stepped back. “I’ll be right in for lunch. And Daniel should be there directly.”
He went into the dawdi-haus, and she heard him whistle as he shut the door behind him.
Becky stood there a moment, staring at the closed door. Her life seemed like a spiral of dirty water going down the drain. A deep whirlpool, going faster and faster, out of control. If only Jacob had been reaching out for her. To rescue her, maybe. If only she could cling to Jacob to save her from the madness of being courted by Amos Kropf, which apparently would begin tonight.
What a frightening turn her life had taken.
If only Jacob could have been the one to love her in spite of herself.
Instead, he was a flirt, with absolutely no intentions of following through.
Right now, he was probably bent over the letter, poring over every word penned by his Susie.
Or maybe he was laughing over the gullible Missouri girl falling for him.
A tear crept out of the corner of her right eye. She brushed at it and turned away.
A buggy moved down the drive toward the road. The bishop raised his hand but drove on by. He must have been the last customer, which meant that Daed would come out of the shop any moment.
She didn’t need Daed to see her acting like a little lost puppy, waiting for Jacob to reappear.
Becky brushed at her eyes again, squared her shoulders, and went inside.
***
Jacob tossed Susie’s letter onto the bed, hung up his coat, and went to wash his hands. He’d save the letter to savor later in the day, when his chores were done. Something to look forward to.
He figured the letter explained the look of betrayal in Becky’s eyes, but not why she would feel abandoned. She knew about Susie. He’d been straightforward about their relationship from day one.
If anything, Becky was the “other woman.” He really should ask Susie for a break so that he could think. Ever since that run to McDonald’s to fetch Becky, something had changed. Jah, he needed to think about his relationship with Susie. Though how much thinking he’d do, daily tempted by Becky, he didn’t know.
He didn’t understand why it hurt him so much when she felt pain. Why the confusion about his feelings for her? It should have been cut-and-dried. Susie was his future.
Maybe.
Jacob rolled his shoulders and strode toward the door.
Going into the shared kitchen in the main house, he found the family already gathered around the table, except for Daniel, who stood drying his hands with a towel. Jacob nodded toward him, then slid into his seat, his eyes searching Becky’s face.
She raised her eyes to meet his, tears shimmering in their depths. Then, just as quickly, her glance lowered.
He hoped that she’d seen his silent apology but feared she hadn’t.
It shouldn’t have mattered so much, but it did.
Jacob sighed. He knew that he should have been keeping his distance from Becky, but instead, he’d been seeking her out, trying to talk to her, reaching out to her.
As curious as he was as to why, the prospect of finding the answer scared him.
Chapter 15
Becky needed contact with someone who loved her. She picked up Emma, even though the baby seemed completely content lying on her back in the cradle and kicking her feet at the string of bells Mamm had strung across the rails. Becky swaddled her in a sling that had been a boppli gift from her great-aunt Martha. A gift that Becky appreciated and used quite often. It was a handy way to carry Emma when she was fussy or if Becky needed to go somewhere. Right up next to the body. Whoever had thought of that was a genius.
Once the baby-bearing sling was in place, Becky started the kitchen chores. Mamm had already rolled out crusts for the pies, and when she brought out some dried apples from their fall harvest, Becky realized she was making schnitz pie. Relief washed over her to know that she wouldn’t have to bake her special apple pies. She didn’t want to go to all that work for Amos Kropf. Not right after making
He went into the dawdi-haus, and she heard him whistle as he shut the door behind him.
Becky stood there a moment, staring at the closed door. Her life seemed like a spiral of dirty water going down the drain. A deep whirlpool, going faster and faster, out of control. If only Jacob had been reaching out for her. To rescue her, maybe. If only she could cling to Jacob to save her from the madness of being courted by Amos Kropf, which apparently would begin tonight.
What a frightening turn her life had taken.
If only Jacob could have been the one to love her in spite of herself.
Instead, he was a flirt, with absolutely no intentions of following through.
Right now, he was probably bent over the letter, poring over every word penned by his Susie.
Or maybe he was laughing over the gullible Missouri girl falling for him.
A tear crept out of the corner of her right eye. She brushed at it and turned away.
A buggy moved down the drive toward the road. The bishop raised his hand but drove on by. He must have been the last customer, which meant that Daed would come out of the shop any moment.
She didn’t need Daed to see her acting like a little lost puppy, waiting for Jacob to reappear.
Becky brushed at her eyes again, squared her shoulders, and went inside.
***
Jacob tossed Susie’s letter onto the bed, hung up his coat, and went to wash his hands. He’d save the letter to savor later in the day, when his chores were done. Something to look forward to.
He figured the letter explained the look of betrayal in Becky’s eyes, but not why she would feel abandoned. She knew about Susie. He’d been straightforward about their relationship from day one.
If anything, Becky was the “other woman.” He really should ask Susie for a break so that he could think. Ever since that run to McDonald’s to fetch Becky, something had changed. Jah, he needed to think about his relationship with Susie. Though how much thinking he’d do, daily tempted by Becky, he didn’t know.
He didn’t understand why it hurt him so much when she felt pain. Why the confusion about his feelings for her? It should have been cut-and-dried. Susie was his future.
Maybe.
Jacob rolled his shoulders and strode toward the door.
Going into the shared kitchen in the main house, he found the family already gathered around the table, except for Daniel, who stood drying his hands with a towel. Jacob nodded toward him, then slid into his seat, his eyes searching Becky’s face.
She raised her eyes to meet his, tears shimmering in their depths. Then, just as quickly, her glance lowered.
He hoped that she’d seen his silent apology but feared she hadn’t.
It shouldn’t have mattered so much, but it did.
Jacob sighed. He knew that he should have been keeping his distance from Becky, but instead, he’d been seeking her out, trying to talk to her, reaching out to her.
As curious as he was as to why, the prospect of finding the answer scared him.
Chapter 15
Becky needed contact with someone who loved her. She picked up Emma, even though the baby seemed completely content lying on her back in the cradle and kicking her feet at the string of bells Mamm had strung across the rails. Becky swaddled her in a sling that had been a boppli gift from her great-aunt Martha. A gift that Becky appreciated and used quite often. It was a handy way to carry Emma when she was fussy or if Becky needed to go somewhere. Right up next to the body. Whoever had thought of that was a genius.
Once the baby-bearing sling was in place, Becky started the kitchen chores. Mamm had already rolled out crusts for the pies, and when she brought out some dried apples from their fall harvest, Becky realized she was making schnitz pie. Relief washed over her to know that she wouldn’t have to bake her special apple pies. She didn’t want to go to all that work for Amos Kropf. Not right after making
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