Out of the Blue: Six Non-Medication Ways to Relieve Depression (Norton Professional Books) by Bill O'Hanlon Page B
Authors: Bill O'Hanlon
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crook—or mostly by writing books (over thirty so far) and traveling around the world offering trainings designed to influence my field to become more effective and optimistic.
So, in the wake of depression, I think two energies that are often seen as negative—the blisters of life, if you will—can arise strongly for the person who has passed through this intense, transformative experience. I call these energies “Dissed” and “Pissed.”
By Dissed, I mean disrespected and dissatisfied. When someone comes out the other side of his depression, what suffering has he become exquisitely sensitized to and what situations is he moved to change because of that sensitivity? Some people who have gone through the process become advocates for the “mentally ill.” Others have a mission to stop cruelty to animals or the suffering of the poor or infirm.
Pissed is a slightly different energy, but closely related. Where and when and about what does your client get righteously indignant? What does he feel moved to change the world to stop or prevent?
The key to using both of these energies is to transform them so they don’t drag your clients down or hurt others. Your goal is to help your clients use that energy to make positive contributions to the world or to others.
Psychologist Sam Keen wrote,
We all leave childhood with wounds. In time we may transform our liabilities into gifts. The faults that pockmark the psyche may become the source of a man or a woman’s beauty. The injuries we have suffered invite us to assume the most human of all vocations—to heal ourselves and others. (Keen, 1992)
It won’t do any good for someone to show up at work or school or the psychiatrist’s office with an AK-47 and create more suffering. It won’t do any good for him to hurt himself. He must seize this energy and move it out into the world in a way that relieves suffering. Depression is the crack that can also let the light out.
Jungian analyst Marion Woodman says, “Real suffering burns clean; neurotic suffering creates more and more soot” (1985, p. 152). For those of us who have been burned by the fires of deep depression, there can be a certain cleansing clarity that arrives after recovery. Using this cleansing clarity to discover the direction for the rest of our lives can transform our relationship with depression. Again, we must be careful not to follow this line of inquiry too soon or to be glib about it with our clients, but mining the richness resulting from having gone so deep and having suffered so much can yield treasures that can enhance the person’s life for years to come.
Here are some questions to consider with your client as he comes out of depression:
“What do you wish others had known about what you were going through?”
“If you had an hour of prime time to tell others about depression, what would you say?”
“Without minimizing the pain or being glib about it, what do think you have brought from that experience that can stay with you and help you in the future?”
“How has having been so depressed changed you?”
“Is there any newfound appreciation or direction that has resulted from your having come through this terrible ordeal?”
“Is there any cause that you now feel more moved by since you have experienced so much suffering?”
Here is a sample dialogue showing a way to highlight and use the Dissed energy resulting from depression in a way that can start to move the client forward:
Client: That was probably the worst experience of my life, being that depressed.
Therapist: Now that you’re coming out of it, how do you think that having been so depressed and suffering so acutely has changed you or sensitized you?
Client: I think I will be kinder to people and have more empathy and compassion for anyone who is suffering. I will be more patient, I think. It used to be that when other people were complaining about something, I would be very judgmental, thinking if only they would
So, in the wake of depression, I think two energies that are often seen as negative—the blisters of life, if you will—can arise strongly for the person who has passed through this intense, transformative experience. I call these energies “Dissed” and “Pissed.”
By Dissed, I mean disrespected and dissatisfied. When someone comes out the other side of his depression, what suffering has he become exquisitely sensitized to and what situations is he moved to change because of that sensitivity? Some people who have gone through the process become advocates for the “mentally ill.” Others have a mission to stop cruelty to animals or the suffering of the poor or infirm.
Pissed is a slightly different energy, but closely related. Where and when and about what does your client get righteously indignant? What does he feel moved to change the world to stop or prevent?
The key to using both of these energies is to transform them so they don’t drag your clients down or hurt others. Your goal is to help your clients use that energy to make positive contributions to the world or to others.
Psychologist Sam Keen wrote,
We all leave childhood with wounds. In time we may transform our liabilities into gifts. The faults that pockmark the psyche may become the source of a man or a woman’s beauty. The injuries we have suffered invite us to assume the most human of all vocations—to heal ourselves and others. (Keen, 1992)
It won’t do any good for someone to show up at work or school or the psychiatrist’s office with an AK-47 and create more suffering. It won’t do any good for him to hurt himself. He must seize this energy and move it out into the world in a way that relieves suffering. Depression is the crack that can also let the light out.
Jungian analyst Marion Woodman says, “Real suffering burns clean; neurotic suffering creates more and more soot” (1985, p. 152). For those of us who have been burned by the fires of deep depression, there can be a certain cleansing clarity that arrives after recovery. Using this cleansing clarity to discover the direction for the rest of our lives can transform our relationship with depression. Again, we must be careful not to follow this line of inquiry too soon or to be glib about it with our clients, but mining the richness resulting from having gone so deep and having suffered so much can yield treasures that can enhance the person’s life for years to come.
Here are some questions to consider with your client as he comes out of depression:
“What do you wish others had known about what you were going through?”
“If you had an hour of prime time to tell others about depression, what would you say?”
“Without minimizing the pain or being glib about it, what do think you have brought from that experience that can stay with you and help you in the future?”
“How has having been so depressed changed you?”
“Is there any newfound appreciation or direction that has resulted from your having come through this terrible ordeal?”
“Is there any cause that you now feel more moved by since you have experienced so much suffering?”
Here is a sample dialogue showing a way to highlight and use the Dissed energy resulting from depression in a way that can start to move the client forward:
Client: That was probably the worst experience of my life, being that depressed.
Therapist: Now that you’re coming out of it, how do you think that having been so depressed and suffering so acutely has changed you or sensitized you?
Client: I think I will be kinder to people and have more empathy and compassion for anyone who is suffering. I will be more patient, I think. It used to be that when other people were complaining about something, I would be very judgmental, thinking if only they would
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