Optical Delusions in Deadwood by Ann Charles Page B

reputation, since Jeff didn’t believe in ghosts.

          “Well, that, too.” Jeff shut the pizza box and stacked it on top of the other one. “I was just thinking about the Open Cut next to it. Who’d want that just a spit in the wind away from their front door?”

          “I sure wouldn’t,” mumbled Harvey through a mouthful of ice cream.

          “It’s a beautiful house.”

          “Yeah, but that’s one big-ass hole.” Jeff’s cell phone rang. He looked at the display screen, his eyes narrowing. “Speaking of big assholes ...” He pushed to his feet, the phone held to his ear. “What do you want, Donna?”

          Nonstop nattering came through the line loud enough for me to hear. Jeff’s jaw tightened. He turned and stomped through the living room and down the hall, slamming his bedroom door behind him. Now what did she want? His other testicle?

          “Jeff keeps staring at your butt,” Harvey said, yanking my attention back to the dining room.

          I stood and picked up the litter of paper plates. “Thanks for that inside information.”

          “I figured you should know.”

          “Now I do.”

          “Doc stares, too, but not at your butt as much. He’s more of a breast man.”

          The lack of filter on Harvey’s mouth never ceased to amaze me. “I don’t want to talk about Doc,” I said and left the room.

          Harvey followed me into the kitchen. “He sure wants to talk about you lately. Or talk to you, anyway.” He set the cups he’d carried into the sink. “He called me today, looking for you.”

          I shied away from eye contact, but I could feel Harvey watching me. “Did he?” I tried to sound nonchalant, as though my heart wasn’t doing somersaults about Doc wanting me, even if it was just to talk.

          “Yep. He says you’re avoiding him.”

          “Really? I wonder where he got that idea.” No sixth sense needed to pick up on the vibes I blasted his way.

          “He said he left a message for you at work.”

          “I haven’t been in the office all day.”

          “And on your cell phone.”

          “With all the cleaning I’ve been doing, I haven’t had a chance to check my messages yet.”

          Harvey scoffed. “Bullshit. You’re a Realtor and a mother. That cell phone is practically attached to you.”

          I cut Harvey off at the pass. “I said I don’t want to talk about Doc, Harvey.”

          “What happened between you two?”

          “Did you hear what I just said?”

          “Sure, I’m not deaf. What happened?”

          “I’m beginning to understand why your harem is so big. You just don’t give up, do you?”

          “Nope. What happened?”

          “We had a disagreement.”

          “A lovers’ spat?”

          I didn’t dignify that with a response, mostly because I was afraid he’d see through me and know Doc and I had sex. Harvey’s hearing may have been fading, but his bird-dog nose didn’t miss a single scent. If he got hold of that juicy little tidbit, I’d be up shit creek during spring runoff when having a paddle didn’t matter. I tried to distract the old buzzard. “Did Cooper find any more clues today about the whangdoodle problem back in your cemetery?”

          “One of the shovels from my tool shed is missing.” Harvey crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes unwavering. I felt like bacteria in a Petri dish. “Is that all you’re going to tell me about Doc and you?”

          “There is no ‘Doc and me’.” Not now, not ever, per Doc.

          He snorted. “Somebody oughta tell him that.”

          My heart picked up speed. “Why? What else did he say?”

          “Ha! I knew it. You can’t hide things from this old man. Now tell me the truth. What happened?”

          I sighed.