Raining In My Heart (Book One of the McKay's) by Rita Hestand Page A
Authors: Rita Hestand
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kissed me and I was lost and from that moment on, things changed . At first I thought he was Wade , they look so much alike. But I soon realized I had the wrong brother….or the right one , " Julie admitted. "Sometimes I wonder."
Seeing the distress growing on her daughter ' s face , she reached to push the hair from her eyes . "Oh darling, someday I'll be able to sit down and talk to you so much easier about this. After you've had a few boyfriends you will begin to understand it. But I can't put this off any longer. I can't wait until you 're older. Y es, Cade Weston is your father, and he didn't even know it until the other night… so it's not his fault. It's mine. "
Kellie let the tears she held fall, her expression changing from sad to more confus ed . "In all these years…you never told him?" Kellie 's expression looked wounded. "Why…that doesn't make any sense to me."
Julie found a strange unforgiveness there. "No darling, and I know now it was a huge mistake…"
"He didn 't know?" Kellie repeated as though she couldn't quite believe it . "H ow can you be a father and not know it?"
" It's a little easier a father not knowing than a mother . Because I left home and he never knew I was pregnant , " Julie tried to explain.
"Is that why you ran away from Grandpa and him ?"
"Partly, I guess. Yes, that's the reason. "
"Why?" Kellie cried out, and then her face changed . "You didn't think he'd want me?"
"N-no… .it was n't like that, darling. Please try to understand , " Julie cried with her now. "It really had nothing to do with him wanting you or not. Your father is a very moral man ; he wou ld have offered marriage immedi ately if I'd told him then."
"Then why didn't you tell him? Didn't you want to marry him?"
"I was very confused, but no, it wasn't the right time or place."
Kellie frowned.
" You see , when we made love, I thought he was Wade . When I found out he wasn't, I was shocked and even more shocked when I found out I w as expecting you. I'd made such a big mistake, and at the time I couldn't face it. I was so embarrassed that I'd used your father, I couldn't put him in a position he might get fired. "
"Grandpa would have fired him?"
"More than likely, yes."
"I'm a mistake?"
"No , darling . " Julie reached to pet her, but Kellie jerked away from her. "You were never a mistake. I love you too much to ever think of you as a mistake. "
Kellie hugged the door and stared unbelieving at her mother. "How could you do this?"
" Kellie ," Julie cried and pulled to the side of the road. She reached for Kellie , but her daughter pulled away. "It is so hard to explain this…that's why I've waited so long…"
"Don't touch me. I'll never forgive you for this… Not just my father but my grandfather, how could you? " Kellie cried and got out of the car and ran down the incline. She turned to look at her as she reached the bottom of the incline . "I had a father…all this time, and you didn't tell me or him? I had a grandfather too and you never brought me out here to meet him while he was alive. I'll never forgive you. Never! All you were thinking about was yourself. "
" Kellie , come back , darling…"
But Kellie fell to her knees and cried.
Julie stood watching, unable to know the right words to heal the situation, as her own tears began to blind her. She wanted to run and comfort her but knew she was no longer welcome to do so.
An hour later, Kellie walked back to the car without glancing at her mother and said, " I want to talk to my father."
"Of course . " Julie nodded.
The rest of the ride was in silence and Julie prayed her daughter would learn to forgive, just as she silently wished Cade might do the same.
***
Kellie had rushed from the car almost as soon as it was in the drive. She ran down the hill and into the barn where she'd found the horses that day, to find Caleb . He was there, cleaning a stall.
"Hi there, I'm glad to see you . Have you come to curry them again?" Caleb asked with
Seeing the distress growing on her daughter ' s face , she reached to push the hair from her eyes . "Oh darling, someday I'll be able to sit down and talk to you so much easier about this. After you've had a few boyfriends you will begin to understand it. But I can't put this off any longer. I can't wait until you 're older. Y es, Cade Weston is your father, and he didn't even know it until the other night… so it's not his fault. It's mine. "
Kellie let the tears she held fall, her expression changing from sad to more confus ed . "In all these years…you never told him?" Kellie 's expression looked wounded. "Why…that doesn't make any sense to me."
Julie found a strange unforgiveness there. "No darling, and I know now it was a huge mistake…"
"He didn 't know?" Kellie repeated as though she couldn't quite believe it . "H ow can you be a father and not know it?"
" It's a little easier a father not knowing than a mother . Because I left home and he never knew I was pregnant , " Julie tried to explain.
"Is that why you ran away from Grandpa and him ?"
"Partly, I guess. Yes, that's the reason. "
"Why?" Kellie cried out, and then her face changed . "You didn't think he'd want me?"
"N-no… .it was n't like that, darling. Please try to understand , " Julie cried with her now. "It really had nothing to do with him wanting you or not. Your father is a very moral man ; he wou ld have offered marriage immedi ately if I'd told him then."
"Then why didn't you tell him? Didn't you want to marry him?"
"I was very confused, but no, it wasn't the right time or place."
Kellie frowned.
" You see , when we made love, I thought he was Wade . When I found out he wasn't, I was shocked and even more shocked when I found out I w as expecting you. I'd made such a big mistake, and at the time I couldn't face it. I was so embarrassed that I'd used your father, I couldn't put him in a position he might get fired. "
"Grandpa would have fired him?"
"More than likely, yes."
"I'm a mistake?"
"No , darling . " Julie reached to pet her, but Kellie jerked away from her. "You were never a mistake. I love you too much to ever think of you as a mistake. "
Kellie hugged the door and stared unbelieving at her mother. "How could you do this?"
" Kellie ," Julie cried and pulled to the side of the road. She reached for Kellie , but her daughter pulled away. "It is so hard to explain this…that's why I've waited so long…"
"Don't touch me. I'll never forgive you for this… Not just my father but my grandfather, how could you? " Kellie cried and got out of the car and ran down the incline. She turned to look at her as she reached the bottom of the incline . "I had a father…all this time, and you didn't tell me or him? I had a grandfather too and you never brought me out here to meet him while he was alive. I'll never forgive you. Never! All you were thinking about was yourself. "
" Kellie , come back , darling…"
But Kellie fell to her knees and cried.
Julie stood watching, unable to know the right words to heal the situation, as her own tears began to blind her. She wanted to run and comfort her but knew she was no longer welcome to do so.
An hour later, Kellie walked back to the car without glancing at her mother and said, " I want to talk to my father."
"Of course . " Julie nodded.
The rest of the ride was in silence and Julie prayed her daughter would learn to forgive, just as she silently wished Cade might do the same.
***
Kellie had rushed from the car almost as soon as it was in the drive. She ran down the hill and into the barn where she'd found the horses that day, to find Caleb . He was there, cleaning a stall.
"Hi there, I'm glad to see you . Have you come to curry them again?" Caleb asked with
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