back to big green chair, stuff file in my backpack. I'm wiping sweat off my forehead when Ms Weiss walk back in room.
"It is hot in here, isn't it?" she say.
"Yeah," I say. She hand me soda. I say thank you.
"Anything come up while I was gone?"
Shake my head.
"You know you can use your notebook in between
sessions—"
"I do."
"I mean you can use it specifically for something like this, trying to recover your first memory of your mother."
I already know what I'm gonna recover, the smell of Mama's pussy in my face.
"What're you thinking?"
"Nothing."
"Well let me know what comes up for you during the week. Write it in your notebook OK?"
"OK."
"You know your mother's been calling here wanting to come visit."
"No, I didn't know that."
"Would you like to have her come into a counseling session with you?"
"I don't know, I never think about it before."
"Well one more thing to think about before I see you next week."
Get up, grab my backpack. "Bye," I say. Go upstairs to pay phones outside nursery, call Rita, she not home yet, she probably at one of her meetings. Call Jermaine, she home, don't tell her what I done did, jus' say it's real important can she git over here. She say yes.
When she git here I pull file out backpack, don't know why I didn't want to read it alone. Don't know if it's because I'm afraid of what it will say or if I'm afraid I won't be able to read it, maybe both. I start reading.
"I have just finished a session with Claireece Precious Jones. Precious, as she likes to be called, (I guess so bitch it's my name!) is an eighteen-year-old African
American female. According to her teachers at Each One Teach One where she attends school she is a (I don't know what that word is!) p-h-e-n-o-m-e-n-a-1 success." (Jermaine lean over my shoulder, say she not sure about that one herself but judging from the contents it must be good!)
"Having made strides so tre— men ...
tremendous! in the past year she was given the mayor's award for outstanding achievement. She seems to be actively en ..." ("Engaged,"
Jermaine say) "in all aspects of the learning process? However, (oh oh, when white bitch start with however!) her TABE test scores are disappointingly low." ("Not to Ms Rain! Not to Ms Rain!" I say.) "She scored 2.8 on her last test." ("So what! Ms Rain—" Jermaine interrupt,
"Git a grip and gon' read the report and don't get all emotional about what this piece of shit white bitch got to say. Anyway, if your shit wasn't dope you wouldn't be standin' up here readin' what, what's her name?" "Ms Weiss." "What Ms Weiss got to say.") "She will need at least an 8.0 before she can enter G.E.D. class and begin work toward her high school e-q ..." ("Equivalency,"
Jermaine say. I wanna say, I know, don't tell me the word 'less I ax! But I never say anything like that to Jermaine.)
"Abdul is the client's (oh, now I'm the client) second child; born in 1988, he's from all outwhere" (Jermaine say, "That's 'outward' ")
"OK, from all outward appearances, a healthy and well adjusted toddler (he's a boy!). Precious attends to his needs a-s-s-i-d-u-o-s-l-y (whatever!) and with great affection and ee-" ("Eagerly," Jermaine say) "seeks any and all information on child rearing. (I guess so I'm his mother!) The client..." (I'm the client again! I feel bullshit coming. I actually feel sick. I hand the papers to Jermaine tell her, "Finish reading.")
"The client talks about her desire to get her G.E.D. and go to college.
"The time and resources it would require for this young woman to get a G.E.D. or into college would be considerable. Although she is in school now, it is not a job readiness program. Almost all instruction seems to revolve around language ac-" (Jermaine spelling now) "q, a-kwi-si-tion acquisition!" ("What that?" I ask. "You know, to get. Language acquisition, to get some language.") "The teacher, Ms Rain, places great emphasis on writing and reading books. Little work is done with computers or the
"It is hot in here, isn't it?" she say.
"Yeah," I say. She hand me soda. I say thank you.
"Anything come up while I was gone?"
Shake my head.
"You know you can use your notebook in between
sessions—"
"I do."
"I mean you can use it specifically for something like this, trying to recover your first memory of your mother."
I already know what I'm gonna recover, the smell of Mama's pussy in my face.
"What're you thinking?"
"Nothing."
"Well let me know what comes up for you during the week. Write it in your notebook OK?"
"OK."
"You know your mother's been calling here wanting to come visit."
"No, I didn't know that."
"Would you like to have her come into a counseling session with you?"
"I don't know, I never think about it before."
"Well one more thing to think about before I see you next week."
Get up, grab my backpack. "Bye," I say. Go upstairs to pay phones outside nursery, call Rita, she not home yet, she probably at one of her meetings. Call Jermaine, she home, don't tell her what I done did, jus' say it's real important can she git over here. She say yes.
When she git here I pull file out backpack, don't know why I didn't want to read it alone. Don't know if it's because I'm afraid of what it will say or if I'm afraid I won't be able to read it, maybe both. I start reading.
"I have just finished a session with Claireece Precious Jones. Precious, as she likes to be called, (I guess so bitch it's my name!) is an eighteen-year-old African
American female. According to her teachers at Each One Teach One where she attends school she is a (I don't know what that word is!) p-h-e-n-o-m-e-n-a-1 success." (Jermaine lean over my shoulder, say she not sure about that one herself but judging from the contents it must be good!)
"Having made strides so tre— men ...
tremendous! in the past year she was given the mayor's award for outstanding achievement. She seems to be actively en ..." ("Engaged,"
Jermaine say) "in all aspects of the learning process? However, (oh oh, when white bitch start with however!) her TABE test scores are disappointingly low." ("Not to Ms Rain! Not to Ms Rain!" I say.) "She scored 2.8 on her last test." ("So what! Ms Rain—" Jermaine interrupt,
"Git a grip and gon' read the report and don't get all emotional about what this piece of shit white bitch got to say. Anyway, if your shit wasn't dope you wouldn't be standin' up here readin' what, what's her name?" "Ms Weiss." "What Ms Weiss got to say.") "She will need at least an 8.0 before she can enter G.E.D. class and begin work toward her high school e-q ..." ("Equivalency,"
Jermaine say. I wanna say, I know, don't tell me the word 'less I ax! But I never say anything like that to Jermaine.)
"Abdul is the client's (oh, now I'm the client) second child; born in 1988, he's from all outwhere" (Jermaine say, "That's 'outward' ")
"OK, from all outward appearances, a healthy and well adjusted toddler (he's a boy!). Precious attends to his needs a-s-s-i-d-u-o-s-l-y (whatever!) and with great affection and ee-" ("Eagerly," Jermaine say) "seeks any and all information on child rearing. (I guess so I'm his mother!) The client..." (I'm the client again! I feel bullshit coming. I actually feel sick. I hand the papers to Jermaine tell her, "Finish reading.")
"The client talks about her desire to get her G.E.D. and go to college.
"The time and resources it would require for this young woman to get a G.E.D. or into college would be considerable. Although she is in school now, it is not a job readiness program. Almost all instruction seems to revolve around language ac-" (Jermaine spelling now) "q, a-kwi-si-tion acquisition!" ("What that?" I ask. "You know, to get. Language acquisition, to get some language.") "The teacher, Ms Rain, places great emphasis on writing and reading books. Little work is done with computers or the
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