half-empty tray on a random chair and wiped my palms on my skirt. I was so panicked I thought I might vomit. Or wet myself. Or both. What if Josh had seen us leave the room? What if Noelle had? What if Missy had seen us and told everyone? Which was so something she'd do. I instantly thought of that as-yet-unopened folder on the Billings CD. If Missy decided to wage war, I'd have the ammo to fight back. But why was I thinking about this now? Now, when my fingers were completely enveloped in Dash's warm, strong hand? When Josh was waiting for me in the kitchen.
He ducked into an alcove, then looked out and double-checked the hallway. "We're alone," he said fervently. I just looked at him. I didn't know what to say. Why had he brought me here? Why the intensity?
He's just going to tell me he's back together with Noelle. That they were, I don't know, apart for a while and now they're back together. Or he's going to warn me, now that she's back, to not tell her we've been corresponding.
As if I needed that particular caveat. "You didn't e-mail me back this week," he said. His eyes were sad. Dare I say desperate?
I pressed my hands into the cool wall behind me, grounding myself. "I--" "I was worried something happened to you," he said, taking a step closer to me. "Are you okay?" I had no idea what to make of this. "I'm fine," I said, acutely aware that mere inches separated us. He seemed confused for a moment, but then his face cleared and he blew out a breath.
"Good. Okay. Good," he said, cupping the back of his neck with his hand. He turned away from me and tipped his head back as if he was struggling with something, working his neck muscles with his fingers. When he looked at me again, his eyes searched mine. "Reed, there's something you need to know." Suddenly, I felt so disloyal I wanted to die. Just the sound of his deep, confident voice saying my name sent shivers through me. All I wanted was to hear him say my name again and again. How could I feel this way? I loved Josh. I knew I loved Josh. But standing this close to Dash...
"I know we never say anything like this to each other. I've avoided it up until now. But you should know that Noelle and I are not together." I took a step back. Now all of me pressed into the wall. It was the only way to keep myself upright. He actually liked me. Why else would he tell me this? Why else would he be looking at me with such obvious longing in his eyes? "Does that have any effect on you whatsoever?" he asked. This was it.
The moment of truth. What I said right now could define me forever. I was either going to be a loyal, trustworthy girlfriend, or an unfaithful fiend. "No," I said, lifting my chin. My voice cracked, dammit. I cleared it and tried again. "Why should it?" Dash was clearly stunned. Hurt. He drew himself up and looked at me incredulously. "Oh. Okay. My mistake," he said. He turned, but then looked back at me again as if I were an apparition. "I just thought... No. Forget it."
He turned to go. Something inside of me snapped and I shoved myself away from the wall. I couldn't let him leave. Not yet. Not like this. I hated that I had hurt him. "Dash, wait," I blurted. He stopped but didn't turn around. I could hear him breathing. "We're still friends, right?" I said. Pathetic, I know. But what else could I say? "Friends." He laughed derisively. Then he turned around and backed me right into the wall again. So fast
I barely even saw it coming. My heart pounded in my throat as he braced his hands above my head and leaned in toward me. My chest heaved up a down, up and down. My brain went hazy.
His lips were inches from mine. Millimeters. I stared into his eyes, lost. No control. No control. No control.
He loomed even closer. Every last inch of me throbbed. I could practically taste his breath. Dash McCafferty was going to kiss me. Dash McCafferty was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him. He smiled. My heart stopped. "Sure," he whispered,
He ducked into an alcove, then looked out and double-checked the hallway. "We're alone," he said fervently. I just looked at him. I didn't know what to say. Why had he brought me here? Why the intensity?
He's just going to tell me he's back together with Noelle. That they were, I don't know, apart for a while and now they're back together. Or he's going to warn me, now that she's back, to not tell her we've been corresponding.
As if I needed that particular caveat. "You didn't e-mail me back this week," he said. His eyes were sad. Dare I say desperate?
I pressed my hands into the cool wall behind me, grounding myself. "I--" "I was worried something happened to you," he said, taking a step closer to me. "Are you okay?" I had no idea what to make of this. "I'm fine," I said, acutely aware that mere inches separated us. He seemed confused for a moment, but then his face cleared and he blew out a breath.
"Good. Okay. Good," he said, cupping the back of his neck with his hand. He turned away from me and tipped his head back as if he was struggling with something, working his neck muscles with his fingers. When he looked at me again, his eyes searched mine. "Reed, there's something you need to know." Suddenly, I felt so disloyal I wanted to die. Just the sound of his deep, confident voice saying my name sent shivers through me. All I wanted was to hear him say my name again and again. How could I feel this way? I loved Josh. I knew I loved Josh. But standing this close to Dash...
"I know we never say anything like this to each other. I've avoided it up until now. But you should know that Noelle and I are not together." I took a step back. Now all of me pressed into the wall. It was the only way to keep myself upright. He actually liked me. Why else would he tell me this? Why else would he be looking at me with such obvious longing in his eyes? "Does that have any effect on you whatsoever?" he asked. This was it.
The moment of truth. What I said right now could define me forever. I was either going to be a loyal, trustworthy girlfriend, or an unfaithful fiend. "No," I said, lifting my chin. My voice cracked, dammit. I cleared it and tried again. "Why should it?" Dash was clearly stunned. Hurt. He drew himself up and looked at me incredulously. "Oh. Okay. My mistake," he said. He turned, but then looked back at me again as if I were an apparition. "I just thought... No. Forget it."
He turned to go. Something inside of me snapped and I shoved myself away from the wall. I couldn't let him leave. Not yet. Not like this. I hated that I had hurt him. "Dash, wait," I blurted. He stopped but didn't turn around. I could hear him breathing. "We're still friends, right?" I said. Pathetic, I know. But what else could I say? "Friends." He laughed derisively. Then he turned around and backed me right into the wall again. So fast
I barely even saw it coming. My heart pounded in my throat as he braced his hands above my head and leaned in toward me. My chest heaved up a down, up and down. My brain went hazy.
His lips were inches from mine. Millimeters. I stared into his eyes, lost. No control. No control. No control.
He loomed even closer. Every last inch of me throbbed. I could practically taste his breath. Dash McCafferty was going to kiss me. Dash McCafferty was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him. He smiled. My heart stopped. "Sure," he whispered,
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