sun on her back and the warmth of her boss.
As she left the office to spend Friday night alone in her flat, she knew that soon she would be ready to find herself a social life – However, it would never be as important to her as her career.
***
Virginia was at work even earlier than normal. She was so excited about the prospects Helena had suggested might be there for her that she couldn’t sleep. She had spent most of the night daydreaming about getting interviews and being promoted. She wondered where she might work, and who with, and she pictured Isabelle’s face when she found out that her secretary was good enough to be a salesperson. She couldn’t wait to prove her wrong. It was time for Virginia to start taking control of her life, which she had never done before. From now on she would be a success, and would do it for herself. Because of her nervous excitement, she ensured that she stuck to her routine. The timing was off, but she still had her shower while the kettle boiled; she made tea as soon as she was out of the shower. She watched the breakfast news as she drank it. She got dressed. She left the house. She drove to work.
The only change in routine was that she bought a copy of the Financial Times on the way into the office and read it. Normally Virginia waited until mid-morning when free copies were given out. She wanted to make sure that she knew what was going on. She also checked out the markets, which she usually did but today she felt she had a real reason for doing so. She smiled as the office filled, and was rewarded with a couple of impersonal grins.
As the morning progressed, she grew more nervous. She knew that at any moment an e-mail might come through from Helena, but she didn ’t know when. She kept telling herself to be patient, Helena had said these things took time. Virginia had been waiting years; she felt that, with discipline, she could last a little longer. She had to slow her breathing consciously: she felt as if she might hyperventilate. She counted: one, two, three, four. By four she was calm. She hadn’t had these feelings for such a long time, value, opportunity, optimism. It had been such a long time since she’d faced anything like this: she had no controls in place to deal with it.
If she got an e-mail today and it contained good news, she hoped she could contain her excitement – she didn ’t want anyone else to know, especially the dreaded Isabelle. As the panic rose, she began to think of ways to avert it.
She caught up on all her work, the filing and outstanding expenses, but her ten-minute checks on her e-mail led to nothing. At lunch-time she went on her usual walk, to the usual sandwich shop and bought her usual sandwich. When she returned to her desk, her e-mail box was as it had been when she left.
As her work was largely done, she decided to e-mail her penfriend, Susie. She started typing, asking questions about how she was, how her job was going – her friend was a research assistant for a pharmaceutical company – and how her family were. She had been writing to Susie since she was thirteen. Her English teacher had introduced the idea and had allocated each child in the class an address in a different country. Virginia was offered Canada, and for a while she was disappointed as she had hoped for America, Africa or even Australia.
After a while, she and Susie knew so much about each other that Virginia counted her best friend. They were soul mates. They wrote to each other regularly, exchanging secrets, news, troubles, and hopes for the future. If Virginia were less neurotic she would have seen that Susie was like herself: she would have recognised that they shared many characteristics. She would have seen that there was a good reason why, at thirteen, she had been given Canada. She would know it was fate, but no one could have guessed that this linking would lead to a lifelong friendship. When they started working, they had swapped letters for
As she left the office to spend Friday night alone in her flat, she knew that soon she would be ready to find herself a social life – However, it would never be as important to her as her career.
***
Virginia was at work even earlier than normal. She was so excited about the prospects Helena had suggested might be there for her that she couldn’t sleep. She had spent most of the night daydreaming about getting interviews and being promoted. She wondered where she might work, and who with, and she pictured Isabelle’s face when she found out that her secretary was good enough to be a salesperson. She couldn’t wait to prove her wrong. It was time for Virginia to start taking control of her life, which she had never done before. From now on she would be a success, and would do it for herself. Because of her nervous excitement, she ensured that she stuck to her routine. The timing was off, but she still had her shower while the kettle boiled; she made tea as soon as she was out of the shower. She watched the breakfast news as she drank it. She got dressed. She left the house. She drove to work.
The only change in routine was that she bought a copy of the Financial Times on the way into the office and read it. Normally Virginia waited until mid-morning when free copies were given out. She wanted to make sure that she knew what was going on. She also checked out the markets, which she usually did but today she felt she had a real reason for doing so. She smiled as the office filled, and was rewarded with a couple of impersonal grins.
As the morning progressed, she grew more nervous. She knew that at any moment an e-mail might come through from Helena, but she didn ’t know when. She kept telling herself to be patient, Helena had said these things took time. Virginia had been waiting years; she felt that, with discipline, she could last a little longer. She had to slow her breathing consciously: she felt as if she might hyperventilate. She counted: one, two, three, four. By four she was calm. She hadn’t had these feelings for such a long time, value, opportunity, optimism. It had been such a long time since she’d faced anything like this: she had no controls in place to deal with it.
If she got an e-mail today and it contained good news, she hoped she could contain her excitement – she didn ’t want anyone else to know, especially the dreaded Isabelle. As the panic rose, she began to think of ways to avert it.
She caught up on all her work, the filing and outstanding expenses, but her ten-minute checks on her e-mail led to nothing. At lunch-time she went on her usual walk, to the usual sandwich shop and bought her usual sandwich. When she returned to her desk, her e-mail box was as it had been when she left.
As her work was largely done, she decided to e-mail her penfriend, Susie. She started typing, asking questions about how she was, how her job was going – her friend was a research assistant for a pharmaceutical company – and how her family were. She had been writing to Susie since she was thirteen. Her English teacher had introduced the idea and had allocated each child in the class an address in a different country. Virginia was offered Canada, and for a while she was disappointed as she had hoped for America, Africa or even Australia.
After a while, she and Susie knew so much about each other that Virginia counted her best friend. They were soul mates. They wrote to each other regularly, exchanging secrets, news, troubles, and hopes for the future. If Virginia were less neurotic she would have seen that Susie was like herself: she would have recognised that they shared many characteristics. She would have seen that there was a good reason why, at thirteen, she had been given Canada. She would know it was fate, but no one could have guessed that this linking would lead to a lifelong friendship. When they started working, they had swapped letters for
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