Party Princess by Meg Cabot Page B
Authors: Meg Cabot
Tags: Fiction, General, Humorous stories, Family, Juvenile Fiction, Social Issues, Performing Arts, Multigenerational, Schools, High schools, Adolescence, Royalty, princesses, Diaries, parties, Student government
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do I even know about acting? Apart from a brief stint as the mouse in The Lion and the Mouse in the fourth grade, I am not exactly what you’d call experienced in the dramatic arts.
It was a total relief when Grandmère finally let me sit down.
Then, on our way back to our seats, J.P. said, “Hey, that was fun, huh?” to me.
AND I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE I WAS SO STUNNED!!!!!!!
Because to me, J.P. is the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili. He’s not John Paul Reynolds-Abernathy the Fourth. The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili doesn’t have a NAME. He’s just… the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili. The guy I wrote a short story about. A short story that was rejected by Sixteen magazine. A short story I hope to expand into a novel someday.
A short story at the end of which the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili throws himself under the F train.
How can I talk to a guy I had throw himself under a train—even if it WAS only fiction?
Worse, on her way out after the auditions were over, Tina (Jessica Simpson’s “With You”) was all, “Hey, you know what? The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili is kinda cute. I mean, when he’s not freaking out about corn.”
“Yeah,” Lilly agreed. “Now that you mention it, he kinda is.”
I waited for Lilly to add something like, “Too bad he’s such a freak,” or “It’s a shame about the corn thing.” But she didn’t. SHE DIDN’T.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My friends think the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili is cute!!!! A guy I KILLED in my short story!
And it’s all Grandmère’s fault. If she hadn’t got it intoher head to buy a stupid faux island, it would never have occurred to her to write a musical—let alone put it on—for my school, and I never would have met the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili, much less found out that his nickname is J.P. and that, contrary to the character in my short story about him, he is NOT an existential loner, but actually just a nice guy who has a pretty good singing voice, and who my friends think is cute (and they’re right, he is).
God, I hate her.
Well, okay, it’s wrong to hate people.
But I don’t love her, let’s put it that way. In fact, on the list of people I love, Grandmère isn’t even in the top five.
PEOPLE I LOVE, IN ORDER OF
HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM:
1. Fat Louie
2. Rocky
3. Michael
4. My mom
5. My dad
6. Lars
7. Lilly
8. Tina
9. Shameeka/Ling Su/Perin
10. Mr. G
11. Pavlov, Michael’s dog
12. The Drs. Moscovitz
13. Tina Hakim Baba’s little brother and sisters
14. Mrs. Holland, my government teacher last semester
15. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
16. Ronnie, our next-door neighbor
17. Boris Pelkowski
18. Principal Gupta
19. Rommel, Grandmère’s dog
20. Kevin Bacon
21,000. Ms. Martinez
22,000. The doorman at the Plaza who wouldn’t let me in that one time because I wasn’t dressed fancy enough
23,000. Trisha Hayes
24,000,000. Lana Weinberger
25,000,000,000. Grandmère
And I don’t even feel the least bit bad about it. She brought it on HERSELF.
Thursday, March 4, the loft
Guess what Mr. G made for dinner tonight?
Oh yes. Chili.
There wasn’t corn in it, but still.
Maybe I should throw MYSELF under an F train.
Thursday, March 4, the loft
I knew I’d be inundated with e-mails the minute I turned my computer on. And I was right.
From Lilly:
W OMYN R ULE : Does your grandmother realize that the subject matter of her little play is practically rated PG-13? I mean, it contains attempted rape, excessive alcohol consumption, murder, violence—about the only thing it DOESN’T have in it is bad language, and that’s only because it takes place in the year 568. And could you believe how off-key Amber Cheeseman was? I totally blew her out of the water. If I don’t get the part of Rosagunde, it will be a
It was a total relief when Grandmère finally let me sit down.
Then, on our way back to our seats, J.P. said, “Hey, that was fun, huh?” to me.
AND I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE I WAS SO STUNNED!!!!!!!
Because to me, J.P. is the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili. He’s not John Paul Reynolds-Abernathy the Fourth. The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili doesn’t have a NAME. He’s just… the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili. The guy I wrote a short story about. A short story that was rejected by Sixteen magazine. A short story I hope to expand into a novel someday.
A short story at the end of which the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili throws himself under the F train.
How can I talk to a guy I had throw himself under a train—even if it WAS only fiction?
Worse, on her way out after the auditions were over, Tina (Jessica Simpson’s “With You”) was all, “Hey, you know what? The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili is kinda cute. I mean, when he’s not freaking out about corn.”
“Yeah,” Lilly agreed. “Now that you mention it, he kinda is.”
I waited for Lilly to add something like, “Too bad he’s such a freak,” or “It’s a shame about the corn thing.” But she didn’t. SHE DIDN’T.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My friends think the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili is cute!!!! A guy I KILLED in my short story!
And it’s all Grandmère’s fault. If she hadn’t got it intoher head to buy a stupid faux island, it would never have occurred to her to write a musical—let alone put it on—for my school, and I never would have met the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili, much less found out that his nickname is J.P. and that, contrary to the character in my short story about him, he is NOT an existential loner, but actually just a nice guy who has a pretty good singing voice, and who my friends think is cute (and they’re right, he is).
God, I hate her.
Well, okay, it’s wrong to hate people.
But I don’t love her, let’s put it that way. In fact, on the list of people I love, Grandmère isn’t even in the top five.
PEOPLE I LOVE, IN ORDER OF
HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM:
1. Fat Louie
2. Rocky
3. Michael
4. My mom
5. My dad
6. Lars
7. Lilly
8. Tina
9. Shameeka/Ling Su/Perin
10. Mr. G
11. Pavlov, Michael’s dog
12. The Drs. Moscovitz
13. Tina Hakim Baba’s little brother and sisters
14. Mrs. Holland, my government teacher last semester
15. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
16. Ronnie, our next-door neighbor
17. Boris Pelkowski
18. Principal Gupta
19. Rommel, Grandmère’s dog
20. Kevin Bacon
21,000. Ms. Martinez
22,000. The doorman at the Plaza who wouldn’t let me in that one time because I wasn’t dressed fancy enough
23,000. Trisha Hayes
24,000,000. Lana Weinberger
25,000,000,000. Grandmère
And I don’t even feel the least bit bad about it. She brought it on HERSELF.
Thursday, March 4, the loft
Guess what Mr. G made for dinner tonight?
Oh yes. Chili.
There wasn’t corn in it, but still.
Maybe I should throw MYSELF under an F train.
Thursday, March 4, the loft
I knew I’d be inundated with e-mails the minute I turned my computer on. And I was right.
From Lilly:
W OMYN R ULE : Does your grandmother realize that the subject matter of her little play is practically rated PG-13? I mean, it contains attempted rape, excessive alcohol consumption, murder, violence—about the only thing it DOESN’T have in it is bad language, and that’s only because it takes place in the year 568. And could you believe how off-key Amber Cheeseman was? I totally blew her out of the water. If I don’t get the part of Rosagunde, it will be a
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