me. She seemed puzzled by the tears.
She stretched out her arms, indicating that she wanted me to reach for her and pull her into the back seat. I did. I held on to her, and she comforted me. I rocked my daughter, and the anguish I felt gushed forth like a sudden thunderstorm. I cried hard. Soon, Savannah was crying with me. Not long after that, Dorothy and Keyth began to cry, too. The remarkable thing was that my daughter didnât ask me why I was crying.Amazingly, she just sympathized without explanation. I loved her more, if that were possible, for allowing me to cry without my having to tell her anything.
We were finally home. Keyth brought our bags into the house, then left to take his mother home. When he returned, we all stretched out on our big bed and mourned my fatherâs passing. For the first time since the assassinations began, I didnât think about them or about âSusan Lucci,â as we had dubbed her.
CHAPTER 34
I BURIED MY FATHER three days later. In the days before that, as we prepared for the funeral, I tried to remember all that was good about him and us. The time we had spent in China was foremost on my mind. It was there I learned to speak Mandarin and Cantonese. Learning about the Chinese culture was a great experience.
When we returned to the United States, my exposure to Eastern philosophy enabled me to be a better American. From the monks, I had learned the meaning of tolerance. When one is able to look at oneâs self and see oneâs self, only then can one know what true tolerance is. It was the ability to see my own attitude, my own selfishness, my own intolerance that allowed me to accept Phoenix first and then those whom I met on the way to self-actualization.
My father was given full military honors because of his time in the Navy. I was surprised to see President Davidson at Arlington Cemetery. Many other representatives from the intelligence community attended, too. While I appreciated the gesture, I wished the President had not come. Everywhere he goes and everything he does becomes a national event.
Consequently, the media was there, filming my familyâs grief. I wanted to knock their cameras out of my face.
A crowd of people I had never met surrounded the grave site. My father evidently had a lot of friends whom I didnât know. One particular couple really stood out. They werenât talking to anyone, not even to each other.The man was black, and the woman with him was Asian. They were well dressed and accompanied by two tough-looking black men. I assumed they were bodyguards. I felt my FBI instincts start to kick in, but I didnât want them to. This wasnât the time or the place to think about investigating people. However, it did give me an idea that I would later explore.
The honor guard fired their rifles in unison with military precision. I was startled when I heard the first shot. I looked at Savannah, taking in all the pageantry of her grandfatherâs funeral. I donât think she fully understood the finality of death yet. At some point, she would wonder; then she would ask her father or me why Granddaddy didnât come to pick her up and take her to the zoo anymore. Keyth and I would deal with her awakening together as a family.
President Davidson personally presented the flag to me, and a million lights flashed in my eyes. Somehow, I knew the pictures would end up in The Washington Post the next day.
âIâm sorry about this media fiasco, Phoenix,â Davidson whispered in my ear. I thanked him, and he left me to grieve, taking the members of the media with him.
As he left, I felt for him. He was trying to do a good thing, taking time out to express his condolences. Tomorrow, the media would say his coming here was only a photo opportunity to boost his ratings. The appointment of another conservative black woman to the bench was still haunting him. I admired him for being a strong leader. The last thing the country
She stretched out her arms, indicating that she wanted me to reach for her and pull her into the back seat. I did. I held on to her, and she comforted me. I rocked my daughter, and the anguish I felt gushed forth like a sudden thunderstorm. I cried hard. Soon, Savannah was crying with me. Not long after that, Dorothy and Keyth began to cry, too. The remarkable thing was that my daughter didnât ask me why I was crying.Amazingly, she just sympathized without explanation. I loved her more, if that were possible, for allowing me to cry without my having to tell her anything.
We were finally home. Keyth brought our bags into the house, then left to take his mother home. When he returned, we all stretched out on our big bed and mourned my fatherâs passing. For the first time since the assassinations began, I didnât think about them or about âSusan Lucci,â as we had dubbed her.
CHAPTER 34
I BURIED MY FATHER three days later. In the days before that, as we prepared for the funeral, I tried to remember all that was good about him and us. The time we had spent in China was foremost on my mind. It was there I learned to speak Mandarin and Cantonese. Learning about the Chinese culture was a great experience.
When we returned to the United States, my exposure to Eastern philosophy enabled me to be a better American. From the monks, I had learned the meaning of tolerance. When one is able to look at oneâs self and see oneâs self, only then can one know what true tolerance is. It was the ability to see my own attitude, my own selfishness, my own intolerance that allowed me to accept Phoenix first and then those whom I met on the way to self-actualization.
My father was given full military honors because of his time in the Navy. I was surprised to see President Davidson at Arlington Cemetery. Many other representatives from the intelligence community attended, too. While I appreciated the gesture, I wished the President had not come. Everywhere he goes and everything he does becomes a national event.
Consequently, the media was there, filming my familyâs grief. I wanted to knock their cameras out of my face.
A crowd of people I had never met surrounded the grave site. My father evidently had a lot of friends whom I didnât know. One particular couple really stood out. They werenât talking to anyone, not even to each other.The man was black, and the woman with him was Asian. They were well dressed and accompanied by two tough-looking black men. I assumed they were bodyguards. I felt my FBI instincts start to kick in, but I didnât want them to. This wasnât the time or the place to think about investigating people. However, it did give me an idea that I would later explore.
The honor guard fired their rifles in unison with military precision. I was startled when I heard the first shot. I looked at Savannah, taking in all the pageantry of her grandfatherâs funeral. I donât think she fully understood the finality of death yet. At some point, she would wonder; then she would ask her father or me why Granddaddy didnât come to pick her up and take her to the zoo anymore. Keyth and I would deal with her awakening together as a family.
President Davidson personally presented the flag to me, and a million lights flashed in my eyes. Somehow, I knew the pictures would end up in The Washington Post the next day.
âIâm sorry about this media fiasco, Phoenix,â Davidson whispered in my ear. I thanked him, and he left me to grieve, taking the members of the media with him.
As he left, I felt for him. He was trying to do a good thing, taking time out to express his condolences. Tomorrow, the media would say his coming here was only a photo opportunity to boost his ratings. The appointment of another conservative black woman to the bench was still haunting him. I admired him for being a strong leader. The last thing the country
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