How easy it was to spit out opinions and advice like a ticket dispenser.
Finn kept kicking at the rocks. “I know, I know. She was so happy when I moved here. She misses me, but she loves that I’m following in her footsteps. I’m her only child, and Dad left her so long ago. I’m all she has to put her hopes on.”
“Then don’t disappoint her in something far bigger than what school you’re going to. There are other universities. Harvard isn’t everything.”
She couldn’t believe she had just said that, because it had been everything to her not so long ago. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
“I know.”
Leaning forward, Naomi tried to look into Finn’s face. The moon was bright. She could see the rigid set of his jaw and the frown on his lips.
“Finn, I understand the pressure thing. My mom went to Harvard too. She’s a lawyer. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? How much I know that no matter what I do, I will never measure up to her? Coming here has been the closest I can get.”
His silence was thick, but she knew he was processing what she had said. “That’s some heavy pressure, yeah,” he said. “At least you’re doing something about it. I’ve been avoiding so much crap lately. I was thinking about moving home and telling my mom the truth, but then you started coming into Java and we got to be friends, and then we went out that one night, and then I was made assistant manager, and I’ve kept putting it off. Now I see you all the time and I don’t want to leave. I want to try to apply again. I want to make my mom proud and be as strong as I always try to believe I am.”
“Crap, Finn, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was a part of your decision to stay here.”
“No, it’s a good thing. I told you—now I want to try harder. I’ll apply again and see what I can get, even if I’m put on a wait list.”
“Good, because you’re smart and you shouldn’t be wasting your time working in a café when you could be working in a café and working toward designing buildings.” She nudged his shoulder. “Right?”
“Yeah.”
“Jesse is an architect,” she said, surprised it came out so quickly. “He graduated high school early and got his degree in college by the time he was twenty.”
Finn let out a puff of air. “Damn.”
“Yeah, I know. But he screwed up in other parts of his life, and sometimes I wonder if it’s because he was trying too hard to get ahead and impress his dad, who wanted him to teach English instead. I’m saying it’s okay to take things slower. Figure out what you want.”
He turned to her, his attention finally on her. She chewed on her bottom lip as the desire to kiss him again swept through her. No. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Only friends. She wanted Jesse. It was always Jesse ... or was it? The more she looked at Finn, the more she questioned her decision. In the dark, everything felt off-kilter and blurry. Finn was so immediate. She wondered what it said about her that she wanted him all of a sudden. She leaned closer, wanting another kiss.
“Is this what you want?” he asked, backing away. “Harvard? Film? Everything you’re going after? Even Jesse?”
“I-I think so,” she stuttered a little too quickly, trying to recover from the obvious rejection. “I mean, I’m in so deep now, with everything. How could I possible change it?”
He looked at her with longing in his eyes. “It’s never too late to go back. Is it?”
“Go back where?”
“I don’t know. Never mind.”
“No, Finn, what did you mean by that?”
“Nothing.” He stood and offered her his hand. “It’s late and you said you have homework to finish.”
She took his hand, wondering if he meant to ask if she thought it was too late to go back to him. It was tempting. “Yeah.”
The ride home was quiet. Finn parked in the driveway and stared at her front porch. “So, are we still on for tomorrow?”
“Sure. Bring the ingredients I texted you about
Finn kept kicking at the rocks. “I know, I know. She was so happy when I moved here. She misses me, but she loves that I’m following in her footsteps. I’m her only child, and Dad left her so long ago. I’m all she has to put her hopes on.”
“Then don’t disappoint her in something far bigger than what school you’re going to. There are other universities. Harvard isn’t everything.”
She couldn’t believe she had just said that, because it had been everything to her not so long ago. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
“I know.”
Leaning forward, Naomi tried to look into Finn’s face. The moon was bright. She could see the rigid set of his jaw and the frown on his lips.
“Finn, I understand the pressure thing. My mom went to Harvard too. She’s a lawyer. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? How much I know that no matter what I do, I will never measure up to her? Coming here has been the closest I can get.”
His silence was thick, but she knew he was processing what she had said. “That’s some heavy pressure, yeah,” he said. “At least you’re doing something about it. I’ve been avoiding so much crap lately. I was thinking about moving home and telling my mom the truth, but then you started coming into Java and we got to be friends, and then we went out that one night, and then I was made assistant manager, and I’ve kept putting it off. Now I see you all the time and I don’t want to leave. I want to try to apply again. I want to make my mom proud and be as strong as I always try to believe I am.”
“Crap, Finn, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was a part of your decision to stay here.”
“No, it’s a good thing. I told you—now I want to try harder. I’ll apply again and see what I can get, even if I’m put on a wait list.”
“Good, because you’re smart and you shouldn’t be wasting your time working in a café when you could be working in a café and working toward designing buildings.” She nudged his shoulder. “Right?”
“Yeah.”
“Jesse is an architect,” she said, surprised it came out so quickly. “He graduated high school early and got his degree in college by the time he was twenty.”
Finn let out a puff of air. “Damn.”
“Yeah, I know. But he screwed up in other parts of his life, and sometimes I wonder if it’s because he was trying too hard to get ahead and impress his dad, who wanted him to teach English instead. I’m saying it’s okay to take things slower. Figure out what you want.”
He turned to her, his attention finally on her. She chewed on her bottom lip as the desire to kiss him again swept through her. No. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Only friends. She wanted Jesse. It was always Jesse ... or was it? The more she looked at Finn, the more she questioned her decision. In the dark, everything felt off-kilter and blurry. Finn was so immediate. She wondered what it said about her that she wanted him all of a sudden. She leaned closer, wanting another kiss.
“Is this what you want?” he asked, backing away. “Harvard? Film? Everything you’re going after? Even Jesse?”
“I-I think so,” she stuttered a little too quickly, trying to recover from the obvious rejection. “I mean, I’m in so deep now, with everything. How could I possible change it?”
He looked at her with longing in his eyes. “It’s never too late to go back. Is it?”
“Go back where?”
“I don’t know. Never mind.”
“No, Finn, what did you mean by that?”
“Nothing.” He stood and offered her his hand. “It’s late and you said you have homework to finish.”
She took his hand, wondering if he meant to ask if she thought it was too late to go back to him. It was tempting. “Yeah.”
The ride home was quiet. Finn parked in the driveway and stared at her front porch. “So, are we still on for tomorrow?”
“Sure. Bring the ingredients I texted you about
Similar Books
