Phoenix Rockstar (Book One in the Erotic Rockstar Series) by Bec Botefuhr Page A

here….
     
    ~*~*~*~*
     
    “He was so mad at me Momma.” I sigh, sitting on the kitchen table and staring at my mother baking cookies.
    “Trav has always been a little crazy when it comes to you honey; he was just jealous.”
    “I hesitated, and I don’t know why. I should have told Dan to screw off, but I sent Trav away and listened to him.”
    “Look, you and Dan were together a while, and he broke your heart. It’s not un natural to have some softness towards him.”
    “I suppose.”
    “You two will be fine; you just need to be honest with him.”
    “He asked about Lil the other day.” I whisper.
    She stops and stares at me. “What did you say?”
    “I said she died.”
    “You didn’t tell him why?”
    “No, I couldn’t. If he hated me, I couldn’t bear it.”
    “Oh honey, Trav would never hate you. He loves you.”
    “Do you think I should tell him?”
    “I think honesty is a must, I think you should tell him everything because only then will you know if what you have is real.”
    I nod, swallowing and knowing she is right. I have to tell him; I have no choice. To gain trust and friendship alone, we have to be honest…the love part will take so much more. I open my phone and glance down at the text message he sent me yesterday after I left.
    Mischief, I am sorry. I keep doing this to you, and I know it’s not helping. I can’t imagine my world without you in it right now, you have attached yourself to my very core, and I need you.
    I reply.
    Trav, can we meet? We have to talk.
    Name the time and place.
    The cafe next to your house, now?
    I will be there.
    I say goodbye to mom, then make my way to the cafe. Travis is already waiting for me, looking gorgeous in his grey shirt and blue jeans. He stands when I reach him and reaches out for my hand.
    “Hey beautiful.”
    “Trav, I have something’s I need to say before we go any further.”
    He nods and sits down. I swallow and then begin speaking.
    “I haven’t given enough to you, and it’s likely my fault. I have lived a long time being this person; I have forgotten who I was. I have to be honest with you Trav, you scare me, but I want this as much as I want you. To get past it, I have to tell you something’s about my life in the past four years as you know, so you can make the choice…”
    “It won’t change the fact that I want you.”
    “Just let me tell you, and then you can decide that. You remember how close Lillian and I were? Well we remained that way until three years ago. One day, we were out swimming at a lake, and there were storms around, but it didn’t stop us. Lillian was hesitant; the storm was closing in, and she was hesitant. I teased her, saying what a sook she was and how she didn’t live…She was hurt, and she dived into the water, to prove me wrong. The lightening hit, I didn’t see it coming…I didn’t even realize she was hurt until…until…”
    “Hey, shhh.”
    “I saw her head resurface, and it wasn’t attached to her body. It cut her head clean off because it was the only part of her body out of the water. They told me it is because the lightening sends a current along the water top; that cuts like a knife. It was my fault; I picked on her, teased her when she was unsure, and she got in and died because of me.”
    I am sobbing now, and Travis has moved around the table to hold me in his arms.
    “It wasn’t your fault.”
    “It was my fault Trav, and I have learnt to live with that. I became secluded, scared of everything. I stopped living; every time I had fun all I could think about was how I taunted her for not living and having fun, so I stopped doing it myself. Like a punishment, or so my shrink said. Anyway, after the accident her brother grew a hate against me. He blamed me, told me it was my fault for changing her and trying to make her rebel against the world like I did. He went a bit crazy; Jeremy was her twin brother and they were close.”
    “What happened with him?”
    “Well, I saw