took a step back, needing to put space between them, needing to think. But Beckett wasn’t of a mind to allow it. He took hold of her wrist and stayed her motion.
“Roxie, I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to pass judgment. I just want to know what happened to make you so damned scared to trust anyone.”
“Beckett…Cade, please. Let this go. If you care for me, then let it go. Let me go. There can’t be anything between us. Ever.”
“You want me.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I do.”
“Sexually.”
“Yes.”
“And that’s it?”
Roxie thought about looking him in the eyes and telling a lie, but something inside wouldn’t permit that. As much as she didn’t want to, she’d fallen in love with him and she couldn’t lie. She could walk away because she had to, but not until she’d told him the truth. She saw that now. Only how was she going to speak of something she’d kept buried for so long, something that had altered the course of her life?
“Roxie?”
She braved a look at him and tears welled in her eyes. Brushing them aside with one hand, she took a deep breath. Time to face the music.
“No, Cade. That’s not it. Not by a long shot.”
“Roxie.”
“No.” She pulled free as he squeezed her hand. “Don’t. Don’t say anything. Please. You wanted the truth and you deserve that.”
She paused. Wanting to speak the truth and doing it were as different as night and day. Once she spoke, she couldn’t take it back. If she said the first word, there would be so many more words to follow, so much explaining to do.
Could she trust him to understand? Fear that he would not had her mouth dry and her body tense. She could lose him in the next two seconds.
And you never had him anyway if he can’t accept and understand, a little voice spoke in her head. Damn that voice anyway. Why did it always have to be right?
“Roxie?”
She met his eyes and sucked in a breath. “I’m married.”
*****
Nellie Mae’s heart was beating triple time as she climbed the stairs. Twice she almost fell in her haste to get to her room and to the phone. She had to tell Netta.
She was wheezing and barely able to stand by the time she reached her room. She snatched a tissue from the carton on the night stand, she mopped at her face and then she plopped down on the bed.
It took several tissues to soak the perspiration from her skin. She took extra care with her hairline. She’d just had her hair done that day and didn’t want to ruin her do. It needed to last until at least Monday and it was only Saturday
When she had recovered her breath enough to speak, she picked up the phone from the night stand and dialed Netta’s number.
“Hello?” Netta answered on the second ring.
“Child, you are never going to believe what just happened.”
“Are you okay Nellie Mae? Good lord, it scared me to death when the phone rang. No one ever calls this time of night unless it’s bad news.”
“It’s not bad. Well, it’s bad but I’m fine.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“You know my new boarder? That gal from Vegas?”
“The busty blonde that works at the Blue Belle?”
“No the other one. The brunette.”
“Oh yes, yes, the one who works for the Sweet girls.”
“Yes. Well, let me tell you, she just showed up here crying like her dog had just been run over and Stella’s nephew, that Cade Beckett on her heels. He barged right into her room and they were going at it.”
“Oh, oh, I knew there was something going on there. Could you hear what they were saying?”
“Not much, just could tell they were arguing. I did manage to press my ear up against the door and hear this, though. Clear as day I heard her say, ‘I’m a murderer.’ Her very words, Netta.”
“Oh, my god. Nellie! A murderer! What are you going to do? Lock your door, honey. Call the police.”
“I can’t, Netta. I don’t have any proof. And that Cade Beckett is still in her room with her.”
“Can you sneak
“Roxie, I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to pass judgment. I just want to know what happened to make you so damned scared to trust anyone.”
“Beckett…Cade, please. Let this go. If you care for me, then let it go. Let me go. There can’t be anything between us. Ever.”
“You want me.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I do.”
“Sexually.”
“Yes.”
“And that’s it?”
Roxie thought about looking him in the eyes and telling a lie, but something inside wouldn’t permit that. As much as she didn’t want to, she’d fallen in love with him and she couldn’t lie. She could walk away because she had to, but not until she’d told him the truth. She saw that now. Only how was she going to speak of something she’d kept buried for so long, something that had altered the course of her life?
“Roxie?”
She braved a look at him and tears welled in her eyes. Brushing them aside with one hand, she took a deep breath. Time to face the music.
“No, Cade. That’s not it. Not by a long shot.”
“Roxie.”
“No.” She pulled free as he squeezed her hand. “Don’t. Don’t say anything. Please. You wanted the truth and you deserve that.”
She paused. Wanting to speak the truth and doing it were as different as night and day. Once she spoke, she couldn’t take it back. If she said the first word, there would be so many more words to follow, so much explaining to do.
Could she trust him to understand? Fear that he would not had her mouth dry and her body tense. She could lose him in the next two seconds.
And you never had him anyway if he can’t accept and understand, a little voice spoke in her head. Damn that voice anyway. Why did it always have to be right?
“Roxie?”
She met his eyes and sucked in a breath. “I’m married.”
*****
Nellie Mae’s heart was beating triple time as she climbed the stairs. Twice she almost fell in her haste to get to her room and to the phone. She had to tell Netta.
She was wheezing and barely able to stand by the time she reached her room. She snatched a tissue from the carton on the night stand, she mopped at her face and then she plopped down on the bed.
It took several tissues to soak the perspiration from her skin. She took extra care with her hairline. She’d just had her hair done that day and didn’t want to ruin her do. It needed to last until at least Monday and it was only Saturday
When she had recovered her breath enough to speak, she picked up the phone from the night stand and dialed Netta’s number.
“Hello?” Netta answered on the second ring.
“Child, you are never going to believe what just happened.”
“Are you okay Nellie Mae? Good lord, it scared me to death when the phone rang. No one ever calls this time of night unless it’s bad news.”
“It’s not bad. Well, it’s bad but I’m fine.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“You know my new boarder? That gal from Vegas?”
“The busty blonde that works at the Blue Belle?”
“No the other one. The brunette.”
“Oh yes, yes, the one who works for the Sweet girls.”
“Yes. Well, let me tell you, she just showed up here crying like her dog had just been run over and Stella’s nephew, that Cade Beckett on her heels. He barged right into her room and they were going at it.”
“Oh, oh, I knew there was something going on there. Could you hear what they were saying?”
“Not much, just could tell they were arguing. I did manage to press my ear up against the door and hear this, though. Clear as day I heard her say, ‘I’m a murderer.’ Her very words, Netta.”
“Oh, my god. Nellie! A murderer! What are you going to do? Lock your door, honey. Call the police.”
“I can’t, Netta. I don’t have any proof. And that Cade Beckett is still in her room with her.”
“Can you sneak
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