again, and she stopped.
“Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here,” Sadie said softly.
Jessica sniffed. “You know, since I’m already crying I might as well say this.” She managed a weak laugh. “I’m really, really glad you’re here, Sadie. Seriously. I like the other girls, but it’s hard being around people you can’t really relate to, you know?”
Sadie nodded.
“My family’s rich, I guess, or at least most people would think we are, but I’m not like these girls. I don’t go to the Hamptons every summer or get tickets to movie premieres or go to balls at the White House. It’s easy to get lost in all that.”
She looked up and met Sadie’s eyes. “But you’re different.” She smiled. “You’re more like me.”
Sadie threw her arms around Jessica in a big hug. “You’re practically the reason I decided to come here last spring.”
“Really?” Jessica wiped her nose with the back of one hand. “You didn’t think I was like, totally obnoxious, and that I talk too much and make too many awkward jokes?”
Sadie smacked her on the shoulder. “Please. I was just relieved you weren’t a rich robot who thought I didn’t deserve to be here.”
Jessica’s smile faded. “Well, you do.” Her eyes followed a group of three sophomores as they walked across the quad. The sunlight glinted off their pale blonde hair — all three the exact same shade — and their shadows stretched tall across the grass.
“It’s so strange when you start school here. You watch all of the girls walking around with their perfect designer outfits and haircuts, and they’re all beautiful and smart and well dressed and well-spoken. And then it’s parents’ week, and all the families show up, and they don’t even look real. All the dads wear expensive suits, and the moms are young and beautiful. It’s like you’re living in a movie, where everything is flawless and everyone wears tasteful pearls and it’s all just perfectly as it should be.”
She shook her head and laughed bitterly. “But then you start to see the cracks. You see the faces behind the facades, and they’re ugly and sad and empty. The dads all cheat or get caught banging prostitutes or divorce their kids’ stepmom for someone who just graduated from Yale, and the moms are all workaholics who take pills just to get through their eighteen-hour days, or they don’t work at all and they’re depressed or crazy or obsessed with their charity work because it makes them feel like they’re more than just some rich guy’s wife. You know Madison, my roommate? She pulls out her hair because she’s so stressed all the time. She has to wear extensions because she’s going bald, and her parents still give her shit if she doesn’t get straight As.”
She looked up at Sadie. “You’re smart and pretty and fucking great at lacrosse, and you earned every dollar of that scholarship. Trust me, the more you get to know these people, the more you realize they’re really not untouchable at all. They’re just as screwed up as the rest of us — they just have better costumes to wear.”
Chapter 10
It was almost 7:30 by the time Sadie forced herself out of bed. She had lain awake for over an hour already, her heart pounding and her stomach rolling with angry butterflies. It was Monday, the day of the test, and Sadie felt even less prepared than she had last week. Ever since Friday night, she had been waking up terrified in the middle of the night, sure there was someone in her room. Her dreams were stressful and restless, and every morning, the second before she opened her eyes, she saw a faceless blonde in a black hood.
She showered and dressed quickly, then flipped open her laptop to check her e-mail. The only message she had was from Thayer letting them know practice had been pushed back half an hour. She groaned in frustration. All that meant was an extra half hour of torture before she was put out of her misery.
She spent the
“Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here,” Sadie said softly.
Jessica sniffed. “You know, since I’m already crying I might as well say this.” She managed a weak laugh. “I’m really, really glad you’re here, Sadie. Seriously. I like the other girls, but it’s hard being around people you can’t really relate to, you know?”
Sadie nodded.
“My family’s rich, I guess, or at least most people would think we are, but I’m not like these girls. I don’t go to the Hamptons every summer or get tickets to movie premieres or go to balls at the White House. It’s easy to get lost in all that.”
She looked up and met Sadie’s eyes. “But you’re different.” She smiled. “You’re more like me.”
Sadie threw her arms around Jessica in a big hug. “You’re practically the reason I decided to come here last spring.”
“Really?” Jessica wiped her nose with the back of one hand. “You didn’t think I was like, totally obnoxious, and that I talk too much and make too many awkward jokes?”
Sadie smacked her on the shoulder. “Please. I was just relieved you weren’t a rich robot who thought I didn’t deserve to be here.”
Jessica’s smile faded. “Well, you do.” Her eyes followed a group of three sophomores as they walked across the quad. The sunlight glinted off their pale blonde hair — all three the exact same shade — and their shadows stretched tall across the grass.
“It’s so strange when you start school here. You watch all of the girls walking around with their perfect designer outfits and haircuts, and they’re all beautiful and smart and well dressed and well-spoken. And then it’s parents’ week, and all the families show up, and they don’t even look real. All the dads wear expensive suits, and the moms are young and beautiful. It’s like you’re living in a movie, where everything is flawless and everyone wears tasteful pearls and it’s all just perfectly as it should be.”
She shook her head and laughed bitterly. “But then you start to see the cracks. You see the faces behind the facades, and they’re ugly and sad and empty. The dads all cheat or get caught banging prostitutes or divorce their kids’ stepmom for someone who just graduated from Yale, and the moms are all workaholics who take pills just to get through their eighteen-hour days, or they don’t work at all and they’re depressed or crazy or obsessed with their charity work because it makes them feel like they’re more than just some rich guy’s wife. You know Madison, my roommate? She pulls out her hair because she’s so stressed all the time. She has to wear extensions because she’s going bald, and her parents still give her shit if she doesn’t get straight As.”
She looked up at Sadie. “You’re smart and pretty and fucking great at lacrosse, and you earned every dollar of that scholarship. Trust me, the more you get to know these people, the more you realize they’re really not untouchable at all. They’re just as screwed up as the rest of us — they just have better costumes to wear.”
Chapter 10
It was almost 7:30 by the time Sadie forced herself out of bed. She had lain awake for over an hour already, her heart pounding and her stomach rolling with angry butterflies. It was Monday, the day of the test, and Sadie felt even less prepared than she had last week. Ever since Friday night, she had been waking up terrified in the middle of the night, sure there was someone in her room. Her dreams were stressful and restless, and every morning, the second before she opened her eyes, she saw a faceless blonde in a black hood.
She showered and dressed quickly, then flipped open her laptop to check her e-mail. The only message she had was from Thayer letting them know practice had been pushed back half an hour. She groaned in frustration. All that meant was an extra half hour of torture before she was put out of her misery.
She spent the
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