prince, "we are not here on a
holiday."
"Quite so, quite so. Business before pleasure."
The prince pulled at his moustache. So did his aide-de-camp, who seemed
to be a man of but little initiative and conversational resource.
"We are invaders."
"Not at all, not at all," protested Mr. Chugwater.
"I must warn you that you will resist at your peril. You wear no
uniform—"
"Wouldn't dream of such a thing. Except at the lodge, of course."
"You will be sorely tempted, no doubt. Do not think that I do not
appreciate your feelings. This is an Englishman's Home."
Mr. Chugwater tapped him confidentially on the knee.
"And an uncommonly snug little place, too," he said. "Now, if you will
forgive me for talking business, you, I gather, propose making some
stay in this country."
The prince laughed shortly. So did his aide-de-camp. "Exactly,"
continued Mr. Chugwater, "exactly. Then you will want some
pied-a-terre
, if you follow me. I shall be delighted to let you
this house on remarkably easy terms for as long as you please. Just
come along into my study for a moment. We can talk it over quietly
there. You see, dealing direct with me, you would escape the
middleman's charges, and—"
Gently but firmly he edged the prince out of the room and down the
passage.
The aide-de-camp continued to sit staring woodenly at the carpet.
Reggie closed quietly in on him.
"Excuse me," he said; "talking shop and all that. But I'm an agent for
the Come One Come All Accident and Life Assurance Office. You have
heard of it probably? We can offer you really exceptional terms. You
must not miss a chance of this sort. Now here's a prospectus—"
Horace sidled forward.
"I don't know if you happen to be a cyclist, Captain—er—Graf; but if
you'd like a practically new motorbike, only been used since last
November, I can let you—"
There was a swish of skirts as Grace and Alice advanced on the visitor.
"I'm sure," said Grace winningly, "that you're fond of the theatre,
Captain Poppenheim. We are getting up a performance of 'Ici on parle
Francais,' in aid of the fund for Supplying Square Meals to Old-Age
Pensioners. Such a deserving object, you know. Now, how many tickets
will you take?"
"You can sell them to your friends, you know," added Mrs. Chugwater.
The aide-de-camp gulped convulsively.
*
Ten minutes later two penniless men groped their way, dazed, to the
garden gate.
"At last," said Prince Otto brokenly, for it was he, "at last I begin
to realise the horrors of an invasion—for the invaders."
And together the two men staggered on.
Chapter 3 - England's Peril
*
When the papers arrived next morning, it was seen that the situation
was even worse than had at first been suspected. Not only had the
Germans effected a landing in Essex, but, in addition, no fewer than
eight other hostile armies had, by some remarkable coincidence, hit on
that identical moment for launching their long-prepared blow.
England was not merely beneath the heel of the invader. It was beneath
the heels of nine invaders.
There was barely standing-room.
Full details were given in the Press. It seemed that while Germany was
landing in Essex, a strong force of Russians, under the Grand Duke
Vodkakoff, had occupied Yarmouth. Simultaneously the Mad Mullah had
captured Portsmouth; while the Swiss navy had bombarded Lyme Regis, and
landed troops immediately to westward of the bathing-machines. At
precisely the same moment China, at last awakened, had swooped down
upon that picturesque little Welsh watering-place, Lllgxtplll, and,
despite desperate resistance on the part of an excursion of Evanses and
Joneses from Cardiff, had obtained a secure foothold. While these
things were happening in Wales, the army of Monaco had descended on
Auchtermuchty, on the Firth of Clyde. Within two minutes of this
disaster, by Greenwich time, a boisterous band of Young Turks had
seized Scarborough. And, at Brighton and Margate respectively, small
but determined armies, the one of Moroccan
holiday."
"Quite so, quite so. Business before pleasure."
The prince pulled at his moustache. So did his aide-de-camp, who seemed
to be a man of but little initiative and conversational resource.
"We are invaders."
"Not at all, not at all," protested Mr. Chugwater.
"I must warn you that you will resist at your peril. You wear no
uniform—"
"Wouldn't dream of such a thing. Except at the lodge, of course."
"You will be sorely tempted, no doubt. Do not think that I do not
appreciate your feelings. This is an Englishman's Home."
Mr. Chugwater tapped him confidentially on the knee.
"And an uncommonly snug little place, too," he said. "Now, if you will
forgive me for talking business, you, I gather, propose making some
stay in this country."
The prince laughed shortly. So did his aide-de-camp. "Exactly,"
continued Mr. Chugwater, "exactly. Then you will want some
pied-a-terre
, if you follow me. I shall be delighted to let you
this house on remarkably easy terms for as long as you please. Just
come along into my study for a moment. We can talk it over quietly
there. You see, dealing direct with me, you would escape the
middleman's charges, and—"
Gently but firmly he edged the prince out of the room and down the
passage.
The aide-de-camp continued to sit staring woodenly at the carpet.
Reggie closed quietly in on him.
"Excuse me," he said; "talking shop and all that. But I'm an agent for
the Come One Come All Accident and Life Assurance Office. You have
heard of it probably? We can offer you really exceptional terms. You
must not miss a chance of this sort. Now here's a prospectus—"
Horace sidled forward.
"I don't know if you happen to be a cyclist, Captain—er—Graf; but if
you'd like a practically new motorbike, only been used since last
November, I can let you—"
There was a swish of skirts as Grace and Alice advanced on the visitor.
"I'm sure," said Grace winningly, "that you're fond of the theatre,
Captain Poppenheim. We are getting up a performance of 'Ici on parle
Francais,' in aid of the fund for Supplying Square Meals to Old-Age
Pensioners. Such a deserving object, you know. Now, how many tickets
will you take?"
"You can sell them to your friends, you know," added Mrs. Chugwater.
The aide-de-camp gulped convulsively.
*
Ten minutes later two penniless men groped their way, dazed, to the
garden gate.
"At last," said Prince Otto brokenly, for it was he, "at last I begin
to realise the horrors of an invasion—for the invaders."
And together the two men staggered on.
Chapter 3 - England's Peril
*
When the papers arrived next morning, it was seen that the situation
was even worse than had at first been suspected. Not only had the
Germans effected a landing in Essex, but, in addition, no fewer than
eight other hostile armies had, by some remarkable coincidence, hit on
that identical moment for launching their long-prepared blow.
England was not merely beneath the heel of the invader. It was beneath
the heels of nine invaders.
There was barely standing-room.
Full details were given in the Press. It seemed that while Germany was
landing in Essex, a strong force of Russians, under the Grand Duke
Vodkakoff, had occupied Yarmouth. Simultaneously the Mad Mullah had
captured Portsmouth; while the Swiss navy had bombarded Lyme Regis, and
landed troops immediately to westward of the bathing-machines. At
precisely the same moment China, at last awakened, had swooped down
upon that picturesque little Welsh watering-place, Lllgxtplll, and,
despite desperate resistance on the part of an excursion of Evanses and
Joneses from Cardiff, had obtained a secure foothold. While these
things were happening in Wales, the army of Monaco had descended on
Auchtermuchty, on the Firth of Clyde. Within two minutes of this
disaster, by Greenwich time, a boisterous band of Young Turks had
seized Scarborough. And, at Brighton and Margate respectively, small
but determined armies, the one of Moroccan
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