battle, but you never give up. You can’t and I can’t let you.” I clapped my hands together and pointed at her with my palms together. “Now it’s time for you to show me how creative you can get with your dancing.”
“You called me Margaret.”
“Yes, I did,” I said as I stood to turn on the sound system.
11
Maggie
Fall
The smile on my face hurt.
It wasn’t just the constant stretching of my muscles across my face. It was also a pain deep in my heart. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that intensely connected with another human being.
“Are you ready?” Karl asked.
“Give me a minute,” I said, sitting onto my knees. I rolled forward into child’s pose toward him. I laughed as I sat like that.
“What’s so funny?” Karl asked.
I kept my face toward the floor and my arms stretched out in front of me. “Well, I look like I’m bowing to you,” I said with a muffled tone.
“Yes, yes you do. But that’s not a bad thing,” he said with a laugh.
“Karl, are you flirting?” I asked, still stretching.
“I’m not sure if I am; it’s been awhile,” he said and I heard apprehension in his voice.
I pulled my arms back and sat up. I rested my hands in my lap and met his eyes.
“I wouldn’t expect that,” I said with sarcasm and a wink. “You are quite the ladies’ man.”
A different feeling filled my gut now and I knew it was wrong, but the thought of him giving attention to another woman made me feel like the world would combust on itself. Everything would cease to exist and I’d be the one left to think about it all. That’s how horrible that would feel.
“I used to be,” he said, picking at the hole in the knee of his jeans. He wore long underwear underneath his jeans.
“Tell me about it. Then after you’re done, I will dance.”
“Are you prolonging this?” he asked with a sweet smile.
“Yes, I am, but it’s beside the point. I want to hear this story of pimp daddy Karl.”
He laughed. He laughed very loud and long at that.
“Pimp Daddy. That’s a good one. I will let you decide when I’ve finished the story if you think it’s a good label for me.”
I nodded and tried to focus on him and his words and not on the fear building in me about trying to dance again. Not just play dancing, but dancing in my current reality.
“My first girlfriend was when I was a sophomore in high school. Before then, the only time I was near a girl was shy dancing at junior high dances. That was the closest I ever was to them. And, that closeness meant my hands on their waist as I stared past their shoulder, because the wall was more interesting than looking at them. Then I met my girlfriend. We were in art class together. We sat at the same table for the first semester and never spoke a word to each other. We found out later that both of us sat with the other because we saw that the other was quiet and we didn’t want to talk while we worked on different projects.”
I laughed. “How did you end up talking then?”
“She made this painting one time and I had to talk to her about it. I couldn’t be silent when I saw it. It was beautiful and it was creepy as hell. It was truth, so I told her it was.” He flicked a piece of fuzz from his finger and watched it fall to the ground. “Then she cried because I got it. I think that was my first moment understanding another human being. We dated for a few months. She was older than me. She went off to college. I wanted to follow her, but we didn’t have the money. So I decided—you know I always wanted to do something important, so I joined the military. My mom signed off on my enlistment and I went in when I was seventeen.
“I joined the military for a girl and with the idea that what I saw in the movies was real. I should’ve been smarter than that. I was smarter than that. But I let myself get carried away by what I thought was love. She kept in touch with me. After my first deployment, I visited her. We had drifted
“You called me Margaret.”
“Yes, I did,” I said as I stood to turn on the sound system.
11
Maggie
Fall
The smile on my face hurt.
It wasn’t just the constant stretching of my muscles across my face. It was also a pain deep in my heart. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that intensely connected with another human being.
“Are you ready?” Karl asked.
“Give me a minute,” I said, sitting onto my knees. I rolled forward into child’s pose toward him. I laughed as I sat like that.
“What’s so funny?” Karl asked.
I kept my face toward the floor and my arms stretched out in front of me. “Well, I look like I’m bowing to you,” I said with a muffled tone.
“Yes, yes you do. But that’s not a bad thing,” he said with a laugh.
“Karl, are you flirting?” I asked, still stretching.
“I’m not sure if I am; it’s been awhile,” he said and I heard apprehension in his voice.
I pulled my arms back and sat up. I rested my hands in my lap and met his eyes.
“I wouldn’t expect that,” I said with sarcasm and a wink. “You are quite the ladies’ man.”
A different feeling filled my gut now and I knew it was wrong, but the thought of him giving attention to another woman made me feel like the world would combust on itself. Everything would cease to exist and I’d be the one left to think about it all. That’s how horrible that would feel.
“I used to be,” he said, picking at the hole in the knee of his jeans. He wore long underwear underneath his jeans.
“Tell me about it. Then after you’re done, I will dance.”
“Are you prolonging this?” he asked with a sweet smile.
“Yes, I am, but it’s beside the point. I want to hear this story of pimp daddy Karl.”
He laughed. He laughed very loud and long at that.
“Pimp Daddy. That’s a good one. I will let you decide when I’ve finished the story if you think it’s a good label for me.”
I nodded and tried to focus on him and his words and not on the fear building in me about trying to dance again. Not just play dancing, but dancing in my current reality.
“My first girlfriend was when I was a sophomore in high school. Before then, the only time I was near a girl was shy dancing at junior high dances. That was the closest I ever was to them. And, that closeness meant my hands on their waist as I stared past their shoulder, because the wall was more interesting than looking at them. Then I met my girlfriend. We were in art class together. We sat at the same table for the first semester and never spoke a word to each other. We found out later that both of us sat with the other because we saw that the other was quiet and we didn’t want to talk while we worked on different projects.”
I laughed. “How did you end up talking then?”
“She made this painting one time and I had to talk to her about it. I couldn’t be silent when I saw it. It was beautiful and it was creepy as hell. It was truth, so I told her it was.” He flicked a piece of fuzz from his finger and watched it fall to the ground. “Then she cried because I got it. I think that was my first moment understanding another human being. We dated for a few months. She was older than me. She went off to college. I wanted to follow her, but we didn’t have the money. So I decided—you know I always wanted to do something important, so I joined the military. My mom signed off on my enlistment and I went in when I was seventeen.
“I joined the military for a girl and with the idea that what I saw in the movies was real. I should’ve been smarter than that. I was smarter than that. But I let myself get carried away by what I thought was love. She kept in touch with me. After my first deployment, I visited her. We had drifted
Similar Books
