to try to dissuade
you. I’d love it if you moved here,” I said.
I felt at this point I could be honest with him
about this. Clearly, he was feeling a lot of the same things I felt.
“What would you say to me moving in here?”
“My apartment?”
“Yes. I’d pay rent of course. I’d pay all your rent,
actually. Maybe we could look at a bigger place further down the line if it
gets, you know, more serious between us.”
“You think it’s going to get serious?”
“I could see it happening. I mean, I’d like it to.”
“I’d like that, too,” I said.
I left it at that, abandoning words for the intimacy
of touch. I brought his face towards mind, and gently kissed him, ending it with
a lingering bite of his lower lip. I snuggled into him, feeling content, happy.
Life was good right now, things were falling into place better than I’d ever
imagined. Sure, we were moving fast, but if I liked what we were headed
towards, why not move fast?
Would it always be this easy, this carefree? There
was no way I could possibly know right now. But I made up my mind at that
moment not to question the good things that were happening to me. I resolved to
take chances, big risks for what I wanted. I had taken a risk the first night I
met Colt, and I was taking one right now. But in his big arms I felt safe,
beyond the reach of adverse consequences.
Colt pressed his body into me and I closed my eyes
tight, emitting a contented sigh. I hoped life would always stay this perfect.
Part
Three: Long Goodbye
Chapter
One
Catherine
The week after his trip to Las Vegas, Colt moved
into my apartment. It was soon, yes, I fully admit it. But when something feels
this right, what’s the point of waiting? I guess you could say we didn’t really
know each other yet, that maybe there was something about Colt that should make
me think twice. But that thought didn’t cross my mind, at least not initially.
I was so swept off my feet, everything was moving so fast – I just decided to
go with the flow and see what came of it.
Those first few weeks were absolute perfection. They
had their own pace, a sexual intensity borne out of our new familiarity with
each other, the special closeness of sharing a place together. But it wasn’t
just the sex, there was a certain emotional intimacy beginning to build. Having
Colt there to talk to, to make plans with, even just to vent to sometimes, made
me realize just how lonely I had been before I’d met him.
Of course, I didn’t openly admit this, not wanting to
sound too needy. Even though it was Colt who’d suggested we get a place
together, I was still a bit nervous about where things stood. I felt as if one
misstep would scare him off, make him rethink this new relationship. When I
thought about it, I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about, that he was
just as into it as I was. But I’d grown sort of dependent on having him around,
so the prospect of him leaving was simply too much to think about.
That didn’t mean we never spent any time apart. Colt
went down to Texas to see his sister for Christmas, and I drove to my parent’s
place outside Oklahoma City. It was only a few days without seeing each other,
but it’s no stretch to say I missed him desperately during that time. I could
tell he felt the same by the way he made love when we were back together again
– it was rawer and more passionate, expressing a deep, unspoken desire.
Having a man around the apartment was a nice change
for me. I liked having someone to cook for, even if dinner was a relatively
rare occasion with my night time work schedule. Yes, I’d taken some time off
for Christmas, but once that was over I was still working five to six nights
each week at the bar. I needed money for next semester’s tuition, after all.
Colt was covering rent, and that certainly helped, but to wasn’t enough to
justify giving up shifts at the bar. As it was, I would barely scrape together
the enough money
you. I’d love it if you moved here,” I said.
I felt at this point I could be honest with him
about this. Clearly, he was feeling a lot of the same things I felt.
“What would you say to me moving in here?”
“My apartment?”
“Yes. I’d pay rent of course. I’d pay all your rent,
actually. Maybe we could look at a bigger place further down the line if it
gets, you know, more serious between us.”
“You think it’s going to get serious?”
“I could see it happening. I mean, I’d like it to.”
“I’d like that, too,” I said.
I left it at that, abandoning words for the intimacy
of touch. I brought his face towards mind, and gently kissed him, ending it with
a lingering bite of his lower lip. I snuggled into him, feeling content, happy.
Life was good right now, things were falling into place better than I’d ever
imagined. Sure, we were moving fast, but if I liked what we were headed
towards, why not move fast?
Would it always be this easy, this carefree? There
was no way I could possibly know right now. But I made up my mind at that
moment not to question the good things that were happening to me. I resolved to
take chances, big risks for what I wanted. I had taken a risk the first night I
met Colt, and I was taking one right now. But in his big arms I felt safe,
beyond the reach of adverse consequences.
Colt pressed his body into me and I closed my eyes
tight, emitting a contented sigh. I hoped life would always stay this perfect.
Part
Three: Long Goodbye
Chapter
One
Catherine
The week after his trip to Las Vegas, Colt moved
into my apartment. It was soon, yes, I fully admit it. But when something feels
this right, what’s the point of waiting? I guess you could say we didn’t really
know each other yet, that maybe there was something about Colt that should make
me think twice. But that thought didn’t cross my mind, at least not initially.
I was so swept off my feet, everything was moving so fast – I just decided to
go with the flow and see what came of it.
Those first few weeks were absolute perfection. They
had their own pace, a sexual intensity borne out of our new familiarity with
each other, the special closeness of sharing a place together. But it wasn’t
just the sex, there was a certain emotional intimacy beginning to build. Having
Colt there to talk to, to make plans with, even just to vent to sometimes, made
me realize just how lonely I had been before I’d met him.
Of course, I didn’t openly admit this, not wanting to
sound too needy. Even though it was Colt who’d suggested we get a place
together, I was still a bit nervous about where things stood. I felt as if one
misstep would scare him off, make him rethink this new relationship. When I
thought about it, I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about, that he was
just as into it as I was. But I’d grown sort of dependent on having him around,
so the prospect of him leaving was simply too much to think about.
That didn’t mean we never spent any time apart. Colt
went down to Texas to see his sister for Christmas, and I drove to my parent’s
place outside Oklahoma City. It was only a few days without seeing each other,
but it’s no stretch to say I missed him desperately during that time. I could
tell he felt the same by the way he made love when we were back together again
– it was rawer and more passionate, expressing a deep, unspoken desire.
Having a man around the apartment was a nice change
for me. I liked having someone to cook for, even if dinner was a relatively
rare occasion with my night time work schedule. Yes, I’d taken some time off
for Christmas, but once that was over I was still working five to six nights
each week at the bar. I needed money for next semester’s tuition, after all.
Colt was covering rent, and that certainly helped, but to wasn’t enough to
justify giving up shifts at the bar. As it was, I would barely scrape together
the enough money
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