Pay It Forward
heard. So, what’s the problem?”
    “Well. I been out with this guy four times. He hasn’t even tried to touch me. He’s just, like…a complete…gentleman.”
    “You poor girl. Men are such beasts.”
    “Four times, though, Bonnie. Doesn’t it seem off to you?”
    “You never got to know a guy before you jumped in the sack?”
    Actually, Arlene thought, no, but she didn’t care to say that. “He hasn’t so much as tried to hold my hand. What’s that sound like to you?”
    “Sounds like the guy’s got more sense than you do, not like that’s the hardest contest in the world to win. No offense. Look. You ain’t got but sixty days sober. No time to be adding sex tomore immediate problems, but if you’re gonna do it anyway, and I know you are, for God’s sake take it slow.”
    “I guess.”
    “Girl, you hear one word I say to you?”
    “I’m just so damn sick and tired of sleeping alone, Bonnie. Damn tired of it. And I know he is, too. So, what’s so terrible? I mean, what’s his problem?”
    “You’re asking me?”
    “Yeah. That’s why I come all the way over here. I’m asking you.”
    “Doesn’t that strike you a little odd? To be asking me?”
    “You’re my sponsor.”
    “So I’m supposed to know what this guy’s thinking that I never even met.”
    “You mean, ask him ?”
    Bonnie let out a big, indefinable noise and threw her hands up in a gesture of defeat. “And she thinks she’s ready to have a relationship. Lord help us all.” Then she walked Arlene to the door, since Arlene was going that way anyway, with or without help. “Hey. This the guy you told me about with the scars?”
    “Yeah.”
    “You sure he knows you want him to?”
    “Well, sure he knows. I mean, he must. What would I be going out with him for if I didn’t want him to?”
    “You better make sure he knows. Don’t tell nobody I said that. You’re supposed to get a year sober first.”
    “Yeah, but you knew I wouldn’t.”
    Bonnie rolled her eyes and slammed the door shut.
     
    I T MADE HER FEEL LIKE A KID, the way she had to corner him at her own front door, as if her parents were waiting up inside.
    Problem was, Reuben always paid for a baby-sitter. Well, it wasn’t a problem, it was real nice, but it was part of the problem, because if she invited him in, well, there the girl would be, and she didn’t have a car, so Reuben had to drop her home.
    Arlene hadn’t quite figured a way around that. So when he walked her to her door, which he always did, being a gentleman, she slid up to him and put her arms around his neck.
    “I had a real nice time tonight,” she said quietly into his right ear. The muscles in his neck and shoulders felt tight. She waited for him to say the same. Or to say anything, or to relax, or put his hands on her back, but there they hung at his sides while he said nothing at all. “How come you’re so tense?”
    “Do I seem tense?”
    “Am I making you nervous? You want me to stop?”
    “I guess I have mixed feelings about it.”
    Discouraged as she’d been, that seemed like a good jumping-off place to Arlene, who figured mixed feelings to be better than no feelings at all. She took two steps to push up a little closer, but he yielded and ended up with his back against the door. Since he couldn’t go anywhere from there, she kissed him. It didn’t feel different from kissing anybody else.
    It was a soft kiss. She didn’t know why, since she seemed to be leading, and had never felt a soft kiss before. And it brought up all these soft feelings in her stomach, like little breaths trying to get out, only more fluttery.
    She really hadn’t expected to like it nearly that much.
    She drew back to look at him, figuring this was the moment to find out one way or another if it bothered her. But he turned his head a little and she found herself looking mostly at the right side of his face, which was handsome and pleasant anyway—she’d always thought so.
    “You finally coming in

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