downstairs to make coffee and get ready for the judges table.
I
left earlier than anyone else to head for the garage and hung out listening to
my MP3 player, trying to figure out this strange twist on circumstances between
Thayne and me. I knew I shouldn’t trust him, at least that’s what I kept
telling myself, but I didn’t believe he would hurt me. I didn’t get that vibe
from him. I was comfortable around him, which never happened with new people.
I didn’t know what to do. I had dated in the past, even had a, well for me,
long-term relationship—we had been together for eight months. He broke it off
after a botched attempt at sex. I had been putting him off until finally I had
said yes, then freaked out. It hadn’t been my first glitch during the
relationship that had just been the last.
After
that, I had decided to stop trying to have relationships, and I couldn’t blame
them for leaving, I was broken. They had all told me I was broken, and no
matter how hot they thought I was, I wasn’t worth the trouble. So I had
decided to focus on work, and that’s what I had done for the past year, focused
on the shop, and saving money to buy Saul out. I didn’t have the time or energy
it would take to have a relationship with anyone, let alone someone who could
be gone at a moment’s notice. Also there was no way I would be going anywhere
near where Thayne lived. Too many demons and nightmares for me to ever return
there. So I guess that made the decision easy, not that he had asked for
anything like that. He had jumped on just friendship, so maybe that’s all it
was, maybe I was making this all more difficult than it really was.
“Scout?”
I
looked up and found Thayne looking down at me, his lip was swollen, and I
winced for him.
I
pulled my ear buds out. “Yeah?”
He
laughed, it was a nice sounding laugh. “I called your name like five times.”
“Sorry,
didn’t hear you.”
“Yeah,
kinda figured that out.”
“Did
you need something?”
“No,
not really, just wondering how you were feeling?” He asked a little taken aback
by my abruptness.
“Doing
fine.”
“How’s
the head?”
“How’s
the lip?”
“Touché,”
he said looking at me oddly, “sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,
I’m fine, just didn’t sleep well.”
“Right,
I can understand that.”
I
was beginning to get nervous under his scrutiny, it was like he saw me, my
demons, and I didn’t like that.
“Okay
well,” I said lifting my ear buds up, “nice talking to you.”
“Scout,
what the hell is wrong with you today?”
“Nothing,
just tired.”
“Did
I do something?”
“No,
it’s me, okay, I’m broken, you don’t understand how broken.”
“Scout,
we’re all broken, in some way, we’re all broken.”
“Not
like me, you’re not broken like me,” I told him, hopped up and headed to the
bathroom so I could breathe.
I
went to the sink and ran cold water, leaned down and splashed some water on my
face. I reached over to grab some paper towels when one was handed to me. I
jerked my head up and saw Thayne standing there. I took the paper towel from
him and wiped off my face keeping an eye on him.
“Want
to tell me what’s going on?” he asked. “Yesterday we were friends and today I
get the cold shoulder?”
I
shrugged. “I’m not a good friend.”
“Mmm
nope, that’s not it, so what’s going on?”
“Nothing,”
I mumbled.
“So
then what was with all that broken shit out there?”
“I
am you know, broken?”
“How
about you let me come up with my own conclusions?”
“Why,
so I can get used to you, comfortable with you, just so you can tell me I’m not
worth the time and energy?”
“Fuck,
what the hell they have done to you?” he muttered, though it sounded like it
was to himself.
“Told
me the truth.”
He
shook his head. “They did a real number on your head. What kind of dickwads
have you dated in the past?”
I
looked
I
left earlier than anyone else to head for the garage and hung out listening to
my MP3 player, trying to figure out this strange twist on circumstances between
Thayne and me. I knew I shouldn’t trust him, at least that’s what I kept
telling myself, but I didn’t believe he would hurt me. I didn’t get that vibe
from him. I was comfortable around him, which never happened with new people.
I didn’t know what to do. I had dated in the past, even had a, well for me,
long-term relationship—we had been together for eight months. He broke it off
after a botched attempt at sex. I had been putting him off until finally I had
said yes, then freaked out. It hadn’t been my first glitch during the
relationship that had just been the last.
After
that, I had decided to stop trying to have relationships, and I couldn’t blame
them for leaving, I was broken. They had all told me I was broken, and no
matter how hot they thought I was, I wasn’t worth the trouble. So I had
decided to focus on work, and that’s what I had done for the past year, focused
on the shop, and saving money to buy Saul out. I didn’t have the time or energy
it would take to have a relationship with anyone, let alone someone who could
be gone at a moment’s notice. Also there was no way I would be going anywhere
near where Thayne lived. Too many demons and nightmares for me to ever return
there. So I guess that made the decision easy, not that he had asked for
anything like that. He had jumped on just friendship, so maybe that’s all it
was, maybe I was making this all more difficult than it really was.
“Scout?”
I
looked up and found Thayne looking down at me, his lip was swollen, and I
winced for him.
I
pulled my ear buds out. “Yeah?”
He
laughed, it was a nice sounding laugh. “I called your name like five times.”
“Sorry,
didn’t hear you.”
“Yeah,
kinda figured that out.”
“Did
you need something?”
“No,
not really, just wondering how you were feeling?” He asked a little taken aback
by my abruptness.
“Doing
fine.”
“How’s
the head?”
“How’s
the lip?”
“Touché,”
he said looking at me oddly, “sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,
I’m fine, just didn’t sleep well.”
“Right,
I can understand that.”
I
was beginning to get nervous under his scrutiny, it was like he saw me, my
demons, and I didn’t like that.
“Okay
well,” I said lifting my ear buds up, “nice talking to you.”
“Scout,
what the hell is wrong with you today?”
“Nothing,
just tired.”
“Did
I do something?”
“No,
it’s me, okay, I’m broken, you don’t understand how broken.”
“Scout,
we’re all broken, in some way, we’re all broken.”
“Not
like me, you’re not broken like me,” I told him, hopped up and headed to the
bathroom so I could breathe.
I
went to the sink and ran cold water, leaned down and splashed some water on my
face. I reached over to grab some paper towels when one was handed to me. I
jerked my head up and saw Thayne standing there. I took the paper towel from
him and wiped off my face keeping an eye on him.
“Want
to tell me what’s going on?” he asked. “Yesterday we were friends and today I
get the cold shoulder?”
I
shrugged. “I’m not a good friend.”
“Mmm
nope, that’s not it, so what’s going on?”
“Nothing,”
I mumbled.
“So
then what was with all that broken shit out there?”
“I
am you know, broken?”
“How
about you let me come up with my own conclusions?”
“Why,
so I can get used to you, comfortable with you, just so you can tell me I’m not
worth the time and energy?”
“Fuck,
what the hell they have done to you?” he muttered, though it sounded like it
was to himself.
“Told
me the truth.”
He
shook his head. “They did a real number on your head. What kind of dickwads
have you dated in the past?”
I
looked
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