Only Between Us by Mila Ferrera Page B

still on the snaps of her coat. “Are you going to be okay?” she asks.
    “Me?”
    Her lips pull into a gentle smile. “You were so upset earlier, and I …”
    “Made me forget about it,” I say. Nearly made me forget my own name. “It’s no big deal. I’m fine.”
    She chuckles and pulls her hood up. “It wasn’t the way I expected it to go, but I’m glad I … made you feel better.” We stare at each other for a moment, and then both of us start to laugh. She comes to her senses first. “I guess I’ll see you later.” She picks up her toolbox and turns to the door.
    “Wait. I—can I …” I trail off. I want to ask for her number, but what if she thinks all I’m interested in is a booty call?
    She blinks up at me. “I’ll probably see you in class on Tuesday, right?”
    I nod, trying to figure out the right thing to say. I’m still working on it as she gives me a quick wave and heads out into the rain, leaving me standing in the entryway. Alone.

Chapter Eleven: Romy
    I lie awake, staring at my ceiling. In all my life, I’ve never done anything so crazy and wild. I’ve never turned my brain off and focused so entirely on physical pleasure. But now I can’t turn my brain off. Caleb … Caleb . He seemed to know exactly what to do and how to move. He made me feel safe, didn’t have to force a thing. Not like Alex, who was always in control, who always took what he wanted and apologized afterward if I didn’t like it. Caleb did the opposite. Everything he did told me he hadn’t forgotten I was there, that whether I wanted him or not actually mattered to him. And that’s why I was able to let go and lose myself in the pleasure of it, because it was what I wanted, not something he was taking from me.
    I have to wonder, though, if I took something from him.
    The more I sit with it, the more I realize that I twisted things around. It became about me, when he was the one drowning. As soon as he had me on that table, I stopped thinking about what was going on for him. My only thoughts were about his body, how much I wanted him, how amazing it felt. I’d been chasing one thing, and he gave it to me like he knew I needed it. I cringe with my own selfishness. He’s a guy , I tell myself. Physical stuff doesn’t mean as much to them, right? And it seemed like he’d enjoyed himself, if I read that final shudder and moan correctly. Right before he collapsed onto me, his whole body had gone tight. If orgasms are the unit of measurement here, I think he got as much out of it as I did.
    Then I walked away. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to hear it. I needed to get out of there and pull my thoughts together, put my armor back on. He’d shattered everything with his stroking fingers, with the hard, perfect lines of his body, with the sweet, insistent taste of his mouth.
    Now I have to figure out what to do next. Are we good, or are there pieces I have to pick up? Markus knew exactly what had happened, I’m sure. He gave me a once-over that said I can picture it all . I’m sure it’s not the only time, though. Caleb isn’t the first one to let loose in his studio. When I was in college, the artists’ studios were prime make out spots. I’m sure it’s no different in the co-op. And we’re not in college anymore. We’re adults. We can do what we want, and we don’t have to explain it. I don’t care what Markus or anyone else thinks of me.
    Except Caleb. As much as I try to tell myself differently, I think I care what he thinks. I care how he is . I need to find out. He said he was fine, but I’m not sure I should take that at face value. What made him destroy his paintings? Who hurt him this badly?
    How will he look at me the next time he sees me? Will he avoid me? Smirk? Brag to Markus about feeling me up?
    Is there any chance he’d want to do it again?
    When my alarm goes off, I get up and go for a quick run, then shower, still mulling things over. But as I set out