PRIDE: A Bad Boy and Amish Girl Romance (The Brody Bunch#1) by Sienna Valentine Page B

certainly don’t owe him anything, either—not for doing what’s right. Don’t ever let a man make you feel that way, Sarah. I mean it—because oh, they’ll try. They’ll make you feel like you’re this… undertaking and that the sun shines out of their ass, if they can. But we know better, don’t we? Say that you do.”
    I stared at her a moment, at her pleading eyes, trying to comprehend why this was so important to her. It was sound advice, to be sure, but why did Hannah sound so urgent? I nodded, and the tension in her face passed.
    “It isn’t just what happened with Reid that kept me up, though,” I continued. I was slowly getting accustomed to the coffee and taking more frequent sips as we talked. “I was thinking of other things about last night, too. Everything new I learned. Everything I didn’t, but wondered about. I’m still wondering—it’s all so new, so shiny, so… frightening, in a way. But even though I’m not completely comfortable with what I’ve experienced so far, I feel… curious about it, too. I want to know more about the English world, Hannah.” I blushed fiercely. “Does that make me a bad daughter?”
    She reached across the table and grasped my hand. “Hey. No. Of course not. What you’re feeling is perfectly natural—I experienced the same thing when I left home. This is your Rumspringa, Sarah. You’re entitled to explore. You shouldn’t let the hang-ups of our community hold you back from that.” Gently, she squeezed my fingers. “There’s so much about this place I know you’ll learn to love, if you just give it a chance. Immerse yourself. Leave the teachings behind.”
    Though I hadn’t intended to, I pulled away from her. “I can’t,” I said. The thought alone felt like some kind of blasphemy. “I can’t forget what I believe in. I know you have, but it’s not so easy for me.” I winced at the expression on Hannah’s face. “I don’t mean to judge you, sister. You’ve just… always been so headstrong. So self-assured. You’ve always believed that you were doing the right thing, no matter what that thing was. I’m not like you, in that way. I know that disappoints you…”
    “It does not,” Hannah insisted, her tone firm yet gentle. “You’re your own person, Sarah. How could I begrudge you that? Besides, you’re the responsible one. Growing up between Beth on one side and me on the other, you had to be. Someone had to rein us in. Clean up our messes. Well, besides Mother.” She smiled ruefully. “How is she?”
    “She misses you,” I told her. “Father won’t let her talk about it, but I know she does. She… spends a lot of time looking out the window. I think she’s waiting…”
    For a moment, Hannah’s eyes misted. They took on this faraway look I’d seen before, a mimicry of the exact expression I’d seen on our mother’s face every time I caught her staring into the distance, past the fields and the fences and toward the road, knowing she was thinking of Hannah—our sister with no name and no memory. Not one approved or acknowledged by Father, at least. I had no idea how he could be so cruel. How he could just expect us to forget a family member—a daughter, a sister. Especially since it was clear to me that he hadn’t forgotten Hannah, either. Father thought he hid his emotions well, but he wasn’t always aware anyone was watching.
    After a lengthy silence, Hannah nodded. “I miss her too. I wish I could…” She trailed off, and when she spoke again, she’d changed the subject. “While you’re here, I want you to forget all those responsibilities you had to take on. You’re a young woman, Sarah Miller. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. It’s about damn time you started living it the way you see fit. Don’t lose that spark of curiosity just because Father worked so hard to extinguish it.”
    “That’s not fair,” I said with a frown. “Father isn’t perfect, but he’s never done anything to make