they’ve spent the day in a chicken coop, Jack thought but kept it to himself.
“ Is that decaf?” Schaffer asked. “I only drink decaf.”
“ Don’t have any,” Julio said as he finished pouring. He strutted back to the bar.
“ I can see why the place is deserted,” Schaffer said, glancing at Julio’s retreating form. “That guy’s downright rude.”
“ It doesn’t come naturally to him. He’s been practicing lately.”
“ Yeah? Well somebody ought to see that the owner gets wise to him.”
“ He is the owner.”
“ Really?” Schaffer mopped his brow again. “I tell you, if I owned this place, I’d–”
“ But you don’t. And we’re not here to talk about the tavern business. Or are we?”
“ No.” Schaffer suddenly became fidgety. “I’m not so sure about this anymore.”
“ It’s okay. You can change your mind. No hard feelings.”
A certain small percentage of customers who got this far developed cold feet when the moment came to tell Repairman Jack exactly what they wanted him to fix for them. Jack didn’t think Schaffer would back out now. He wasn’t the type. But he’d probably want to dance a little first.
“ You’re not exactly what I expected,” Schaffer said.
“ I never am.”
Usually they expected either a glowering Charles Bronson type character or a real sleazo. And usually someone bigger. No one found Jack’s wiry medium frame, longish brown hair, and mild brown eyes particularly threatening. It used to depress him.
“ But you look like a...yuppie.”
Jack glanced down at his dark blue Izod sports shirt, beige slacks, brown loafers, sockless feet.
“ We’re on the Upper West Side, Mr. Schaffer. Yuppie Rome. And when in Rome...” Schaffer nodded grimly.
“ It’s my brother in law. He’s beating up on my sister.”
“ Seems like there’s a lot of that going around.”
People rarely sought out Jack for domestic problems, but this wouldn’t be the first wife beater he’d been asked to handle. He thought of Julio’s sister. Her husband had been pounding on her. That was how Jack had met Julio. They’d been friends ever since.
“ Maybe so. But I never thought it would happen to Ceilia. She’s so...”
His voice trailed off.
Jack said nothing. This was the time to keep quiet and listen. This was when he got a real feel for the customer.
“ I just don’t understand it. Gus seemed like such a good guy when they were dating and engaged. I liked him. An accountant, white collar, good job, clean hands, everything I wanted for Ceil. I helped him get his job. He’s done well. But he beats her.” Schaffer’s lips thinned as they drew back over his teeth. “Dammit, he beats the shit out of her. And you know what’s worse? She takes it! She’s put up with it for ten years!”
“ There are laws,” Jack said.
“ Right. Sure there are. But you’ve got to sign a complaint. Ceil won’t do that. She defends him, says he’s under a lot of pressure and sometimes he just loses control. She says most of the time it’s her fault because she gets him mad, and she shouldn’t get him mad. Can you believe that shit? She came over my place one night, two black eyes, a swollen jaw, red marks around her throat from where he was choking her. I lost it. I charged over their place ready to kill him with my bare hands. He’s a big guy, but I’m tough. And I’m sure he’s never been in a fight with someone who punches back. When I arrived screaming like a madman, he was ready for me. He had a couple of neighbors there and he was standing inside his front door with a baseball bat. Told me if I tried anything he’d defend himself, then call the cops and press charges for assault and battery. I told him if he came anywhere near my sister again, he wouldn’t have an unbroken bone left in his body to dial the phone with!”
“ Sounds like he knew you were coming.”
“ He did! That’s the really crazy part! He knew because Ceil had called from my
“ Is that decaf?” Schaffer asked. “I only drink decaf.”
“ Don’t have any,” Julio said as he finished pouring. He strutted back to the bar.
“ I can see why the place is deserted,” Schaffer said, glancing at Julio’s retreating form. “That guy’s downright rude.”
“ It doesn’t come naturally to him. He’s been practicing lately.”
“ Yeah? Well somebody ought to see that the owner gets wise to him.”
“ He is the owner.”
“ Really?” Schaffer mopped his brow again. “I tell you, if I owned this place, I’d–”
“ But you don’t. And we’re not here to talk about the tavern business. Or are we?”
“ No.” Schaffer suddenly became fidgety. “I’m not so sure about this anymore.”
“ It’s okay. You can change your mind. No hard feelings.”
A certain small percentage of customers who got this far developed cold feet when the moment came to tell Repairman Jack exactly what they wanted him to fix for them. Jack didn’t think Schaffer would back out now. He wasn’t the type. But he’d probably want to dance a little first.
“ You’re not exactly what I expected,” Schaffer said.
“ I never am.”
Usually they expected either a glowering Charles Bronson type character or a real sleazo. And usually someone bigger. No one found Jack’s wiry medium frame, longish brown hair, and mild brown eyes particularly threatening. It used to depress him.
“ But you look like a...yuppie.”
Jack glanced down at his dark blue Izod sports shirt, beige slacks, brown loafers, sockless feet.
“ We’re on the Upper West Side, Mr. Schaffer. Yuppie Rome. And when in Rome...” Schaffer nodded grimly.
“ It’s my brother in law. He’s beating up on my sister.”
“ Seems like there’s a lot of that going around.”
People rarely sought out Jack for domestic problems, but this wouldn’t be the first wife beater he’d been asked to handle. He thought of Julio’s sister. Her husband had been pounding on her. That was how Jack had met Julio. They’d been friends ever since.
“ Maybe so. But I never thought it would happen to Ceilia. She’s so...”
His voice trailed off.
Jack said nothing. This was the time to keep quiet and listen. This was when he got a real feel for the customer.
“ I just don’t understand it. Gus seemed like such a good guy when they were dating and engaged. I liked him. An accountant, white collar, good job, clean hands, everything I wanted for Ceil. I helped him get his job. He’s done well. But he beats her.” Schaffer’s lips thinned as they drew back over his teeth. “Dammit, he beats the shit out of her. And you know what’s worse? She takes it! She’s put up with it for ten years!”
“ There are laws,” Jack said.
“ Right. Sure there are. But you’ve got to sign a complaint. Ceil won’t do that. She defends him, says he’s under a lot of pressure and sometimes he just loses control. She says most of the time it’s her fault because she gets him mad, and she shouldn’t get him mad. Can you believe that shit? She came over my place one night, two black eyes, a swollen jaw, red marks around her throat from where he was choking her. I lost it. I charged over their place ready to kill him with my bare hands. He’s a big guy, but I’m tough. And I’m sure he’s never been in a fight with someone who punches back. When I arrived screaming like a madman, he was ready for me. He had a couple of neighbors there and he was standing inside his front door with a baseball bat. Told me if I tried anything he’d defend himself, then call the cops and press charges for assault and battery. I told him if he came anywhere near my sister again, he wouldn’t have an unbroken bone left in his body to dial the phone with!”
“ Sounds like he knew you were coming.”
“ He did! That’s the really crazy part! He knew because Ceil had called from my
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