt. He’s hurt pretty bad. But I know you can fix him. With just a single word, you can make him well.”
She remembered enough from her days in Sunday school to know that miracles happened. And that God was in charge of miracles. If he could raiseLazarus from the dead and his son from a grave, then he could heal Josh’s spinal cord.
She took a deep breath. She could make God a lot of promises, but she knew that would be futile. In the first place, even if she swore she’d be “good” for the rest of her life, she knew she couldn’t keep such a vow. And God might not want her to swear such a thing. How could her being “good” possibly help Josh? No, she just needed to ask God outright to heal Josh.
An owl called from atop a nearby tree.
“Please make Josh all right,” Katie pleaded, looking up at the sky. “Please, let him walk again. Not for me, but for himself. And if he has to be in a wheelchair, then help me to help him accept it. Give me the courage to stand by him the way he stood by me when I needed him.”
She stopped. By now tears had filled her eyes and her heart felt as if it might break. She truly believed that God had heard her prayer. What she did not know was whether or not he would grant her request. Against great odds, God had given her a new heart when she’d
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