trusted.
Next day they walked the rest of the way to Castle Roogna. As they approached its moat, three nine-year-old girls appeared, wearing little golden crowns.
“Hello, Goblin,” the first said. “I'm Princess Melody.” She had greenish hair and blue eyes.
“Hello, Barbarian,” the second said. “I'm Princess Harmony.” She had brown hair and eyes.
“Hi, Parody,” the third said. “I'm Princess Rhythm.” She had red hair and green eyes.
“What a cluster of creeps!”
The three laughed. “What are you doing here, Peeve?” Melody asked.
“You're supposed to be with the Good Magician,” Harmony added.
“Driving his household to 'straction,” Rhythm concluded.
“I'm Goody Goblin. It's my job to find a good home for the parody. I don't suppose any of you would be interested?”
“We'd love to have the peeve,” Melody said.
“It would really make things interesting,” Harmony agreed.
“But Mother wouldn't allow it,” Rhythm concluded.
“And I'm Hannah Barbarian,” Hannah said. “So maybe you will direct us to Princess Ida?”
“Sure,” Melody said.
“She's expecting you,” Harmony agreed.
“Just follow the linear,” Rhythm concluded.
“Ha ha ha,” the parody laughed.
Goody was about to ask what a linear was, but then he saw it: a line of ears, leading across the moat and into the castle. Nine-year-old humor. “Thank you.”
They followed the line. The ears faded out as they were passed. As Hannah and Goody walked on the drawbridge, a huge green head rose from the water.
“It's okay, Sesame,” Melody called.
“They've been cleared,” Harmony added.
“Sesame's our moat monster,” Rhythm explained. “She alternates with her boyfriend.”
“Moat monsters have boyfriends?” Goody asked, bemused.
“Oh, sure,” Hannah said. “They're people too.”
The ears led down a long hall and to a stairway, where they became a line of eyes looking up from the steps. “A stare way,” Hannah said, disgusted. “I'm not walking up that in my skirt.”
“Ho ho ho!”
“The princesses are mischievous,” Goody said, appreciating her problem. Sneak peeks at panties were supposed to be prevented at all times, by order of the Adult Conspiracy, lest panties lose their effect and be useless. Sometimes that rule was violated, but that did not mean that violation was to be encouraged. “Do you have any way to nullify them?”
A bulb flashed over her head. “I do, now that you thought of it.” She drew her sword.
“I don't think this the place for mayhem,” Goody said, alarmed.
“Watch.” She angled the sword. It flashed. She tilted it so that the flash reflected down onto the stairs. The eyes blinked and teared, blinded. Then, keeping the glare a few steps ahead of her, she walked up the stairs.
“That's impressive.”
“I'm barbarian. That means ignorant, not stupid.”
“You're just lucky it wasn't a come-hither stair,” the parody said nastily. “That would have lured you up before you could get your sword out. Your panties would have panted.”
“You can't distract me, buzzard brain,” Hannah said, not relinquishing her focus. That of course had been the bird's intention: spoiling her concentration, so the reflection wavered, stranding her as the eyes recovered beneath her.
At the next floor the eyes gave way to mouths. Three princesses, three types of line. They were not threatening, merely painted red lips that kissed the feet that touched them. They led to a room whose door-plate said PRINCESS IDA.
Goody lifted his knuckle to knock.
“Open up, you misbegotten broad!”
Oops! Goody cast about for some fast way to explain and apologize.
The door opened. A woman Hannah's age stood there in her gown and crown. A small ball orbited her head. “You have the pet peeve!” she exclaimed.
She knew! “Yes. I'm supposed to find a good home for it. I'm Goody Goblin, and this is Hannah Barbarian. We need to visit Robot World.”
“Of course. Come
Next day they walked the rest of the way to Castle Roogna. As they approached its moat, three nine-year-old girls appeared, wearing little golden crowns.
“Hello, Goblin,” the first said. “I'm Princess Melody.” She had greenish hair and blue eyes.
“Hello, Barbarian,” the second said. “I'm Princess Harmony.” She had brown hair and eyes.
“Hi, Parody,” the third said. “I'm Princess Rhythm.” She had red hair and green eyes.
“What a cluster of creeps!”
The three laughed. “What are you doing here, Peeve?” Melody asked.
“You're supposed to be with the Good Magician,” Harmony added.
“Driving his household to 'straction,” Rhythm concluded.
“I'm Goody Goblin. It's my job to find a good home for the parody. I don't suppose any of you would be interested?”
“We'd love to have the peeve,” Melody said.
“It would really make things interesting,” Harmony agreed.
“But Mother wouldn't allow it,” Rhythm concluded.
“And I'm Hannah Barbarian,” Hannah said. “So maybe you will direct us to Princess Ida?”
“Sure,” Melody said.
“She's expecting you,” Harmony agreed.
“Just follow the linear,” Rhythm concluded.
“Ha ha ha,” the parody laughed.
Goody was about to ask what a linear was, but then he saw it: a line of ears, leading across the moat and into the castle. Nine-year-old humor. “Thank you.”
They followed the line. The ears faded out as they were passed. As Hannah and Goody walked on the drawbridge, a huge green head rose from the water.
“It's okay, Sesame,” Melody called.
“They've been cleared,” Harmony added.
“Sesame's our moat monster,” Rhythm explained. “She alternates with her boyfriend.”
“Moat monsters have boyfriends?” Goody asked, bemused.
“Oh, sure,” Hannah said. “They're people too.”
The ears led down a long hall and to a stairway, where they became a line of eyes looking up from the steps. “A stare way,” Hannah said, disgusted. “I'm not walking up that in my skirt.”
“Ho ho ho!”
“The princesses are mischievous,” Goody said, appreciating her problem. Sneak peeks at panties were supposed to be prevented at all times, by order of the Adult Conspiracy, lest panties lose their effect and be useless. Sometimes that rule was violated, but that did not mean that violation was to be encouraged. “Do you have any way to nullify them?”
A bulb flashed over her head. “I do, now that you thought of it.” She drew her sword.
“I don't think this the place for mayhem,” Goody said, alarmed.
“Watch.” She angled the sword. It flashed. She tilted it so that the flash reflected down onto the stairs. The eyes blinked and teared, blinded. Then, keeping the glare a few steps ahead of her, she walked up the stairs.
“That's impressive.”
“I'm barbarian. That means ignorant, not stupid.”
“You're just lucky it wasn't a come-hither stair,” the parody said nastily. “That would have lured you up before you could get your sword out. Your panties would have panted.”
“You can't distract me, buzzard brain,” Hannah said, not relinquishing her focus. That of course had been the bird's intention: spoiling her concentration, so the reflection wavered, stranding her as the eyes recovered beneath her.
At the next floor the eyes gave way to mouths. Three princesses, three types of line. They were not threatening, merely painted red lips that kissed the feet that touched them. They led to a room whose door-plate said PRINCESS IDA.
Goody lifted his knuckle to knock.
“Open up, you misbegotten broad!”
Oops! Goody cast about for some fast way to explain and apologize.
The door opened. A woman Hannah's age stood there in her gown and crown. A small ball orbited her head. “You have the pet peeve!” she exclaimed.
She knew! “Yes. I'm supposed to find a good home for it. I'm Goody Goblin, and this is Hannah Barbarian. We need to visit Robot World.”
“Of course. Come
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