blurry.
“Last stop.”
I get out and drag my feet to the bench just outside to where people normally sit and wait to be taken somewhere; I sit and don’t know where to go. What do I do next? I don’t want to go home anymore because Liam surrounds me there. The pub is not an option. Char and Travis are on a date night, and I don’t want to ruin that. Especially since she’s pregnant again.
Pregnant. God, what am I going to do?
Without even realizing it, I’m rubbing my stomach again, so I get up and walk. Whatever part of my brain is still functional is telling me this is a bad idea. It’s late at night and I’m walking by myself. At this point, I don’t care if something happens to me. But it’s not just me anymore, is it? I have a baby. A baby I will raise on my own because I refuse to allow a drug around my child, even if he is the father.
I’ve made it to a park surrounded by trees and bushes. A bitter laugh rises up when I think about the last time I was leaned up against a tree with Liam. His words, the promises passing through his lips of loving me forever and never wanting to let me go, and him pointing to our initials carved into the bark.
I tilt my head and walk up to a large maple tree, one that looks so similar to my treehouse tree. His face, his smile, his words, the soft touches, and now broken promises all transform into the trunk. My fists pound into the bark and I slip in the soil, causing me to fall into the prickly bushes around the tree. The same time the thorns stab my skin, my wrist throbs. I try to push myself up, but the pain is too much. Not just physical, but every emotion I never thought I would feel leaves me a pile of flesh and bones, curled up on the cold ground. Blurry.
* * *
“Miss? Are you all right?” A male voice rumbles through my ears. “Miss?”
“We should call the police,” responds the frantic voice of a female, somewhere close to me.
“Is she alive?”
A kind face appears in front of me and warm hands grab my arm and touch my wrist. I flinch at the pain.
“Yeah, she looks in shock.”
The deeper voice turns to static in the background as I focus on the woman in front of me. She has a really cute bob. Her hair is about the same color as mine, maybe a little darker. I think I’m going to dye mine black. She pulls off red lipstick, though. I never could. Crazy hair colors, tattoos, and piercings were always it for me. But I don’t want red hair anymore. I see her lips move and even though it’s dark outside, the lights are bright enough that I can see clearly. She’s talking to me, but I can’t hear what she’s saying.
A siren sounds in the distance, getting closer with every second, and before long, I’m being placed on a stretcher and wheeled into the back of an ambulance. I think they’re asking me questions. Who else would they be talking to? A sudden prick makes my eyes flash to my right arm where they’re putting a needle in it. They roll my body to the side and remove my purse from across my chest.
I hear my name called. Who’s here? My neck turns to the side and my eyes catch with a paramedic. His soft brown eyes are clear as day behind his lenses, and they look into mine. He asks what happened, and I try to remember.
I went to see Liam tonight. He was great onstage. Then after the show. I saw Jamie. Liam using. Again. I’m pregnant with his baby. Leaning over the sink. Powder. That’s right. Then I left. I took a train, right? Or did I walk?
Everything blurs again, and I remember being on the train. Looking out the window. Blurry. The brief memories I just had are gone now, and everything is blurry again.
I’m being moved now. “Female. Age twenty-five. Lacerations. Possible broken wrist.” Bright lights even behind my closed lids force them shut tighter.
Blurry. Everything’s blurry.
“Ma’am.”
“Can you hear me, miss?”
So many voices, so much movement.
Everything blurs again, and then it goes black.
* * *
Why is
“Last stop.”
I get out and drag my feet to the bench just outside to where people normally sit and wait to be taken somewhere; I sit and don’t know where to go. What do I do next? I don’t want to go home anymore because Liam surrounds me there. The pub is not an option. Char and Travis are on a date night, and I don’t want to ruin that. Especially since she’s pregnant again.
Pregnant. God, what am I going to do?
Without even realizing it, I’m rubbing my stomach again, so I get up and walk. Whatever part of my brain is still functional is telling me this is a bad idea. It’s late at night and I’m walking by myself. At this point, I don’t care if something happens to me. But it’s not just me anymore, is it? I have a baby. A baby I will raise on my own because I refuse to allow a drug around my child, even if he is the father.
I’ve made it to a park surrounded by trees and bushes. A bitter laugh rises up when I think about the last time I was leaned up against a tree with Liam. His words, the promises passing through his lips of loving me forever and never wanting to let me go, and him pointing to our initials carved into the bark.
I tilt my head and walk up to a large maple tree, one that looks so similar to my treehouse tree. His face, his smile, his words, the soft touches, and now broken promises all transform into the trunk. My fists pound into the bark and I slip in the soil, causing me to fall into the prickly bushes around the tree. The same time the thorns stab my skin, my wrist throbs. I try to push myself up, but the pain is too much. Not just physical, but every emotion I never thought I would feel leaves me a pile of flesh and bones, curled up on the cold ground. Blurry.
* * *
“Miss? Are you all right?” A male voice rumbles through my ears. “Miss?”
“We should call the police,” responds the frantic voice of a female, somewhere close to me.
“Is she alive?”
A kind face appears in front of me and warm hands grab my arm and touch my wrist. I flinch at the pain.
“Yeah, she looks in shock.”
The deeper voice turns to static in the background as I focus on the woman in front of me. She has a really cute bob. Her hair is about the same color as mine, maybe a little darker. I think I’m going to dye mine black. She pulls off red lipstick, though. I never could. Crazy hair colors, tattoos, and piercings were always it for me. But I don’t want red hair anymore. I see her lips move and even though it’s dark outside, the lights are bright enough that I can see clearly. She’s talking to me, but I can’t hear what she’s saying.
A siren sounds in the distance, getting closer with every second, and before long, I’m being placed on a stretcher and wheeled into the back of an ambulance. I think they’re asking me questions. Who else would they be talking to? A sudden prick makes my eyes flash to my right arm where they’re putting a needle in it. They roll my body to the side and remove my purse from across my chest.
I hear my name called. Who’s here? My neck turns to the side and my eyes catch with a paramedic. His soft brown eyes are clear as day behind his lenses, and they look into mine. He asks what happened, and I try to remember.
I went to see Liam tonight. He was great onstage. Then after the show. I saw Jamie. Liam using. Again. I’m pregnant with his baby. Leaning over the sink. Powder. That’s right. Then I left. I took a train, right? Or did I walk?
Everything blurs again, and I remember being on the train. Looking out the window. Blurry. The brief memories I just had are gone now, and everything is blurry again.
I’m being moved now. “Female. Age twenty-five. Lacerations. Possible broken wrist.” Bright lights even behind my closed lids force them shut tighter.
Blurry. Everything’s blurry.
“Ma’am.”
“Can you hear me, miss?”
So many voices, so much movement.
Everything blurs again, and then it goes black.
* * *
Why is
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