Pink Snowbunnies in Hell: A Flash Fiction Anthology by Debora Geary, Nichole Chase, Nathan Lowell, Barbra Annino, T. L. Haddix, Camille Laguire, Heather Marie Adkins, Julie Christensen, A. J. Braithwaite, Asher MacDonald Page B
Authors: Debora Geary, Nichole Chase, Nathan Lowell, Barbra Annino, T. L. Haddix, Camille Laguire, Heather Marie Adkins, Julie Christensen, A. J. Braithwaite, Asher MacDonald
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bunnies. Wills: Quay Inn. Hell.”
“That sounds like an interesting concept.”
I turn round to find a guy I’ve never seen before next to the reception desk. Nice eyes , I can’t help thinking, despite the growing panic caused by the closure of Gastros Catering. They’re the town’s top-end caterers and are supposed to be doing the food for the Sharpes’ wedding tomorrow. I try to focus my mind on what the new arrival just said, but can’t make any sense of it.
“Sorry, what?”
“The pink snowbunnies. Skiing in Hell?”
Now I really have no idea what he’s talking about. I glance at his left hand. Out of professional interest only, of course. No ring. Back to his face. His eyes are big and brown, with lashes so thick that I want to touch them.
I try to pull myself together. Even if he is talking nonsense, there’s no excuse for not being professional. I paste on the Wedding Heaven smile. “Can I help you?”
He hands me a business card. “My name’s Peter. I’ve just moved to town. I’m a caterer—been in business in Toronto for twenty years, but now I’m here, so I wanted to let you know that I’m available.”
My heart, which was already beating faster than usual (because of the stress of the Gastros issue, I tell myself), starts trying to shake itself out of my ribcage. I make a determined effort to keep my voice under control, but the words come out all breathy and far too fast.
“Peter, I’m Rachel. I’ve got a big problem with a catering job for tomorrow. The health inspectors have closed down one of your competitors. It’s a buffet for fifty people at four at the Country Club.” I look at him, trying to make my blue eyes as puppy-dog-like as his brown ones. “Can you help?”
A smile spreads across his face, creating cute crinkles around the corners of his eyes. “I wasn’t expecting to get work quite as quickly as that. But yes, I think I could do it, although I might need some help if they’ve got a particular menu in mind.”
Now I’m so relieved, I want to kiss him. But I’m all business. I retrieve the Gastros menu from the Sharpes’ file and we sit down to go through it.
“How are your cooking skills?” he asks. “This is all straightforward, but I’m going to need a sous-chef for the day.”
“I’m your woman,” I say.
I expect you’re wondering what our wedding was like. No peonies, no Rolls Royce. And definitely no snowbunnies. Just me, Peter, our closest friends and some truly fabulous food. In my professional judgment, this marriage is one that’s going to last and last.
A. J. Braithwaite is the author of The Roman and the Runaway, the first Hawley Lodge story. Find out more at www.hawleylodge.com .
When
By Robin Reed
When the Chicago Cubs win the pennant,
When Beetle Bailey makes lieutenant,
When the Energizer Bunny stops,
When Dunkin’ Donuts has no cops,
When solar panels are installed for all to see,
on the headquarters of Exxon, Mobil, and BP,
When every state takes down every tollbooth,
When an accused Congressman tells the truth,
When socks and sandals are never worn together,
When the weatherman accurately predicts the weather,
When reality TV producers display good taste,
and stop making fools of people to sell toothpaste,
When all war has truly ended,
When every lonely person is befriended,
When you can lose weight eating McDonald’s fries,
When hedge-fund managers can tell no lies,
When Disney makes a film that’s X-rated,
in which Donald Duck and Snow White go at it ‘til sated,
When all these impossible things happen and many more, as well,
Then pink snowbunnies will ski in hell!
Robin Reed has had science fiction, mystery, and horror stories published online and in print anthologies, using pen name Robin Morris for horror. See her Amazon author page at http://tinyurl.com/3ny9adz .
Where’s JoJo? A Bunny’s Guide
to Family Dysfunction.
By Julie Christensen
“Mommy, where’s JoJo?” My eyes
“That sounds like an interesting concept.”
I turn round to find a guy I’ve never seen before next to the reception desk. Nice eyes , I can’t help thinking, despite the growing panic caused by the closure of Gastros Catering. They’re the town’s top-end caterers and are supposed to be doing the food for the Sharpes’ wedding tomorrow. I try to focus my mind on what the new arrival just said, but can’t make any sense of it.
“Sorry, what?”
“The pink snowbunnies. Skiing in Hell?”
Now I really have no idea what he’s talking about. I glance at his left hand. Out of professional interest only, of course. No ring. Back to his face. His eyes are big and brown, with lashes so thick that I want to touch them.
I try to pull myself together. Even if he is talking nonsense, there’s no excuse for not being professional. I paste on the Wedding Heaven smile. “Can I help you?”
He hands me a business card. “My name’s Peter. I’ve just moved to town. I’m a caterer—been in business in Toronto for twenty years, but now I’m here, so I wanted to let you know that I’m available.”
My heart, which was already beating faster than usual (because of the stress of the Gastros issue, I tell myself), starts trying to shake itself out of my ribcage. I make a determined effort to keep my voice under control, but the words come out all breathy and far too fast.
“Peter, I’m Rachel. I’ve got a big problem with a catering job for tomorrow. The health inspectors have closed down one of your competitors. It’s a buffet for fifty people at four at the Country Club.” I look at him, trying to make my blue eyes as puppy-dog-like as his brown ones. “Can you help?”
A smile spreads across his face, creating cute crinkles around the corners of his eyes. “I wasn’t expecting to get work quite as quickly as that. But yes, I think I could do it, although I might need some help if they’ve got a particular menu in mind.”
Now I’m so relieved, I want to kiss him. But I’m all business. I retrieve the Gastros menu from the Sharpes’ file and we sit down to go through it.
“How are your cooking skills?” he asks. “This is all straightforward, but I’m going to need a sous-chef for the day.”
“I’m your woman,” I say.
I expect you’re wondering what our wedding was like. No peonies, no Rolls Royce. And definitely no snowbunnies. Just me, Peter, our closest friends and some truly fabulous food. In my professional judgment, this marriage is one that’s going to last and last.
A. J. Braithwaite is the author of The Roman and the Runaway, the first Hawley Lodge story. Find out more at www.hawleylodge.com .
When
By Robin Reed
When the Chicago Cubs win the pennant,
When Beetle Bailey makes lieutenant,
When the Energizer Bunny stops,
When Dunkin’ Donuts has no cops,
When solar panels are installed for all to see,
on the headquarters of Exxon, Mobil, and BP,
When every state takes down every tollbooth,
When an accused Congressman tells the truth,
When socks and sandals are never worn together,
When the weatherman accurately predicts the weather,
When reality TV producers display good taste,
and stop making fools of people to sell toothpaste,
When all war has truly ended,
When every lonely person is befriended,
When you can lose weight eating McDonald’s fries,
When hedge-fund managers can tell no lies,
When Disney makes a film that’s X-rated,
in which Donald Duck and Snow White go at it ‘til sated,
When all these impossible things happen and many more, as well,
Then pink snowbunnies will ski in hell!
Robin Reed has had science fiction, mystery, and horror stories published online and in print anthologies, using pen name Robin Morris for horror. See her Amazon author page at http://tinyurl.com/3ny9adz .
Where’s JoJo? A Bunny’s Guide
to Family Dysfunction.
By Julie Christensen
“Mommy, where’s JoJo?” My eyes
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