Raisin Rodriguez & the Big-Time Smooch by Judy Goldschmidt Page B

I would have had a connip fit right there. “It does not look awesome,” I would have said. “If anything’s bourgeois, the word awesome is, and what the heck does the word bourgeois mean anyway?” But I held myself back.
    â€œI know what you mean about those games,” I said, following the girls to the cash register. “But to be honest, I was looking forward to them as a chance to get rid of my reputation as a priss.”
    â€œDon’t worry. You’ll get rid of it sooner or later,” Fippy said.
    As we left the store, Lynn talked about her orthodontist’s giant nose and how she thinks she’s seen his brain through the opening in his nostrils. My mind wandered as she described what gray matter looks like. I wondered what could possibly help me lose my reputation at this point.
    â€œHey, Jacques,” I heard Fippy saying. “What are you doing here?”
    â€œMy favorite French bookstore eez ’ere. I am looking for a book about Paree in ze year 1967—ze summer of loave.”
    â€œRight on,” Lynn said.
    â€œGroovy,” Fippy said.
    â€œPeace,” I said. Then I held up my two fingers and made a V. I felt really cool. Almost as cool as Lynn sounds when she talks about The Man.
    Fippy took me off to the side as Lynn continued a conversation with Jacques. “You could lose your reputation right here, right now, if you want to. All you’d have to do is make out with Jacques. The news would spread quickly and poof—your reputation would be gone.”
    It seemed so simple. Just one kiss and my days as a priss would be over. It was a win-win situation. If the reputation was holding CJ back, he could stop worrying about it. And even if it wasn’t, I could get in some much-needed practice for the big kiss with CJ. Whenever that would be.
    â€œOkay. I’ll do it,” I said.
    Fippy took Jacques aside and whispered something in his ear, and before I knew it, he was taking out the ChapStick and wiping it across his mouth. This is it, I thought. There’s no turning back now. I’m about to become a woman of the world. A force to be reckoned with.
    I was all ready. I puckered up. The air was thick with tension as Fippy gave Jacques a quick rub on the shoulder for good luck, and Lynn handed me a Listerine breath strip. I was finally getting the chance to prove myself. My reputation was about to be restored. My life was about to change forever.
    But then, just as Jacques moved in for the kill, I realized something kind of disturbing. Between my most recent growth spurt and what seems to be Jacques’ unfortunate shrinking spurt, there’s a good six inches between us. Not the most ideal height difference for kissing partners. Especially when one of those partners has never kissed a boy before. If I didn’t do something quick, Jacques would be kissing my armpit. My clean-shaven but non-mouth armpit. And what would that have done for my reputation? Nothing more than show the world that when it comes to kissing, I have no idea what I’m doing.
    So, at the last minute, I had no choice but to duck, leaving Jacques stuck kissing the lamppost just behind me.
    My first instinct was to feel bad. I didn’t want to embarrass the guy. But then I watched him go at it with the slab of steel and he seemed to be enjoying himself.
    My next instinct was to take a look around me and examine the expressions on Lynn and Fippy’s faces. And to note that the expressions did not convey respect.
    Even so, I didn’t learn from my mistake.
    â€œRaisin, ma petite chou, do you want to try it again?” Jacques asked, wiping his mouth when he was all done. “Zere is nothing to be afraid of.”
    Did he have to use the word afraid? It certainly didn’t do much to further the illusion I was trying to create of myself as an experienced woman of the world.
    Still, he was giving me a golden opportunity, and I knew I had to take