Pieces of Us by Margie Gelbwasser Page A

do, your mouth covering the little pink ring left by her lips, she asks if she can have another few puffs. You let her, and there’s something about the way her mouth covers that same spot yours was on that makes you feel light.
    This feeling is familiar. It’s the Sarah feeling. It scares you, but when Julie says she wants to stay out here a little longer and look at the cars with you, you say okay. And when she moves closer to you, her bare arm touching yours, the part of you screaming to get away is silent.

Katie
     
    S he likes him,” I tell Sasha at Wild West City as we watch Kostya and Yulya from the hood of his car.
    “No offense to your sister, but it’s pretty obvious.” He takes a drag of his cigarette and blows the smoke away from me. I don’t like when he smokes in front of me, but at least he doesn’t blow it in my face like Trina said her ex did.
    “So Kyle knows?”
    “My brother is socially retarded. I had to tell him.” He flicks the ashes into an empty soda can.
    “Interesting,” I say, walking my fingers up Sasha’s arm to his collarbone. “Does he like her back?”
    Sasha laughs. “You girls are funny. You could’ve just started the conversation that way—I would have told you.” He takes another drag. “I think he’ll give the idea a chance.”
    The relief I feel when he says this surprises me. But it shouldn’t. “Good. He has to. I kind of owe her.”
    “You, a cradle robber? Steal your baby sister’s boyfriend or something?” He laughs like this would never happen.
    “Sort of. He was in my grade, and he tutored her. They hooked up and then suddenly broke up. He told me it was her idea. She didn’t want to see him anymore … ” I don’t know why I’m telling him this. Maybe I think he’ll tell me I did nothing wrong. He looks at me—at Katya—like she can do no wrong.
    “So there you go,” Sasha says, clearly bored. “Whatever happened wasn’t your fault. What’s with girls and drama?” He takes a long drag and then throws the butt on the ground.
    It’s so simple, the way he says it. But it’s hard to know what’s my fault anymore; what I wanted, what I didn’t.
    My fault: Ignoring the way Derek looked at me. There was a want in his eyes.
    My fault: Believing I could be silly and flirty Katie again, like she wasn’t gone.
    My fault/not my fault?: Derek asking me to meet him after school. Saying he wanted to talk about Julie. I thought he wanted love advice or something. I should have known. He said they were over; he wanted me. He leaned in so close. I froze. He pushed his lips on mine and I didn’t fight back. Again. He finally pulled away. Asked what the hell was wrong with me. What was with the frigid act? He’d heard different, he said.
    I stared at him, afraid to ask if he really had or if he was just talking trash. I didn’t even walk away. Just stood there like a mannequin. It was he who finally left, after calling me a tease. I don’t know how much longer I stood there before I remembered I could move. I almost told Julie, but what would I say? Her first kiss wanted me ? I wonder if she could see it in my face, though, when my mask fell off. I wonder if that’s why she just turned cold.
    “There’s a girl code,” I say now, focusing on the more clear-cut situation (more clear-cut to him, anyway). “We only kissed once, and then I told him it was wrong.” In my head. That’s what I tell him each time I replay the scene. I move. I push him away. “He was Yulya’s—”
    “He wasn’t anybody’s.” Sasha pops a piece of gum in his mouth.
    He can’t understand this.
    “It should have never happened, so now I just hope she and Kostya work out.”
    “You think too much,” Sasha says, moving his hand to my cheek. “Don’t worry about them. I’ll help make it work, okay?” He gently lifts my chin, moves it close to his mouth. It smells of minty gum. I like that gum. It leaves that sharp, cool taste in his mouth, taking away almost all