Prison Ramen: Recipes and Stories from Behind Bars by Clifton Collins Page B
Authors: Clifton Collins
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and I used my cell. As it brewed, I left the cell as little as possible.
On the sixth day, the smell was pretty strong and reaching beyond my cell walls. When the CO walked by, delivering mail, I thought my brewing days were over, but he kept on walking. Then he stopped, turned around, and waved the mail from side to side in front of his face. “It better be gone before my shift is over.” Right away, I began to strain the pruno and pour it into all the empty tumblers I had. It was a day too early, but it would have to do.
Once the yard was open, I motioned to my other two homies that we had to start the party early! We wrapped bandanas around our tumblers and found an empty area around the baseball bleachers. Other homies started to show up; one brought a radio playing some old-school jams and another brought some smokes. Man, for a little while I didn’t see the concrete wall that surrounded us or the gun tower just above us. Just hanging out with the homies, enjoying laughs and pouring out a bit of pruno to the ones we’d lost.
That night in my cell, I stunk like duck butter and pickle juice! Feeding the sharks and puking at the same time, it’s hard to say it was worth it. Jailhouse hooch makes for a wicked hangover.
Killer Pruno
Ingredients
20 oranges, cut in half
1 cup fruit punch drink
70 packets (1 teaspoon each) sugar (about 1½ cups total)
4 packets (0.39 ounces each) ketchup (about 3 tablespoons)
1 large slice bread (any kind—it provides the fermentation)
4 cups boiling water
1. Squeeze the oranges into a large, heavy-duty plastic bag, allowing a few orange pieces to fall into the bag. Do not use a zip-top or resealable bag; it will explode.
2. Add the fruit punch, sugar, ketchup, and bread.
3. Close the bag and tie a knot.
4. Remove the ink stick from a Bic pen. Use the empty chamber to poke a hole in the bag, leaving it in place. This will allow the pruno to breathe; otherwise, the bag might inflate and explode. A straw also works.
5. Place the bag in a bucket and pour the water around it. Cover the top of the bucket with a folded blanket or towel.
6. Once a day for the next 7 days, replace the hot water in the bucket. Keep it covered.
7. After a week, strain the pruno through a clean (or dirty) sock, removing the fruit clumps and bread. If you have a fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth, you’re probably not in prison.
Hangover Cure
T he Fish Bowl was a must after a long night of getting wasted, especially after drinking pruno. Usually, we didn’t make pruno just for the hell of it. It was mostly for times of celebration—like a birthday or when a good friend is getting ready to parole. Sometimes these parties can end up really bad. When a lifer friend of mine we called Trouble was granted a release date, man, it was a party. Not only did we have pruno, but also a kitchen worker brought us a fifth of vodka. When you have a party with a bunch of opposing gang members, including killers, and serve pruno with vodka shots—it’s all bad! These guys are sworn enemies on the street. A lot of blood has been shed between them, and once liquor gets involved, old grudges seem to surface.
Most of these parties are in the kitchen area, behind closed doors. Free staff and COs turn a blind eye to the very vicious fights between old enemies. When we beat one another up, the COs don’t have to. Luckily, my friend Trouble didn’t get too wasted. It would have been a shame if he’d lost his chance at freedom over some drunk night in prison.
After a night like this, I’d wake up with the nastiest hangover. That’s when Plato de Pescado was a must. The spices in this dish clean you up and get you back on your toes.
Plato de Pescado
(Fish Bowl)
Ingredients
1 pack shrimp flavor Ramen
¼ cup instant white rice
About 1½ cups boiling water
2 cans (4 ounces each) mackerel, drained
1 can (4 ounces) smoked oysters
1 summer sausage (about 9 ounces), chopped, or 1 can (9 ounces) Vienna sausage,
On the sixth day, the smell was pretty strong and reaching beyond my cell walls. When the CO walked by, delivering mail, I thought my brewing days were over, but he kept on walking. Then he stopped, turned around, and waved the mail from side to side in front of his face. “It better be gone before my shift is over.” Right away, I began to strain the pruno and pour it into all the empty tumblers I had. It was a day too early, but it would have to do.
Once the yard was open, I motioned to my other two homies that we had to start the party early! We wrapped bandanas around our tumblers and found an empty area around the baseball bleachers. Other homies started to show up; one brought a radio playing some old-school jams and another brought some smokes. Man, for a little while I didn’t see the concrete wall that surrounded us or the gun tower just above us. Just hanging out with the homies, enjoying laughs and pouring out a bit of pruno to the ones we’d lost.
That night in my cell, I stunk like duck butter and pickle juice! Feeding the sharks and puking at the same time, it’s hard to say it was worth it. Jailhouse hooch makes for a wicked hangover.
Killer Pruno
Ingredients
20 oranges, cut in half
1 cup fruit punch drink
70 packets (1 teaspoon each) sugar (about 1½ cups total)
4 packets (0.39 ounces each) ketchup (about 3 tablespoons)
1 large slice bread (any kind—it provides the fermentation)
4 cups boiling water
1. Squeeze the oranges into a large, heavy-duty plastic bag, allowing a few orange pieces to fall into the bag. Do not use a zip-top or resealable bag; it will explode.
2. Add the fruit punch, sugar, ketchup, and bread.
3. Close the bag and tie a knot.
4. Remove the ink stick from a Bic pen. Use the empty chamber to poke a hole in the bag, leaving it in place. This will allow the pruno to breathe; otherwise, the bag might inflate and explode. A straw also works.
5. Place the bag in a bucket and pour the water around it. Cover the top of the bucket with a folded blanket or towel.
6. Once a day for the next 7 days, replace the hot water in the bucket. Keep it covered.
7. After a week, strain the pruno through a clean (or dirty) sock, removing the fruit clumps and bread. If you have a fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth, you’re probably not in prison.
Hangover Cure
T he Fish Bowl was a must after a long night of getting wasted, especially after drinking pruno. Usually, we didn’t make pruno just for the hell of it. It was mostly for times of celebration—like a birthday or when a good friend is getting ready to parole. Sometimes these parties can end up really bad. When a lifer friend of mine we called Trouble was granted a release date, man, it was a party. Not only did we have pruno, but also a kitchen worker brought us a fifth of vodka. When you have a party with a bunch of opposing gang members, including killers, and serve pruno with vodka shots—it’s all bad! These guys are sworn enemies on the street. A lot of blood has been shed between them, and once liquor gets involved, old grudges seem to surface.
Most of these parties are in the kitchen area, behind closed doors. Free staff and COs turn a blind eye to the very vicious fights between old enemies. When we beat one another up, the COs don’t have to. Luckily, my friend Trouble didn’t get too wasted. It would have been a shame if he’d lost his chance at freedom over some drunk night in prison.
After a night like this, I’d wake up with the nastiest hangover. That’s when Plato de Pescado was a must. The spices in this dish clean you up and get you back on your toes.
Plato de Pescado
(Fish Bowl)
Ingredients
1 pack shrimp flavor Ramen
¼ cup instant white rice
About 1½ cups boiling water
2 cans (4 ounces each) mackerel, drained
1 can (4 ounces) smoked oysters
1 summer sausage (about 9 ounces), chopped, or 1 can (9 ounces) Vienna sausage,
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