bottle, which was just stupid, but we were all a bit pissed and Roz can really nag.
It was our own version and there was a lot of daring at first.
A tequila shot or three and then Roz dared Hugh to take off his top. She was giggling like a schoolgirl around him. I’m sure she fancies him—but he just laughed and did it.
And then it was my turn and I wasn’t sure if my bra was ready for inspection so when the bottle spun my way instead of saying Dare I said Truth .
‘How old were you when you lost it?’ Roz asked.
I could feel them stare at me, knew they were waiting for me to wriggle out of it, but I didn’t. I told the truth.
‘Seventeen.’
‘And?’
‘I’ve answered the question.’ I spun the bottle and it landed on Roz. ‘How old were you?’
‘Seventeen,’ Roz said.
‘And?’ Hugh asked, but Roz used my line. ‘I answered the question.’ She spun again and it landed on me.
‘And?’ Roz asked.
‘He was just a guy.’ I didn’t like this game. ‘Someone…’
‘And what was it like?’
‘Nice, I guess.’ My face was bright red. ‘It was on his living-room floor…’ I spun the bottle really fast and it landed on Hugh.
‘How old were you?’ Roz asked, and for the first time I saw Hugh blush.
‘Twenty.’ Hugh winced. ‘As you can imagine, there was a lot of wrist action—you try being ginger with glasses.’ For a second our eyes caught and I realised that neither of us were enjoying this. Only Roz was like a dog with a bone.
‘What’s your darkest secret?’ Roz asked when the bottle landed on me.
The answer was easy.
‘My credit cards.’
I was lying, apparently.
The bottle said that I was lying because it wobbled, and I laughed and did the right thing and had another shot of tequila, but I hated this game.
I fucking hated this game.
I just wanted to go to bed.
Except when I got there I couldn’t sleep.
I never can when I’ve played the piano—I mean really played—because it reminds me how much I miss it. I know I’ve got a piano and I can play it as often as I like, but I miss stretching myself, I miss learning. It should have been my career and instead I was stuck in poxy classifieds with my brain shrinking by the hour as I took down details of births, marriages and deaths and typed up funeral notices.
‘People will always die.’ Roz had grinned when I’d told her my concerns about work. ‘Anyway, you won’t always be there. You’re too smart, Alice.’ Always shenagged me—she was thirty-four, and if she could do it then so could I.
Ah, but Roz had a massive divorce settlement.
I had massive debts.
And anyway I could never imagine taking lessons again.
I could hear Roz snoring from the sofa. My stomach was hurting, cramping actually, and I know I sound like I’ve got Münchausen syndrome or something, what with my mad dash to Emergency and everything, but I’m as healthy as an ox really—well, apart from my limited upper-body strength. Really I’ve only been to hospital five times in my entire life, three of them for my breathing. I have a lot of sick days from work but that’s only because they’re there. But I do struggle with my periods. My first one I had a seizure! That was another trip in an ambulance.
As if getting your first period in the middle of cookery lesson isn’t bad enough. I went to the school nurse and she gave me this massive pad. Well, I wore it, but at lunchtime me and my friend Louise went to town and into the chemist for tampons. I felt all pale and shaky and I can’t remember anything other than that, but according to Louise I screamed and then had a convulsion and wet my pants right in the middle of Boots. It happened occasionally with a first period apparently, the doctor had explained to my frantic mother. It didn’t mean I was epileptic, so long as I didn’t have another one, which I didn’t. My mum was really nice to me around my periods after that and always watched out for me a bit more.
She was a
It was our own version and there was a lot of daring at first.
A tequila shot or three and then Roz dared Hugh to take off his top. She was giggling like a schoolgirl around him. I’m sure she fancies him—but he just laughed and did it.
And then it was my turn and I wasn’t sure if my bra was ready for inspection so when the bottle spun my way instead of saying Dare I said Truth .
‘How old were you when you lost it?’ Roz asked.
I could feel them stare at me, knew they were waiting for me to wriggle out of it, but I didn’t. I told the truth.
‘Seventeen.’
‘And?’
‘I’ve answered the question.’ I spun the bottle and it landed on Roz. ‘How old were you?’
‘Seventeen,’ Roz said.
‘And?’ Hugh asked, but Roz used my line. ‘I answered the question.’ She spun again and it landed on me.
‘And?’ Roz asked.
‘He was just a guy.’ I didn’t like this game. ‘Someone…’
‘And what was it like?’
‘Nice, I guess.’ My face was bright red. ‘It was on his living-room floor…’ I spun the bottle really fast and it landed on Hugh.
‘How old were you?’ Roz asked, and for the first time I saw Hugh blush.
‘Twenty.’ Hugh winced. ‘As you can imagine, there was a lot of wrist action—you try being ginger with glasses.’ For a second our eyes caught and I realised that neither of us were enjoying this. Only Roz was like a dog with a bone.
‘What’s your darkest secret?’ Roz asked when the bottle landed on me.
The answer was easy.
‘My credit cards.’
I was lying, apparently.
The bottle said that I was lying because it wobbled, and I laughed and did the right thing and had another shot of tequila, but I hated this game.
I fucking hated this game.
I just wanted to go to bed.
Except when I got there I couldn’t sleep.
I never can when I’ve played the piano—I mean really played—because it reminds me how much I miss it. I know I’ve got a piano and I can play it as often as I like, but I miss stretching myself, I miss learning. It should have been my career and instead I was stuck in poxy classifieds with my brain shrinking by the hour as I took down details of births, marriages and deaths and typed up funeral notices.
‘People will always die.’ Roz had grinned when I’d told her my concerns about work. ‘Anyway, you won’t always be there. You’re too smart, Alice.’ Always shenagged me—she was thirty-four, and if she could do it then so could I.
Ah, but Roz had a massive divorce settlement.
I had massive debts.
And anyway I could never imagine taking lessons again.
I could hear Roz snoring from the sofa. My stomach was hurting, cramping actually, and I know I sound like I’ve got Münchausen syndrome or something, what with my mad dash to Emergency and everything, but I’m as healthy as an ox really—well, apart from my limited upper-body strength. Really I’ve only been to hospital five times in my entire life, three of them for my breathing. I have a lot of sick days from work but that’s only because they’re there. But I do struggle with my periods. My first one I had a seizure! That was another trip in an ambulance.
As if getting your first period in the middle of cookery lesson isn’t bad enough. I went to the school nurse and she gave me this massive pad. Well, I wore it, but at lunchtime me and my friend Louise went to town and into the chemist for tampons. I felt all pale and shaky and I can’t remember anything other than that, but according to Louise I screamed and then had a convulsion and wet my pants right in the middle of Boots. It happened occasionally with a first period apparently, the doctor had explained to my frantic mother. It didn’t mean I was epileptic, so long as I didn’t have another one, which I didn’t. My mum was really nice to me around my periods after that and always watched out for me a bit more.
She was a
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