Playschool by Colin Thompson Page A

chicken’s egg landed in his lap.
    A small china doll flew through the window into Orkward’s old room and landed on the bed.

    â€˜Beryl, is that, like, you?’ said The Mirror. ‘No,’ said the china doll. ‘She got broken years ago.’
    â€˜Oh,’ said The Mirror sadly.
    â€˜Just kidding,’ said Beryl, turning back into a seriously gorgeous girl.
    â€˜So why haven’t I changed back?’
    â€˜In a minute, in a minute,’ said Beryl, staring at her reflection. ‘I just need to fix my hair.’

    As daylight went and hid behind the mountains, Professor Throat stood in the centre of the field and brought sports day to a close.
    â€˜These have been the greatest games in Quicklime’s seven hundred and fifty glorious years,’ he said. ‘Not just because of the great explosion that showered everyone with gold and diamonds, but because of the great team spirit shown by everyone.’
    No one believed him. They all knew the best bit had been the treasure.
    â€˜Of course,’ the Professor concluded, ‘being the seven hundred and fifty- first year, a number of great significance in the world of magic, next year’s sports day will be even greater …’

    Charlie, no longer a toad, was reunited with his parents, who felt so proud of his bronze medal and so incredibly guilty at how badly they had treated him that they spoilt him rotten for the rest of his life. He had a different iPod and Playstation in every room of the house, fourteen stunning girlfriends, a massive plasma TV, his own go-kart racing track and a special secret place in the dark forest where he could visit the little handbags whenever he wanted to.

    So that Orkward Warlock wouldn’t go down in history as a total failure, a new combined high, low, far and wide jump event was created and Orkwardwas awarded a lifetime achievement gold medal as the person who had jumped the highest, the lowest and the furthest all at the same time. But even then, his parents still wouldn’t have anything to do with him. 38

    The Floods didn’t need a special happy ending, because their lives were just about perfect anyway. Their only worry was being totally unable to think of anything that could make their lives any better.
    Back home on the first evening of the school holidays, the whole family sat on the back verandah drinking warm blood slurpies as the ice-cold moonrose over the trees and sparkled on all the gold medals the children had won.
    â€˜I think,’ said Mordonna, ‘that was the best sports day ever.’
    â€˜Absolutely,’ everyone agreed. ‘At least until next year’s.’

‘I’m not going back to the retirement cave,’ said Alzhammer the dragon. ‘I mean, what’s the point? I’ll just get off to sleep again and it’ll be time to come here again for next year’s sports day.’
    â€˜But what about your passengers?’ someone asked.
    â€˜They’re as old as me,’ said Alzhammer. ‘We’ll all stay here.’
    Which was how Quicklime College became the first school in history to have classes on false teeth maintenance and how to crochet lumpy things.

 
    And so on for thirty-three more verses. *
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The Floods 3: Home & Away
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