truth, no matter how much it scared the hell out of her.
“ I can’t say I’m the great person you think I am, because I don’t believe it.”
Jules’s heart hammered hard enough for her to hear the whoosh of blood in her ears, and O h God, she really needed to shut up, to take it back, to bite her tongue silly. But when Blake moved behind her, turning her around to cup her face and look right into her with those eyes that missed nothing, Jules knew he saw past the road blocks and fast talk. He saw her .
And he truly believed she was worthy.
“I’m not sure why,” Blake said , and his quiet, matter-of-fact calm was all it took to let the floodgates open wide.
“You think you know who I am, but you don’t. You don’t know where I came from . Not really,” she blurted, the admission burning a path of heat over her cheeks.
“Does this have to do with you being an orphan ?” Blake’s forehead creased, but before he could work up any more questions about the vague story she’d given him when they first met, Jules forced herself to keep talking.
“I am an orphan, but that’s not the whole truth. I was born in the North Brentsville Women’s Shelter, because my mother was living in an abandoned warehouse when she went into labor with me. She turned me over to the foster care system when I was three, and I don’t know anything about my father other than the fact that he didn’t want me, either. Family services tried to place me with an adoptive family, but I was just another welfare kid in a system already full of them.”
Blake’s jaw went tight, a barely-there hardening of the muscles beneath the gold-brown stubble. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”
“Because where I come from, admitting your weaknesses gets you hurt. Or worse yet, left behind.”
“ Growing up in foster care isn’t a weakness, Jules. Wait,” he said, his eyes going wide with realization. “Is that why you never told me about your family or took me to your place? You thought it made you weak?”
She nodded, unable to keep the words from pouring out like water spilled from an oversized glass. “I’ve spent my whole life being tough just to survive. I couldn’t tell you the ugly details, Blake. You were pre-med at Brentsville University, smart and funny and from the wealthiest family in the entire zip code. What would you have said if you’d known I’d lived in seven foster homes in thirteen years, and that I left high school at seventeen because I needed to get a job or starve? That when I met you, I carried everything I owned with me in a duffel bag because it was the best way to keep it from getting stolen from my shitty apartment in Battery Heights? What would you have said if you’d known the truth?”
For an excruciating second, he said nothing , and damn it, she should’ve just stayed quiet. But then Blake stepped in, the honesty on his face so real and open and true that Jules knew not only was she in love with him all the way to her bones, but she’d never really stopped.
“ I would’ve said that I wanted you anyway, Jules, no matter what. Just like I do now.”
“I ’m so sorry,” she whispered, her traitorous eyes filling with tears. “I was afraid that if you saw it all, even now, you wouldn’t want to be with me. I didn’t mean to keep anything from you, and I never meant to hurt you by leaving, but I’m not… I’m not…” Jules stumbled on the words, the echo of an eight-year-old memory sifting up from the back of her brain.
You’re going to ruin him, you know. You’re not good enough for my son.
“That’s what made you leave so suddenly eight years ago?” His voice was thick with surprise, and something deeper Jules couldn’t quite identify. “Because you thought you weren’t good enough?”
Oh no. No, no. There was no point in doing any more damage when the end result wouldn’t change. Telling Blake that his mother had shown up at her grungy apartment, deep in the
“ I can’t say I’m the great person you think I am, because I don’t believe it.”
Jules’s heart hammered hard enough for her to hear the whoosh of blood in her ears, and O h God, she really needed to shut up, to take it back, to bite her tongue silly. But when Blake moved behind her, turning her around to cup her face and look right into her with those eyes that missed nothing, Jules knew he saw past the road blocks and fast talk. He saw her .
And he truly believed she was worthy.
“I’m not sure why,” Blake said , and his quiet, matter-of-fact calm was all it took to let the floodgates open wide.
“You think you know who I am, but you don’t. You don’t know where I came from . Not really,” she blurted, the admission burning a path of heat over her cheeks.
“Does this have to do with you being an orphan ?” Blake’s forehead creased, but before he could work up any more questions about the vague story she’d given him when they first met, Jules forced herself to keep talking.
“I am an orphan, but that’s not the whole truth. I was born in the North Brentsville Women’s Shelter, because my mother was living in an abandoned warehouse when she went into labor with me. She turned me over to the foster care system when I was three, and I don’t know anything about my father other than the fact that he didn’t want me, either. Family services tried to place me with an adoptive family, but I was just another welfare kid in a system already full of them.”
Blake’s jaw went tight, a barely-there hardening of the muscles beneath the gold-brown stubble. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”
“Because where I come from, admitting your weaknesses gets you hurt. Or worse yet, left behind.”
“ Growing up in foster care isn’t a weakness, Jules. Wait,” he said, his eyes going wide with realization. “Is that why you never told me about your family or took me to your place? You thought it made you weak?”
She nodded, unable to keep the words from pouring out like water spilled from an oversized glass. “I’ve spent my whole life being tough just to survive. I couldn’t tell you the ugly details, Blake. You were pre-med at Brentsville University, smart and funny and from the wealthiest family in the entire zip code. What would you have said if you’d known I’d lived in seven foster homes in thirteen years, and that I left high school at seventeen because I needed to get a job or starve? That when I met you, I carried everything I owned with me in a duffel bag because it was the best way to keep it from getting stolen from my shitty apartment in Battery Heights? What would you have said if you’d known the truth?”
For an excruciating second, he said nothing , and damn it, she should’ve just stayed quiet. But then Blake stepped in, the honesty on his face so real and open and true that Jules knew not only was she in love with him all the way to her bones, but she’d never really stopped.
“ I would’ve said that I wanted you anyway, Jules, no matter what. Just like I do now.”
“I ’m so sorry,” she whispered, her traitorous eyes filling with tears. “I was afraid that if you saw it all, even now, you wouldn’t want to be with me. I didn’t mean to keep anything from you, and I never meant to hurt you by leaving, but I’m not… I’m not…” Jules stumbled on the words, the echo of an eight-year-old memory sifting up from the back of her brain.
You’re going to ruin him, you know. You’re not good enough for my son.
“That’s what made you leave so suddenly eight years ago?” His voice was thick with surprise, and something deeper Jules couldn’t quite identify. “Because you thought you weren’t good enough?”
Oh no. No, no. There was no point in doing any more damage when the end result wouldn’t change. Telling Blake that his mother had shown up at her grungy apartment, deep in the
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